Liferafts
A Story By Rachel Gosling
My cousin Andrew(hi Andrew!!!) and his stupid friend Ian (Nicknamed Rizzo because he looks like a rat- Hi Rizzo!!!)were staying at our house for a week and one night they went out and got really drunk. When I went downstairs in the morning, they were both asleep, but there was this giant red plastic thing poking out of Andrew's quilt. Just then, Rizzo woke up and sat up and he had this big black strap around his shoulder. "What the hell is that?" I asked. Rizzo looked at me like i'd grown a third eye. "mmmmananannnnuuughgghhhh...?" Which i can only assume was "What are you talking about?" I pointed to the rap thing. He threw off his quilt, then threw it back on coz he was just in his boxers, and then pulled out whatever it was that was on the end of that strap. It turned out to be a liferaft. Yes, a liferaft. And the red thing poking out of Andrew's quilt was also a liferaft. Rizzo then explained what had happened, quite calmly, as if it was completely ordinary to go down to the beach in the middle of the night and let your best friend surf on a piece of driftwood. And totally normal to then steal 2 liferafts from the lifeguard's hut, and swim out to save him. Oh, and it's very plain and simple to then take the liferafts home with you too, isn't it?
Good grief...
