::::T:h:e:::C:o:n:f:u:s:i:o:n:::T:h:a:t:::I:s:::M:e::::

::::K:n:o:w:n:::A:s:::: Saz/Sar/Sez/Sezzie/Pear

::::B:o:r:n:::: 1984

::::D:e:s:c:r:i:p:t:i:o:n:::: hair: longish brunette, eyes:dirty green, 5'2,size 8, piercings:earlobes x 4,scaffold, belly button, nipples.

::::W:a:n:t:s::::To be everything im not, to stay just as i am, to just be happy.

::::Stuff::::
PAST:Sparkly unique child, on/off depression aged 13-present inc self harm n attempted suicide. Many jobs, only one of which i liked, no real friends after school until sept03. PRESENT: In an ok job at the moment which im hating cuz of the bloody horrible manager, trying to get something else! Hating being single but glad of friends and family. Lookinh forward to 1st family holiday in 9yrs on 13/6/04! FUTURE:career, flat,car! Tattoos. Visit/emigrate to Australia.

::::L:i:k:e:s:::: Music-alternative/rock/grunge/punk/ska (see below for extensive list!)

people:greebos/goths, Kurt cobain, Courtney Love, Shirley Manson, Katie Jane Garside, Brody Armstrong, Denny n Shaz from Bad Girls, Willow and Faith from Buffy

Colours: purple, black, pink, silver

Aniamls: tigers, kittens

Food stuff: chocolate, coffee, herbal tea

Shoes: new rocks, converse, vans, dc's

Cartoony people: emily strange, hello kitty, daria, jane n trent lane, sally from the nightmare before christmas

Tv: buffy, bad girls, as if, daria, jackass

Film's: Tim Burton, esp the nightmare before Christmas and Edward Scissor hands. Author:Poppy Z Brite (Lost Souls is my fave ever book)

Shops: Another World, Rowfers, Penny Farthing, Yoyo, The Oasis, Ann Summers,Metro Fox

Cultures: goth, fetish, individuality

Gig venues: Birmingham Academy

::::D:i:s:l:i:k:e:s:::: nasty people-townies, superiority, school , lazy students, mornings, animal cruelty,narrow mindedness, pop music, being social.

::::B:a:n:d:s:::i:m:::i:n:t:o:::: less than jake >> garbage >> the beatles >>jimmy eat world >> green day >> the rolling stones >>feeder >> american hi fi >> the vines >> the sex pistols >> hoobastank >> incubus >> me first & the gimme gimmes >> muse >> lostprophets >> the fucking champs >> hole >> nirvana >> weezer >> box car racer >> reel big fish >> ash >> placebo >> jesse james >> queen adreena >> guided by voices >> the distillers >> king adora >> elastica >> the datsuns >> violent delight >> the libertines >> alkaline trio >> afi>> funeral for a friend >> hifh >> instruction >> sugarcult >> yeah yeah yeahs >>ok go >> hot hot heat>>blink 182>>auf der maur>>finch

Personality:
bright, funny, sarcastic, witty, talkative, bitchy, oblivious, giggly, generous, creative, friendly, depressed, dark, twisted, broken, empty, scarred, hurt, anti social, quiet, bitter, vulnerable, self hating, nothing.

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I love Kurt Cobain, read his biography people : ) Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it's my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins. It doesn't affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you. Any of you. It simply isn't fair to you, or me. The worst crime can think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as if I'm having one 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me, I do, but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours, I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music. But I still can't get out the frustration, the guilt, and the empathy I have for everybody. There is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man! why don't you just enjoy it? I dont know. I have a godess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy, and a daughter who reminds me to much of what I use to be. full of love and joy, every person she meets because everyone she meets is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I cant stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self destructive, deathrocker that i've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Empathy!Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you from the pit of my burning nauseas stomach for your letters and concern during the last years. I'm too much of a erratic moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, so remember, it's better to burn out, than fade away. Peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain. Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney for Frances for her life which will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!

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