If you don't know the whole story about our 'lovely' teacher, Mr Spragg, you should read them before you read these poems. Click Here for the details.

NOTE: These poems, songs and short stories were taken from Rachel's 'We Hate Mr Spragg Club Newsletters', the greastest journalistic masterpiece ever to hit Year 9 Geography last year.

The Gay Teacher Blues

I've got this stupid teacher,
He bugs us everyday,
He's got a big nose...
AND HE'S TOTALLY GAY!!!
I got the blues...
The Gay Teacher Blues.
My teacher is gay,
Where ever he goes,
And every day, he has such a big nose!!!!
I got the blues...

Oompah-Lumpah

Oompah lumpah, doopidy doo,
I have a perfect puzzle for you,
Oompah loompah doopidy dee,
If you are wise, you'll listen to me,
Mr nose is a stubborn old pig,
His hair is a mess and his nose is too big,
His smell makes us cry and his shirts are a shame,
And we all know whos..to...blame...
His mother and his father...
Oompah loompah doopidy dah,
If you're not in his class, then you will go far,
You will live in happiness too,
Like the Oompah loompah doopidy do!

Our Teacher's An Ugly Guy

Our teacher's an ugly guy,
He makes all the babies cry,
His nose is too big,
He looks like a pig,
Our teacher's an ugly guy!

Reality Check For Mr Nose

Mr Nose, your haircut's dumb,
It's really really gay,
Now you've got more hair on your bum,
And it makes us laugh all day,

Holy hell, you have a big nose.
And i bet you still live with your mum,
She washes your hair and washes your toes,
And conditions the hair on your bum.

The Mr Nose Chant

Hail, gale, fire and snow,
Someone make that knobhead go,
Hail, gale, snow and fire,
Why won't Mr Nose retire?

White socks

White socks!
You don't have to wear those socks tonight!
Wearing your white socks,
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right.
White socks!
You don't have to wear socks that are white,
Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite socks!!!(a little nose action here always helps...)
You don't have to wear those socks in broad daylight...