All week the silly people inside my television would not stop talking about the impending snow doom that was about to be forced down upon us all. Wednesday, apparently, was to be the coldest, snowiest day in the history of the world....

I woke up Wednesday morning and there was the teeniest tiniest sliver of snow on the ground ever. I don't think it even counted as snow. It was like....um....

Anyway, school was even more bleak with immature people trying to make snowballs out of this...whatever it was. I've always hated Wednesdays. I have English, Science, Maths, French and ICT in that order. But add to that, the disappointment of hardly any snow and idiot boys running about everywhere throwing snow at each other...

But then... something snapped during ICT and I went into my super-saiyan hyper mode once more. Now, I guess I should explain... Recently, I've been dancing to show my emotions. For example, if somebody gives me like a chewing gum or something, I do a thank you dance in their honour. If somebody tells me they're feeling sick or something, I do a sympathy dance and so on. My dances have a bad effect on people. For example, when my stepdad said I could have the last bagel, I did a happy thank you dance for him and he actually joined in which was scary but fun because we were both just sort of dancing very crazily in the kitchen together.

Um anyway... yes so, I sent everybody I know an email saying something odd. While Bekky had gone to the toilet, I secretly went on her computer and sent an email to Jade from her account saying "I love Mr Fielding" MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Right, enough of the childish details, soon after that I fell off my chair. I'm beginning to think chairs are not my friends. Just read the story about the three legged chair and you'll know what I mean. Last week, Bekky pushed me off my chair for drawing a picture of her as a game show host and in one swift motion, I fell, crashed and rolled under the desk, giggling like some sort of giggling thing that enjoys giggling. Anyway, this week, April tapped me on the shoulder and instead of turning around like a normal person, I sort of did a back bend thing so my head was on her lap. I am not sure why I did this but as soon as I did do it, I knew I shouldn't have because April put her hands around my neck (being the delightful friend that she is) and pushed me until I fell off my chair. April laughed at me. Bekky laughed at me. Hannah laughed at me. Several other people in the class who I don't know (like I've said many a time before, I don't like people) also laughed at me. Tom actually got up and ran all the way from the other side of the classroom just so he could laugh at me. I got back up and got back on the computer to email some more people. Soon, Mr Khan came over and instead of getting back to some work quickly before he noticed me on the interent, I just sort of sat there and shrieked at him very loudly. This, by the way, wasn't a Shiznay Day, this was just an ordinary day.

But the ultimate, the ULTIMATE in idiocy, was when I was desperate for some sort of minty refreshment (I like mints) and April revealed that she had some polos. I asked for one and she gave me one and I ate it. I asked her for another one and she gave me another one and I ate it. This process was repeated a few times before April got bored and refused to give me another one. I whined for several hours (slight exaggeration) and then, as a last desperate attempt for the minty goodness I so desired... I offered to do a dance. April liked this idea very much so I rose to my feet in the middle of the room and danced a minty dance of doom. With a big happy smile April gave me my polo and I ate it.... I asked for another one.

She said she would only give me another one if I did the dance in front of Tom. I refused. I already make a fool of myself in front of him enough as it is, dancing would just make things so worse. Minutes passed and the great menthol withdrawal began to have an effect on me. I writhed around in pain in my chair, making several strange noises (we don't have Miss McBaldLady anymore so you can get away with stuff like this). And then, yhghghghyyhgyhh sorry I got some garlic bread crumbs in between the keys and was trying to get them out. Anyway yeah, and then, I made the biggest mistake of my life...

I stood up once more and began the most terrifying dance ever, a dance that I can't even bring myself to name. I shall describe it for you though. I performed moves that take such skill and dexterity that only me and several buddhist monks know how to perform them. I raised my arms up and down while kicking in the air like one of those scary can-can dancers. I also bent my back like a lil old man and put on a happy face for that extra little effect. April loved it and said I could have lots of polos if I did it for a whole minute. I was quite happy to do this- it was quite an enjoyable little dance- but halfway through the minute I noticed that our teacher, Mr Khan, was watching me...

"Can you sit down please?" he asked.
"I can't," I replied embaressedly (is that a word?) as I continued my dance.
"Why not?"
"I've got about 20 seconds to go!"

I carried on dancing and he carried on watching me which was scary and then, with just seconds to go, just when my future was looking bright and minty....

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

WHY DID HE HAVE TO TURN AROUND?!

I shrieked and sat back down. April gave me one polo, one measly polo for freaking out at the end, while Tom laughed at me and mocked my dance of wonder.

As if things couldn't get any worse, as soon as school ended and I began to walk home with Terri... IT BEGAN TO SNOW!!!! While we're inside the school, it's all bright and sunny but as soon as we attemtp to walk home, it turns into an ice age. And what's worse is that me and Terri were walking INTO the wind so all this snow was blowing into our faces. For some reason, we found this incredibly painful and yet hilarious at the same time. Here is a reenactment of the scene....

(NOTE: Actors have been used to protect the identities of the victims)

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T SEE A THING!!!!"
"IT'S BURNING MY EYES! HEEHEEHOOHAHA!!!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!! HAHAHA!!!"
"MY FLESH IS DISSOLVING! MY FLESH IS DISSOLVING! YAY!!!!! HEEEHEEHEHEHEHOOHOO!!!!"

We had to walk backwards to avoid further loss of skin layers. Luckily, we didn't have to worry about people giving us weird looks because everybody else around us was also suffering from snow blindness. Soon, it began to slow down and we turned back around. We looked up at the snow, falling gently from the sky.

"It looks so pretty..." I smiled.
"Yeah," Terri agreed.

And then...

"AGH, SHIT!!! IT WENT IN MY EYES! IT WENT IN MY EYES!"

Nothing lasts forever.

My eyes began to water from the cold and I was scared they were going to freeze over. Just as we neared my house, some idiotic little boy threw a snowball at terri's back and we both yelled at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Stop being stupid!"
"If a single snowball hits me again, I shall beat the child who threw it.
"We're getting enough snow intake as it is!"
Eventually, my journey through the blizzard came to an end... Terri had another ten minutes to go... HEEHEEHOOHAAHAA!!! Sorry that was really mean... oh wait, I don't care! YAY! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

Um anyway, as soon as ten minutes had passed, the snow stopped. So I'm guessing that as soon as Terri had entered her house it had stopped.

Now THAT'S irony!!!!!

The next day, school was cancelled because of the snow and I did a happy snow day dance and finished writing this story... Then I ate a bagel. I think I'm going to make a snowman in a bit. YAY! *dances*