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The Pact

Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover. Hangover.

Frieda groaned and opened his eyes. Sam was lying next to him, his hands where they shouldn't be. The rest of the gang were fast asleep. even Araporn was on his own. It looked like Gimpli was the only one who'd managed to have sex. Frieda smelt the familiar smell of canabis. He looked up and saw Ganja sitting on a low-slung branch of the tree smoking his pipe.
"Ganja!" He smiled. "Where were you last night? What happened to your secret weapon?"
Ganja sighed. "I was going to come fashionably late..."
"But you were too late, right?" Frieda smiled.
"A wizard is never late, Frieda Leaf..." Ganja muttered. "Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to..."

(Gasp! Could this be the hidden meaning behind it all? Could this be why Gandalf and Frodo laugh so much in the film? Becasue Gandalf was too late to get laid at a party?! Gasp again! I'M A GENIUS!!!!!!)

Gimpli came past with his bird. Everyone, who suddenly woke up-
Zzzzzzz.....

OI!!! Pipe-in!!! I said EVERYONE WOKE UP!!!! That includes you, even if you ARE a nobody!!!
As I was saying, everyone who suddenly woke up, watched as they had a disgusting snog-fest and then the girl left. Gimpli turned and gave them a demented grin.
"Say goodbye to the Gimpli you knew, fellers..." he smirked. "I am now a man... well, a dwarf man at least..."
"H-How... How did you...?" Legohash asked.
Gimpli laughed. "Some people have it, some people don't I guess.
You tell 'em, Gimpli.
"Thanks, Rach."
"This is an outrage!" Frieda roared.
"How come you made me and Arwank fall out but the dwarf gets to have sex?!" Araporn demanded.
"That's just plain favouritism!" Borrow-Queer yelled.
"Yeah, and I thought I was your favourite!" Legohash wailed.
"Well, that's it then!" Araporn shouted, jumping to his feet with fire in his eyes (not literally of course. That would hurt...) "I say we make a pact! We all have to lose our virginity before the prom! No longer will our penises remain flacid and unused! We will make a stand! We will succeed!"
"Yeah!" said Borrow-Queer.
"WE WILL GET LAID!!!!!!!!!"

"OK, ground rules..." Araporn said as they ate lunch in RFC (Rohan Fried Chicken) that afternoon. The contenders, Araporn, Borrow-Queer, Legohash, Frieda and Ganja sat around the table and listened carefully.

"No prostitues. If that's what you were thinking, Ganja..."
"Haha, busted!" Borrow-Queer laughed.
"Not like you're going to be, Borrow-Queer..." Ganja muttered. "The police have a Ł10,000 reward on you."
"WHAT?!"
Araporn continued. "No lying about it. If that's what you were thinking, Borrow-Queer."
"Haha, busted!" Ganja laughed.
"So how long is it until the prom?" Frieda asked.
"Two weeks until the day."
Legohash groaned. "I'm never going to do this..."
Just then, another one of the Legolas fan club came running over, her breasts threatening to take her eyes out, she was running that fast. "OH MY GOD, IT'S LEGOLAS! PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME!"
"Look, I'm not-" he suddenly stopped and realised. "Well, alright..." he shrugged and walked off with her.

When he returned later on, he grinned and sat back down. "That was easy." he said.
"You mean you're done already?!" Borrow-Queer gasped.
"That's not fair!" Ganja cried.
"What did it feel like, Legohash?" Frieda asked.
Legohash looked up and grinned mischeviously. "Like warm lembas bread..." he replied.

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