When I Rule The World

When I rule the world,
I shall proudly sit on my swivvely chair,
Stroking the cat that will purr contently on my lap,
And I shall throw back my head and laugh.
At those fools that have doubted me in the past,
Or called me names,
Or ignored me...
Or gave me a D in Science,
Yeah, I'm talking to you, Mr Scarsbrooke!
I shall have my revenge on you all.
Every single person who has ever treated me in a manner that displeases me,
Shall burn at the stake,
And the rest will be my slaves forever.
And I will just sit there,
Throw back my head,
And laugh.

Suicide

I could always try hanging myself,
Or jumping off a cliff,
Hey maybe an overdose might work!
No, I'd probably feel better after the fifth...
I could lie down in the middle of a train track,
But some idiot's bound to try and save me.
I could jump off a bridge and drown in the sea,
But I'd probably be rescued by the Navy.

God dammit, people! Why won't you let me die?
This world is destroying me so...
It seems the harder and harder I try,
The more you won't let me go.

The Reject

"Nobody loves you!
Everybody hates you!
Sittin' in the garden eatin' wo-orms!"
Our childhood song still haunts me.
The coldness and evil of it all.
I am the reject.
Nobody loves me.
Everybody hates me.
And I...Well, I don't eat worms but you get the idea.
My family?
They are downstairs.
Together.
Together means without me.
Because I am nothing to them.
They don't need me.
But I don't need them.

The Evil Geography Teacher

Oh, how I loathe thee.
You keep me in after school.
Give me long boring lectures.
And yell at me for the most trivial reasons.
Is it my fault that pen exploded?
Am I really to blame just because I had no tissues?
And is that any reason to blatantly insult me,
In front of my face?!
Well...
You may think I'm rude...
You may think I'm bigheaded...
You may think I don't concentrate...
You may think I won't get far in this world...
But just you wait, Mr Spragg.
You'll regret what you did.

You Know That Feeling?

You know that feeling?
When somebody has just insulted you?
And it really really annoys you?
And you just want them to shut up?
But they don't?
And you feel like screaming at them?
But you know you can't?
Because you'll be in serious trouble if you do?
So you just have to sit ther?
And take it all in?
And they try to sound polite?
But they have those stupid smirks on their faces?
Which just makes the whole damn thing so obvious?
And you just want to slap them?
Or insult them back?
But you can't?
Because you'll be in serious trouble if you do?
So you just have to sit there?
Well...
I had that.

The Invisible Child

She stands, shunted to one side,
Whilst the rest overshadow her,
She sits, ignored by the others,
Monitoring their happy lives,
Without one for her own,
And if she dropped dead suddenly,
Nobody would care,
Because she is the Invisible Child,
And nobody knows she is there.

She watches, isolated from the crowds,
Moping in the darkness,
She screams from the depths of her soul,
And nobody looks up.
If she announced her feelings,
Nobody would care,
Because she is the Invisible Child,
And nobody knows she is there.

She cries, but nobody is interested,
They are too busy to notice her griefs,
She storms out of the room,
Nobody goes after her.
And if she never, ever returned,
Nobody would care,
Because she is the Invisible Child,
And nobody knows she is there...

Rival

Roald Dahl was bad enough,
Jaqueline Wilson was a worthy adversary,
Judy Blume gave a run for her money,
But you...
You set aside all writers.
You are the David Beckham of Literature.
You can capture the hearts of this miserable planet with a single paragraph.
And me?
God, I envy you.I am nothing.
You have your books.
And I have my scraps of paper, bundled up in a battered folder,
You are a household name.
And nobody knows if I'm Hayley, Katie or Rachel.
But know this:
I may want to be a writer,
But I don't want to be you.
if I ever meet you, JK Rowling,
I shall beat you over the head with my copy of 'The Goblet Of Fire'.

Die

Fuck you all.Crawl back under your stones.
I don't need you.
I don't need anyone.
I don't need you to feel sorry for me, girls.
I don't need you to lecture me, Mr Spragg.
I don't need your help with the dishes, Kev.
I don't need you to publish bestsellers, Miss Rowling.
All of you can fuck off.
I don't want you.
I don't need you.
I can make it on my own, thank you very much.
So fuck you.
Fuck you all.
You're all going to die.
And I'm going to laugh.