"Illegal channels?" Araporn laughed as he and Frieda walked down the street together the next morning. "Jeez, Frieda, the only channel that should be illegal is CNX..."
"Why's that?"
"Because they keep cancelling the best anime, goddamn it!"
"I didn't know you were into that sort of thing, Araporn."
"I'm not! The writer made me say it. I ain't gonna say no, am I? You know how violent she can b- Arrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!" Araporn clutched at his heart and fell to the floor, shaking aggressively.
"Oh my god!" Araporn's girlfriend Arwank ran over and dropped down beside him. "Is he OK? What happened?"
Frieda shrugged. "Oh nothing really, just another heart attack."
"What's going on?" Their friend Borrow-Queer, the legendary shoplifter from Gonads, appeared behind Frieda. "Has he been slagging off Rachel again?"
"You'd think he'd learn..." Frieda sighed.
Police sirens echoed in the distance. Borrow-Queer panicked. "Oh shit!" He yelled and ran off, a big sack with a dollar sign slung over his shoulder.
"Mr Frieda!"
Frieda rolled his eyes. Here we go...
"Mr Frieda!!!" Sam ran up to him and threw his arms around him. "Hullo, Mr Frieda! Are you going to Galadri-Hell's party tonight?"
"I can't," Frieda groaned. "Dildo won't let me."
You could actually hear Sam's heart break into two. "B-Because of the glove thing?"
"Huh? How'd you find out about that?"
Sam blushed scarlet and said nothing. Luckily for him, right at that moment, Ganja the Gay, their old wizard friend arrived, smoking his pipe and looking stoned as usual.
"Yo..." he said quietly, taking a long drag from his pipe.
"Mr Ganja, are you going to the party tonight?" Sam asked. After all, if he couldn't get Frieda in the sack ,he'd have to use his last resort...
"Yeah," Ganja replied. "I have a secret weapon. I'm gonna get laid for sure..."
Frieda shuddered. "Ganja, it's first thing in the morning. I don't want to picture you having sex, that's just wrong!"
"Er... yeah, sick and wrong!" Sam lied.
"Guys!" Araporn ran back to them. "Guys! Arwank just said she loved me!"
"What?"
"She was so worried about me having a heart attack that she gave me this weird necklace thing and said she loved me. Shit, what do I do?"
"Taking the necklace off would be a start," Ganja laughed. "You look like a girl!"
Araporn shrieked and threw the necklace in the bin. He couldn't risk losing his unrelenting masculinity for a chick.
They heard a broken yell behind them and then a cheesy one-liner. The gang sighed in unison..
"Here they come to wreck the day!!!!" Araporn sang.
For it was then that Very Merry and Pipe-in, the Token Tolkien Twats ran towards them, occassionally tripping over things and acting stupid.
"Hi everyone!" Pipe-in grinned. "Ready for the pub crawl?"
"Pub crawl?" Sam repeated, frowning in confusion. "I thought we were supposed to be at High School or something?"
Very Merry laughed. "Yeah right, what kind of idiot would put hobbits, elves, dwarves, men and wizards of all different ages in one high school together?"
"Hey guys!" Legohash smiled as he walked over to them, carrying his school books and being followed by his ever-present adoring fan club. "Ready for class?"
Very Merry sighed. "Damn you, Rachel Gosling..."