Arwank walked five paces behind her father, Araporn walked five paces behind Arwank. "Unnnnggghhhhh!!!! Unnnnnngggghhhhh!!!!!" Meanwhile downstairs, Elbong is talking to Dildo in his office (just felt the urge to give Elbong an office)...
"I was being selfish!" he pleaded. "And vain and majorly insensitive. I'm a total idiot."
"I think 'shithead' really says it,"
"Yes!" said Araporn. "I'm a shithead! If there was a competition for shittiest head, I'd win it!"
Arwank smiled.
"And I wanna make it up to you..." Araporn continued.
Arwank stopped walking and turned to him. "Oh yeah... how?"
"Arwank shut up! Your Dad'll hear us and he hates me just because my great great grandad or whatever didn't do what he asked him to."
"Araporn, stop rambling! Get back down there!"
"Right... just a sec." He knelt down at the foot of the bed and consulted the Bible. He was at a page called "The Tongue Tornado" He read a few lines, pulled out a breathmint and carried on with his job.
"Nnnnnnnn.... nnnnngghhhhh.... HOLY SHIT!!!"
"Keep it down! Youknow there's no lock on your door! Why couldn't we have done this at my house?"
"You don't have a house, you hang around Hobbiton pubs harassing little hobbits! Besides, Rivenhell is so much more romantic..."
Yes, I can really see how licking out your girlfriend with help from an ancient sex manual is romantic... whatever happened to good old holding hands? (says the girl who gets off with guys while her best friend is sitting in her lap)
"So... where exactly did you find this Bong?" Elbong asked.
Dildo sighed. "I told you... I found it in the Rather Unpleasant Mountains!"
"And what were you doing there?"
"I was treasure hunting!"
Elbong gave him a strange look. "Um... have you been using this Bong already, Dildo?"
"No! I'm supposed to go treasure hunting! Jeez, haven't you read 'The Hobbit'?"
"No... and don't use product placement when we're not getting paid for it!"
