"Ahh... ahh... oooh, yes! Ride me like a nazgul!"
Frieda Leaf grinned dementedly as he sat on the edge of his bed that night, watching a fuzzy 'Elven Fantasies' starring two female elves getting a bit... you know... friendly in the bath tub together.
"Uhh... UHH! Give it to me!"
"Oh yeah, I'll give it to you..." Frieda muttered as he pulled a glove out of his drawer (he had to use a glove because he doesn't wear socks on account of his enormous hairy feet)
"All set for bed, Frieda?"
Frieda shrieked and put a pillow over his lap, trying desperately to turn the TV off. But of course, as soon as you want the TV to turn off more than anything in the world, the batteries run out, the buttons stick or some other stupid thing happens (not that I'd know or anything *nervous giggle*). Frieda looked up at his uncle Dildo and smiled innocently.
"Yeah I am, thanks."
"What are you watching?"
"Oh! Erm, just a-um- documentary on... Balrogs! Yeah... but the erm... receptions all scrambled, I can't hear the-"
"AHH! AHH!! HARDER!!!"
Frieda blushed and didn't look his uncle in the eye as Dildo turned and frowned at him.
"Frieda, why is the balrog having an orgasm?"
"Um..."
"You're trying to watch illegal channels, aren't you?"
"No! No, they're not illegal! I just haven't paid for them..."
Dildo sighed. "Give me the remote... NOW."
They wrestled for a few minutes, unaware that their gardener, Samwise Ganjaleaf, was watching from his bedroom window with his own glove at hand...
Dildo finally managed to pin Frieda to the floor. "Haha!" He said triumphantly. "Now I have y-" he stopped laughing and looked pretty horrified. "F- Frieda?"
"Yes?"
"Why tdo you have six penises?"
"What?!"
"Why are your penises tickling me?"
Frieda looked down and felt a surge of terror run through him... He still had his glove on.
"Um... because... they... like you?"