Day 1,
Arrived in Rivendell. Listened to a bunch of freaks rant about evil ring of power. Accepted a very important mission to follow little man to volcano and throw ring in it… Tatatatan! Am definitly the sexiest member of fellowship. Oh! And bought some Pantene Pro-V. Only 13 days till my hair is silky smooth! And did I catch the eye of that cute DJ? Sorry, those Kotex commercials are getting to me…
--Legolas

Day 2,
Packed up all of my stuff for the journey. Elrond gave me a pretty wooden box! I put all of my jeweled brushes in it...just in case there is a strong wind. 12 days till my hair is silky smooth! Still the prettiest.
--Legolas

Day 3,
Fellowship ready to leave for the journey. God damn exhausting day. Had to walk all along and watch Boromir’s greasy head all day. Guess I should lend him my Pantene Pro-V.
Feet now hurting like hell and elf eye fading. Need bath, massage and mudd mask. And more! Forgot my goldbond! Boromir did offer me a massage but was just freaked out. Think he is hitting on me. Anyways… 11 days till I get shiny locks!
--Legolas

Day 4,
Climbed up Caradhras but wimpy humans who cannot walk on snow insisted we climb back down. Frodo couldn’t stop starring at the ring and has a spaz attack claiming that the eye of Sauron was checking him out. Oh well… 10 days more till my hair is silky smooth! And still the sexiest babe of the fellowship by far!
--Legolas

Day 5,
Arrived at Moria. Too dark and spooky in there to brush hair properly. Am beginning to fear I am developping a tangle… Frodo was attacked by some huge octopus. As usual I was the only useful person there and the thing ran away, scared to death. GO ME! 9 days till my hair
--Legolas

Day 6,
Great! We’re lost! Thanks to Gandalf who started Alzheimer recently and FORGOT to tell us about it. Frodo is oficially turned mad. Sees things following him. He is so self-conscious. Why would anyone follow him? It’s probably the groopie I got a letter from yesterday. Got threats of damaging my wonderful hair if I didn’t kiss her when she came. Living in fear since then. 8 days more to wait for perfect hair if still has it. Our father, who arts in heaven,…
--Legolas

Day 7,
Oh shit… Frodo’s not dead yet… Thoughts of killing him myself, take the ring and put it in my hair… Well what? It’s working for him! Frodo is in competition with me now for the hottest fart of the gang! His hair are getting shinier every day!
Changing subjects, I am the best warrior ever! Tataaaaan! I killed the troll, I defeated most of the orcs there and I’m the king of the elves! I’m so good and in 7 days I’ll be even prettier!
--Legolas

Day 8,
A Balrog chased after us! Not even scary… But Merry almost pied his pants. Anyways, we finally got out of this cave where I got to brush my hair in free air again! Gandalf also fell into darkness… And that’s it! Only 6 more days to wait till my hair is silky smooth!
--Legolas

Day 9,
Just arrived in Lothlorien. Am beginning to suspect that Galadriel might be prettier than me… Oh! And that bitch copied my hairstyle! Took a nice bubble bath in her magic mirrored fountain which she didn’t particularly enjoyed. She spoke to me in my head telling me she wanted to show me how to really handle my bow. It wasn’t really what I expected… 5 days till my hair is completely silky smooth.
--Legolas

Day 10,
Still in Lothlorien. Elrond’s granny can’t stop checking me out. She’s too old… She’s probably wearing a push up bra under her white silky dress. I want something firm like Gimli’s. Mmmmmmm! Bosom… I think my hair is getting smoother! Still the sexiest bitch ever.
--Legolas

Day 11,
Finally left Lothlorien! Am so glad cause I was surrounded by freaks obsessed with their hair and the smallest friz… Am thinking my separation is not right! And my breads suddenly began undoing! A supernatural power is at force if you ask me… Was in boat with Gimli. Nearly drowned myself at least three times because he’s a big fat freak sitting on a peace of wood. Am so happy: 3 more days to wait for my shiny dreads!
--Legolas