"Hey Rach?" asked Judy.
"Yeah?" Rachel said, still glued to her comic book.
"Shouldn't our cell have blown up by now?"
Rachel sighed as she turned over a page. "That's not going to happen..."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm in charge of this story and if I go down, I'm taking you guys with me..."
"Fine," Jessica puted. "But I must warn you, we can be VERY annoying..."
"Hmm..." Rachel said, not really caring.

Judy began to poke her through the bars of her cell with the bone. Jessica began to talk about how much she loved tourism. But Laura... Laura began to do the one thing that was guaranteed to drive Rachel crazy (more so than usual, that is)...
She began to whistle... (The last time Rachel heard whistling, her mother was shot down by a hunter)

Rachel screamed and snatched the bone off Judy. She crawled to the front of her cell and waved it to the dog.
"Come on, doggy. Come on, boy!" She smiled as the dog walked towards her. "That's it, good boy! Come on! Bit closer, bit closer. That's it, doggy. Come on, you filthy slimy mangy cad-"
There was a crash from upstairs and the dog ran away.
"No,no,no,no,no, I didn't mean it!" Rcahel pleaded. "I didn't-"
Judy, Jessica and Laura were rolling on the floor laughing. It wasn't until the prison guard was thrown down the stairs and two Plank Walkers entered that they fell silent.

One of these Walkers was called Stacey and she was tall with long dark brown hair and a very fat face. The other was called Carlie and she had pointed face with impossibly straight blonde hair and annoyingly bright blue eyes.

"This ain't the armory!" Carlie snapped.
But Stacey had noticed Rachel and walked towards her cell, smirking. "Well, well, well, look what we have here, Carlie- Captain Rachel Gosling..."
Carlie spat at Rachel's feet. "Last time I saw you, you were all alone on a godforsaken island, trapped underneath a filing cabinet, shrinking into the distance..." she looked up at Stacey and laughed. "Her fortunes haven't improved much."
"Worry about your own fortunes, ladies," Rachel muttered. "The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers."
Stacey growled and seized Rachel's throat. "You know nothing of Hell..." she snarled. (Which is most incorret- Rachel worked at a theme park for seven years)
They both left without another word. Judy, jessica and Laura stared wide-eyed at Rachel for an explanation but Rachel simply raised an eyebrow and looked down at the bone in her hand.
"That's very interesting..." she said softly.

Terri and Medusa sat on either side of Orlando as the Plank Walker rowed back to their ship. All the girls grinned menacingly as Orlando was hauled aboard. One of them- a girl of similar appearance to Rachel except older, thinner and moodier- stepepd forward. This was Rachel's evil traitorous sister- Katie Gosling.
"I didn't know we were takin' on captives." she grunted.
"Duh!" One of the other girls shouted. "That's Orlando Bloom, you idiot!"
"Yeah!" said Terri. "And he's invoked the right of Raleigh with Captain Lilly!"
Orlando stepped towards her. "I am here to negotiate-" He was cut short as Katie backhanded him.
"You speak when spoken to!" She yelled.
Someone suddenly grabbed her wrist. "And ye'll not lay a hand on our precious Orlando Bloom... or anyone under the protection of Raleigh for that matter, Katie..."

The somebody who had spoken was a beautiful girl with pale skin and long raven hair. Her eyes were cold steel and her thin lips were set in a malicious smile. A demented monkey sat on her shoulder and she wore a big, weather-beaten grey hat (the girl did, that is. The monkey just wore an old Barbie dress). Anyways, this girl was Lilly Nicholson, Captain of the Plank Walker.

"Aye Miss..." Katie muttered gruffly before leaving.
Captain Lilly looked up Orlando and her smile widened. "My apologies, sir..."
"Captain Lilly," said Orlando. "I am here to negotaite the cessation of hostilities against Port Really Nice."
The Plank Walkers stared at him blankly.
"Um..." Medusa frowned in confusion. "Was there a speck of English in there?"
Carlie looked up at Stacey. "What did he say, Stace'?"
"Um... I think he wants to be sedated at a hospital in Port Really Nice."
"That is NOT what I said!" orlando shouted. "I want you to leave and never come back!"
"Hmmm..." Captain lilly mused. "How can I put this nicely?... Oh wait, I can't!" She laughed shortly before continuing. "No."
Orlando pouted. "Very well...." He marched to the edge of the boat and hoisted his legs over. "I'm off then."
The Plank Walkers shrieked and ran towards him but Lilly suddenly held them back.
"We've got caves full of celebrity prisoners and you think you really matter to us... why?"
"B-Because I'm what you've been searching for, aren't I?" Orlando stammered. "I'm always being chased by people like you. Even Miss Swann is obsessed with me."
"Really?" Lilly smirked, her brain taking in this new nugget of information.
"Fine," Orlando said boldly. "Well I suppose if I am worthless then there's no point in me staying here..." H made to jump but the Plank Walkers lunged forward and grabbed him.

Captain lilly walked towards him, shuckling. "Who did you just say was obsessed with you?"
"M-Miss Swann..."
Lilly turned to her crew and grinned diabolically. "Miss SWANN..." She repeated.
The Plank Walkers began to mutter amongst themselves.
"Brastrap," Terri whispered excitedly to medusa, who gasped.
"And how close are you to this Miss Swann?" Asked Lilly.
"I-well, I-I'm not going out with her if that's what you mean..."
"Very well, you agree never to see her again and we'll put your town to our rudder and never return..."
Like Rachel, Orlando hesitated before shaking hands.
"Our bargain?" He said, but Captain Lilly suddenly turned on her heel and walked away.
"Still the guns and stow 'em!" Katie ordered to the Plank Walkers. "Let's blow this bird in a, er... in a non-sexual way..."

"Wait!" orlando cried, running after Lilly. "Wait, you have to take me to shore! According to the code of the orde of the brethren-"
Lilly turned back round and faced him. "Firstly," she said, cutting him short. "Your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so i must do nothing. Secondly, you agreed never to see Miss Swann again so technically we're doing you a favour. Thirdly, you must be a pirate, Bloomhead or plagiarist for the code to apply and you're not. And fourthly, the code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules... Welcome aboard the Plank Walker, Orlando Bloom!"