Running With Scissors

Back to


December 28,2004

Hey guys.
Life's kinda boring right now. Cutie Starbucks 'couldn't show' on last week's movie night. I'm sure Kevin never asked him... well that's Kevin for you.
So tonight, we're all going out on the town. Soposidly cutie starbucks is coming ot tag along. We'll see huh?
I'm at work. I'm sleepy.
Last night, the worst thing that could happen to a writer like my self happened. the disk I was keeping my 15 page unfinished story got messed up. I had backed it up on a computer, but the last 3 pages are now gone. I'm so pissed. Hopefully , I'll remember most of it and get it typed back down. But it just makes me mad hat we have all this technology and it screws us over, every time.
Maybe I'll put that story up on here...
like anyone staysin here long enough to read my up and comming novel.
I'll be famous some day. just wait...

December 15,2004

OMG!!!! I LOVE YOU KEVIN!!!! Kevin just asked Cutie starbucks, aka Colter, to go see Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events. HE SAID HE WOULD!!! Yeah!! SNOOPY DANCE!
:) :) :) :) :)

Hey guys.. Ruby is still all out of whack. It's snowing. It's finals week. Could it get any worse?

December 14,2004

Hey guys.. today sucked. The alternator thingy(it's what charges the battery when you're driving) has quit working on my car. So this morning, I drove into town, and the car stalled as I got into a turn lane. So for a good 6 green, yellow and red lights, I was dead in the water. Kevin and my dad came to the rescue and gave me a jump(My dad strattled the median in his jeep wrangler. Kevin was mostly moral support and a witness.), and that gave me just enough juice to bairly get into the parking lot.
Yeah, that sucked. But thats not all!!
Finals start tomarrow. Whoopie!
In other news, I'm still trying to real in Cutie Starbucks. I think he is picking up on the subtle smiles and extra sweet voice I have only for him, and any day now, he's going to ask me to marry him. Well, I mean, how would flirting work any other way? I wonder what his last name is? His first name is Colter... he's a biscut, maybe even a buttery enclair*... I also have a friend who is going to give him a picture of me with my numbers and name on it. So it's going good.

*for those who have no idea why I'm comparing a georgouse boy to paisteries, read I was a Teenage Fairy by Franchesca Lia Block.

December 6,2004

Mmmm.. my coffee boy at Starbucks... he is so cute! He's blong and had nice eyes and makes killer drinks. And my spy, Kevin, has been hunching that he digs me too... Life is good.

November 19,2004

Well. Today sucked.
I feel run over.
I'm upset with Kevin.
I need a real friend. Someone just to myself.
I guess I need to get out of here. I'm ready to be gone. So ready.

November 17,2004

If you want to do something to make a person feel great, give them a hug. Just an unexpected hug. It'll catch them off gaurd, make them smile and wonder the rest of the day. I received a hug today, from a guy friend of mine.
You see, I left Ruby's lights on.. kinda... I didn't turn the switch off all the way I guess. So I told him my battery died and he got all "do you need any help?" and I told him my friend had already offered me a jump... (he has eairly release.. and I don't, so he would of had to hang around for almost two hours for the last class to end if he wanted to start my car) so that right there was a definite wow factor... since I don't really know him that well.
Then, jusy out of the blue, he hugged me... :)
I overheard his friends asking him why he hugged me and he simply answered them "she's having a bad day." What a great guy...

Well anyways... Ruby did start after school, even though she wouldn't at lunch.
And they chivalry is dead....

November 11,2004

As some simple advice, don't read the ingredients on you beloved fruit pie wrapper. Yes, I know that it ain't healthy but I picked my vices carefully, and I have it narrowed down to everything that tastes good. One of the ingredients in those delicious fruit pies is beef fat. No joke. Go to your friendly conveince store and check the hostess cherry fruit pie ingredients.
I hate it here. I want to get out to college. I want to be new again and this time actually considered by the boys.

October 25,2004

I've never had dreams about the guys I've had crushes on before. Ok, there have been a few, but never more than once does a guy star in my dream. But this guy I have a quiet thing for right now is different. I've had two or three dreams about dating him.
What does this mean?
It's almost Halloween! Yeah! I'm going to be a fairy again. I'll post pictures on here. It'll be cool. bye ya'll

October 20,2004

I got my own damn jolly ranchers.
I've decided this is why I don't date. I rely on myself too much. And now, I don't find the need to fill that 'empty' space with a boy because I have filled it due to the 17 years of neglegt I received from boys.
I'm feeling a little lightheaded right now, guys. I don't know why. And I just got the urge to punch the computer screen at work. (Don't worry, I won't do that. I like my job.)
well I gues that's all!

October 19,2004

Oh sigh... life is so dull right now.
I'm constantly getting in fights with Kevin. He so involved with this dude he's dating that works at Pizza Hut with him. I lent him some money and hewon't pay me back. I told him all debts would be repaid if he bought me a bag of jolly ranchers, which are what I just happened to be addicted to at the moment. And he told me he had them in his car. Then he got all pissy whe nI came up a dollar short for lunch. Well, he lied. I'm not mad that he didn't bring me candy (how immature would that be?), it's just he lied to me. He lies to me a lot. And I hate that.
There's not a lot I expect from my friends, but truthfulness is one of them. I can't look at you and respect you if you lie to me when the truth would be better.
I detest being mad at a friend. There's not enough time to waste in our lives to quarrel. And yet so many choose to take out the problems in their lives on their best friends by trying te degrade them.
Not Cool.

October 1,2004

We all stood on the sidewalk and watched with defeat as the parade went by. THe only solice for us seniors was to yell offenses when the Junior class attendents for homecoming.Once again, those damn Juniors act selfishly and steal the seniors glory. it's our last year, and all the seniors ask it win the spirit stick. Those bastards...

September 29,2004

life sucks right now. I mean really sucks.
4-H sucks. my love life sucks, as always. my lack of popularity sucks. My car won't work, which sucks. I don't think it could suck any worse, well actually, I could die of extreme virginity, or have a boob on my forhead.

September 27,2004

Girl, 17, good looking but insane, looking for charming puppy like boy, preferable with shaggy hair and beautiful eyes to play music to her and what follows naturally.
hey guys.. I'm thinking of taking a perasonal ad in the newspaper. how do ya think it's going so far?
homecoming is this week, woo!! I'm finally a senior and it Rocks!
I'm mildly in love now. My heart has been stolen by a sweet and puppydog cute hunka hunka burning love.
so yeah.. I guess that's all my senioritus will permit me to concentrate on :)

September 17,2004

I just love those big burly hunky guys that you think would be big bullies or jerky jocks but actually are just real big puppies. There's one in particular, of which I melt inside when I see him. He doesn't know I like him. Well, at least I don't think he does. I'm scared, I guess, of vocalizing my affection to a guy. Rejection and all... I know, I know, I should just go out there and tell all, The Poet tells me this all the time. Like it's easy to just walk up to the unsuspecting guy and tell him I've been pineing over him for ages now, and this very moment I wanted to tell him how I feel. This, of course, is followed by a gushy movie kiss. And then reality would kick in and the new administration would burst in and make a 3 foot gap in between us.
Damn, high school sucks.

September 15,2004

Hey ya'll. I'm having a meloncholie epiphanie. Two big words. For those of us who don't use words bigger than dog (Nikki, lol), it pretty much means I'm feeling sad and distant and I've have an earth shattering thought. -ish. Well anyways, I'm feeling kinda sad. Like always. And I'm thinking about how my life got so messed up. 17, never been kissed or dated. I've been to another country, and the closest I'v been to drunk is a glass of wine at Christmas. I think I can pinpoint the exact moment where things went astray. I was probably in the 7th grade, and this guy, Rod, hung out with us at lunch. He had a thing for me, I think, but we all thought he was gay. He ended up transfering schools. He was really cute. If I had dated him, instead of poking fun of him, I would be a normal teen. Well, that's my theory, anyways.
I guess I just wish I could get out of this holding pattern I'm in right now. School, 4-H, a few friends here or there, and me pineing away for a boy I know will never ask me out. I know I could very well ask a boy out and presto, be a normal teen kissing and having sex and throwing away my morals, but dang, I don't want all of that! I just want to be close to normal.
I mean, I have had to grow up so fast. Adults love it because "I'm so mature and such and such". And kids my age hate it because "I act like I'm way too good for them." It's a lose-lose situation.
so there's is my pitty party for the day....

September 13,2004

So yeah. I'm sick right now. And I'm definitly not enjoying it.
First it was the soar throat, now it's the runny nose on over drive. I swear, I almost drowned in my sleep last night.

September 4,2004

Well hey guys.
I should be doing my home work right now, but, ehh... It's a 3 day weekend. I have started my love list again...
My Favorite Little Martain is still on there, This guy in my foods class (He has nice eyes), the dark and mysterious guy in my English class, The Happy go Lucky guy who's locker is near mine (a big swoon), Another guy from my english class that is a real smartass, but oh oh he is cute, Slacker guy from my spanish class(But that's more of a friendly attrraction), and the shaggy hair guy that I have in sociology class. Oh and the Creepster Chunster, and The Poet(but that's a crush will absolutly go nowhere. I guess it's more a friendship thing. But I would never try to fall in love with his and let him know it, because we all know how that went last tike I tried that. He took my heart and used it for target practice.)
I say 'list' because they will probally stay as these stupid crushes. Unless one of them takes the action and asks me out.
Kevin is trying to act very boyfriend like, and that's not good since he is gay and all. I think he is giving all my crushes the impression that I belong to him. And I don't. Ok, actually, I keep going back and adding to that list up there, I think I like about half the boys I know. Am I desperate or what?
I guess when you've been single as long as I have(All my 17 years), you don't get picky.

August 28,2004

School started. I missed the first two days because of the State Fair. we didin't even make the sift ('The sift' means 10th place and above) but I did get to see a friend from the state 4-h functions I go to.
His name is Jon, but we gave him the nickname of 'The Creapster Chunkster'. Mostly because he was led to beleive that Stacey liked him in the 'let's date for just this weekend' kinda thing. But she didn't, I had to lie to cover her ass, (I told him she went home sick.) Yeah O know it's a lame lie, but she was on the phone with Tater-Head and I panicked.
It's funny how the other girls I go to the 4-H things with can always find a date, even if they have a hunny back home, But I can't find at home or away!
Poo for me huh?
But it's down right hilarious when we go the these things with 4-H. Over the past year, Liz n' Stacey have been through almost all of the Colorado boys. There's this one guy, Shawn, that Liz used to hang all over. But she hung all over several different guys as well, which broke our poor Shawn's heart. So he doesn't talk to Liz any more, but he'll talk to Stacey and I. But then there's Jon (aka 'The Creapster Chunkster') Who flirted with Stacey at one of these functions. She had a boyfriend and I did the whole lying thing and now he's pretty pissed at Stacey. But Liz and I hang out with him all the time at these things. And Liz n' Stacey, who used to be the best of friends, now hate each other.
So that leaves me. Liz and Stacey have pretty much given our county the reputation that all the girls flirt around and treat boys like shit. So I think maybe I got thrown under that catagory as well, even though I havn't even had a boyfriend to speak of. Those girls really make me made sometimes.

Mmmm... Apple Juice...

I really wouldn't mind if any of the guys that the Flirty 2 have used and abused would take a liking to me. Most of them are really funny, nice, smart, and not to mention single.
But I guess I'm not really the 'Date Me' type, as so many people have called me. I could ask then to dance a zillion times and theay still woulsn't get he hint that I was madly in love with them.

well, That's all my time!

August 15,2004

Today has been crazy. It started out with an open house, where I was wearing a dress. Ok, so it wasn't a full on formal outfit, it was a demin skirt. But still.. that's a lot for me. So after that we went to this kinda- wedding party thing. (You see, they got hitched in Mexico, but wanted anybody that couldn't be there to have a chance for gifts and such. So then, after it was all done and I had gorged myself on cake, we left.
Now ya'll have to understand that that skirt was a little tight, and slit in the front. I jumped into my car, and hear a tell tale ri-ip. The slit in the front, which was about 6 inches,(the dress goes a litle past my knees)went to about a 15 inch rip. Thank goodness we went straight home..
So I guess that wasn't so bad. But it was bad for me, I don't have another skirt!

August 13,2004

Today is National Lefty Day. A day to celebrate left handers around the world. Today we are not backwards, or goofy. We are Cool! We are Celebrated! We can use the mouse and write at the same time! We are artists, we are singers, we are special!
Lefties Are Sexy
Marry a lefty and you'll always be having fun.

August 7,2004

Kevin woke me up this morning. At 1 am. Why, you ask. Well he's in love. And love makes you call your best friend in the middle of the night asking her to send so and so a good picture of you before 10 am.
At least one of us is getting the guy.
I reading 'White Oleander' again. I was reading this book when I met The Poet. It's abou this girl who's poet mother gets dumped so she kills the guy. Then the girl gets put in a bunch of foster homes while her mother is in jail. You've probably seen the movie.
Ya know, The Poet isn't really a poet. He hardlt writes any poetry, he's an essay kinda guy. Yes, essay. What he calls an essay, I call a short story. But he speaks so smooth and his words have a fliud movement about them. When we chat on AIM, or MSN, I just picture his words gliding like water.

August 6,2004

I'm feeling a little meloncholie tonight. I guess I feel like this a lot. It just seems like I never get a break... I'm tires of complaining about this whole thing-my life. I'm really tired of everything, not fitting in, never being in love, JUST EVERYTHING. If killing myself would fix things, I'd give it a try. But that wouldn't do anything, it would just hurt and make me completly drop off the planet.
I wonder who would come to my funeral... You may think it's morbid, but I condsider who my friends are like that. I mean.. they are a true friend if they come to your funeral. Sometimes I wish I could have a fake death, so I could see who shows up to my funeral. And the things you hear..
'She was so pretty... I should of asked her out.', 'I should of told her how much she ment to me', 'I'm getting her room!'
That would be the point where I would "wake up". lol.
well... I guess I should go...

August 5,2004

I got a new phone yesterday..
I didn't need a new phone. I didn't want a new phone. In fact, I like my old phone much better. So why did my mother spend money we don't really have on 4 new cell phones? Ther was a sale.
You see, my mom lost her cell phone. So she needed to get a new one. I didn't lose my phone. I liked my phone. This new phone sucks...
Yeah, that's right, I'm ungrateful. And a mean bitch, too.

August 3,2004

It seems like no matter what anyone says to me, I still get this incredibly lonely feeling inside that just won't go away. I've never been in love. And just the idea of never being held in a guys strong arms brings this bottomless pain to my heart. I've been alone for so long... I think maybe I've grown a defence against love. I put up a wall. Only one person has torn down that wall, leaving me exposed to the big bad world of hurt and depression. It was The Poet. And I still havn't realy recovered from the blow I recieved after 'letting him in my heart', as he would have put it. My wall is surounded with a big brick wall. And he took it down, brick by brick, gaining my trust. And then he just left. Letting the cold wind of rejecting blow right through. But I've got my wall up again. And it's going to be harder to take down. I know I need to just rip it down myself, but here, in my fortress, I am safe. If no one can get in, I can't get hurt.
But I wouldn't mind getting hurt, if it brought some some and tenderness with it for a while.

I don't know anymore what I want.

July 24,2004

Well... wow. This still sucks. I'm thinking about lowering my pride to apologise to The Poet. But you know what? It's not all my fault. It seems like he think s I'm the one that screwed everything up. And I guess I did. I should of never fell for him. That was my big mistake. I probebly shoudn't of even talked to him in the first place. That would of prevented all of this from leading to me sitting here feeling shitty about something I did/said/thought/felt. I don't think I could fix it even if I did try to. there's a rift between me and him. and no matter how muc hwe both might want it, a friendship like we had is going to be hard to find.

July 23,2004

Damnit! Does The Poet just enjoy torturing me? I was over him! I had moved on. I hadn't felt stupid and ashamed and rejected and extremly sad because of my whole likeing him and then realizing he didn't like me back. I mean I really, really liked him. I hadn't felt like that before, like being myself was alright. And then to take all that away, It just leaves this big metallic I'm-about-to-cry feeling in my throat. And big butterflies bang inside my gut.
So yeah, The Poet decided to chat with me last night about my screen name 'Sometimes, it's easier to hate you'. It was directed to him, because hating him had made those broken heart feelings go away. But instead of telling him how I felt, like I usually do, I lashed out at him like a wounded animal. I told him I didn't want to be his frind anymore, that I didn't care.
But the part that tearing me up today is that I do want to be his friend. I miss chatting with him. He made me feel safe while being myself.
And I don't know if he'll ever forgive me. I've messed up big time.
And now that horrible feeling is back in my throat, and the butterflies are hammering away. I just want to go back to before I realized he didn't like me the way I liked him. Before I felt rejected and betrayed by someone I trusted. Before everthing got complicated and I got bitter. I wish things would just start over.
But that's not how time works is it?

July 17,2004

::sigh:: Another Saturday wasted at work... But while everybody else in 4-H is cleaning up the County Fair grounds, I get to munch on cerial and sip apple juice all day. I guess it's a good trade off. I don't get paint all over myself, and my boss gets the day of while I bum around. I wounder what My boss would do if I showed up in my pjs? I might have to try that one day.
Last Sunday we (Kevin, Liz, Kevins two cousins: Nick and Danelle and I) went to the colorado renassaince festival. I had these fake hornes tied with string on my head. I got called the 'horny girl'. It happenes every year. We had a blast! we all got henna tattoos. I'll put a picture up in here if I ever think of it when I'm actually at home. Liz and I dressed up, she was a fairy, I was the horny girl in a white pesant top and a grey dress. You should of seen us when we went to back to the real world for dinner at the Californian Pizza Kitchen. We got stares from drunken pizza eater and the waitors/waitresses.
Alright guys. I'm ready for love. I want to fall in love. This being single stuff is no good. It's like guys think I'm attractive, flit with me, but never go that extra step. Guys!!! Do I have a 'Don't Date Me' sign above my head? Because it should say 'I'll be an awesome girlfrind'.
Well I'm done with today's chat

July 8,2004

well, well, well...
Today is my dad's birthday... so guess what gift he's getting from me? This should be easy to guess since I work in a balloon shop and get a 10% discont. He's getting $20 worth of balloons. And a bag of hershey's kisses... I hope he likes chocolate... I think he does.. I'm a bad daughter.. I know.
I guess my place of employment is more of a window shoper thing. Because people look in while walking by, but never seem to come inside. Which is fine by me, I getting paid still... whether or not I sell anything. I get a lot of reading time in, though. and I found a cool new web site... I'll put it on my home page.
Well, I guess I should do something else now...
so, Ta!

July 7,2004

Has anybody else noticed that the word 'friend' has the word end in it. I think this means all friendships have to end.
P.S. I found my cds.

July 3,2004

So I've been working again.. it's been slow. The highlight of my day was going to lunch.
I've managed to lose my entire cd collection in one fell swoop. My Cd case, which fits 100 cds- that's roughly $1500 worth of music, is MIA. This is no good.. it's ok, because I have a new switchfoot cd to listen to, but all my cds! I have to find them!!!!

July 1,2004

My my, it has been a long time since I've been in here. Well I am officially not speaking with The Poet. My gay friend and I are always hanging out, watching movies and such. I went to Colorado State 4-H Conference and saw all my friends. I even stole a cute boy's shirt. He' soposed to email with his mailing address so I can give it back... but I havn't been email yet. But I have grown fond of his shirt... he may never see it again.
::Evil laughter here::
I've been on the Switchfoot listening thing lately. "this is your life, are you who you want to be?" They are stuck in my mind.
I have a job now, in a balloon shop. I'm actually at work right now...
Well I better look busy now.
See ya later!

March 31,2004

Oh My Goodness. This week has been mind boggeling. My frind is having a baby. I still can not believe that my friend who is the same age as me is with child. It brings everything to a sharp reality where before there was a fuzzy outline of something called life. We're in high school. This shouldn't be happening. Maybe it's a bad April Fools Joke. Her birthday is April 1st. Maybe it's a bad April Fools joke. I hope it is, this could ruin her life. It will ruin her life.
I just don't know what to say

March 18,2004

Oh my goodness people! Tonight me and Kevin went out to watch Secret Windows (mostly because of our favorite sexy guy, Jonny Depp). So after it's over, we head home. Kev owed me some money so we dropped by his house first. He went in, gave me $5, and then we headed to what I thought was the way out of his land. Instead, he decided to take his explorer fort a ride in the snowy backwoods of his lot. While I'm holding on for dear life to the 'oh Jesus' handle, Kevin floors his car onto what he thought was a shallow pacth of snow. In reality, Kevin floors his car into a 4 foot snow drift. And he got it hoplessly stuck. So guess who got to walk a little under a mile outside in snow, grass and coldness? Yes sir, me. So Kevin will be in heap of trouble soon, he just updated me to tell me his car is hopelessly stuck.
sorry, it's funny

MArch 4,2004

Hey guys.. I took a sabitical. These entries were getting way too weird. "Oh I love him, he loves me, he don't love me, la la la!"
Well, nothing new is going on. My gay friend has sworn off dating girls, thank God.
And the Poet, I think he might of gone gay... (don't tell him though)
well that's all
(Did you know the word Adios actually means 'to the gods'? So when you say that, you're actually blessing that person.)

Febuary 26,2004

Damn 4-H politics. Next time I see or hear about those evil ladies that nit pick at every single thing possible, I have half a mind to tell them off.
My brother has a nasty cough. And as selfish as it may seem, it's pissing me off. I mean, every time I try to watch TV or listen to the radio, here he comes, hacking and coughing up his stupid lungs. I know it's not a nice thing to say, but I've had a shitty week.
The Poet is starting to get on my nerves. Doing this cutesy, flirty crap with no intention of a relationship.
Kiss me babe. And my dreams won't be sweet without you in them. I don't get any more pathetic and annoying, do I?"
Well Poet boy, I doubt I'll ever kiss you: 1, because you live a good 4 hours away and 2, You're just saying that crap to be cute and annoying. And don't argue with me that Colorado is cold. I'm very satisfied with walking barefoot on scalding hot sidewalks getting sunburned by the 100 degree weather in a sand storm. But that's where I grew up. And I miss it. I'm sick of snow. Not only sick, but if I could, I would asassinate snow. if I could shoot or beat up a cloud, I would do it if I could force it not to snow ever again. I could be the weather bully. Monsoon rain and hot hot heat.
That's the only way I would have it.

Febuary 25,2004

Ok here's the deal, I think The Poet is hinting on liking me. But I'm not sure. And I don't want to ask him and feel like a fool if he says no. So Poet boy, tell me. Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top.
My gay friend, well he has officially pissed me off. That is all I will write about him,
Woo woo!!! I'm healthy!!! No sickness for me! Thank the Lord!
okwell that's really all for today, I think I'e been writing too often.
Oh well!

Febuary 23,2004

People, I have never been kissed. This bothers me. I can drive. I'm almost a year away from voting. And I've never experienced lip suckage. Not even a peck! (My parents and old people don't count. Because I've gotton wet ones from old people... yech.)
I don't guess I have much to talk about tonight. So I'll say Good Night now
Good night!

Febuary 22,2004

Creepy. Last night I had a dream I slept with one of my male friends. I'm wierded out. And now I'm talking to The Poet, my friend.
Gee, life is dull today. Nothing really happened. My mom had that open house thingymabob. And I didn't see The Exception. :( I feel sad now.
Well I should go now.

Febuary 21,2004

Well, I talked to The Poet. And Amanda had told him I thought he was mad at me. He took it that because he was hanging with his girlfriend I got all miffed at him. Well, why would he expect that? We just chat on the computer. We're not exactly close friends. Well I'm done with pining over that guy.
Now I have my eyes on... let's call him The Exception. The Exception is a guy that I lived in Texas with. Our dad's work together, and one time he was at my house and our dog bit him. Now he lives in town. And our mom's get together once in a while. The Exception smokes. I don't like smokers- I can barily stay in the room with one (I start to cough). But he's a good kid I think. And he's cute.(That's why the name 'The Exception') And we have a history. well chances are I'll see him tomarrow. He and his mom might come visit us up the hill. We'll there's my horizon guy.
And there's also a friend of mine. I thought he was gay, but he says he bi, and he's always dating these trashy girls. But latly he's been sending vibes, telling me I'm pretty, stuff like that. (Does that mean I'm becoming trashy, or has his taste changed in girls?) So I guess my gay friend isn't so gay after all. (And I say gay as in we go to the mall to boy scout togther. He is into guys.)
What's a girl to do?

Febuary 17,2004

Ok, so Valentine's Day wasn't a total flop, I did get a glass of wine. Gee how sad is that, my highlight was that I drank fermented grapes. Well what did ya'll expect? That my prince charming would come a knocking a wisk me away? Get real. Well. I am slightly healthier that when I last wrote, I'm almost cold free. But Kevin on the other hand (my rock star buddy) has come down with enfluenza. Poor thing. Well I don't really have much to say tonight. Go Cowboys! Not.
As a back flash, did any of you guys watch the super bowl halftime show? Interesting right? I'm still asking why... those Jacksons.... always wantng to be weird.
Well I guess I'm going to have to quit talking to The Poet and go to bed. Well Acually, I'll go to my room and watch Excess Baggage while I do my homework.
That's alll folks!

Febuary 14,2004

Valentine's Day

Oh how I loath this day. And by golly it hates me back! On this romantic holiday, I have a cold (that includes a runny nose and a headache) and, of coarse, no date. Now don't think that I'm just complaining here, because a lot of yall will read this and say "wow, my life could be worse, it could be that girl's life". So actually I preventing depression all over the world!
Now onto my actually life besides Rub-it-in-my-face-that-I'm-single Day. I saw The Poet, at a conference thingy, and I guess I pissed him off, because he isn't talking to me anymore.
And my possesed computer's hard drive died, a mixed blessing. You see I had a bunch of stuff on word in there, and now it's gone. I'm talking poetry, stories, assignments, ect. But that computer ws so damn slow! Now I'm working on my mother's geriatric laptop. It's so old the mouse is one of those fuzzy dots that sits above the B and under the G and the H. It's a Compac LTE 5400. That's old.
Well I'm goign to buy discount chocolates tomaorrow, so I have to go.

January 16,2004

You know what? Screw The Poet. I don't know how I could think he liked me. Dishing out all that crap about His heart being broken and feeling the pain. But he hasn't felt that pain. If he did, he wouldn't be doing things to give others that pain. So if you're reading this Poet, you suck. You suck a lot.
And forget BM, too! He's dating someone now. GRRR!!! Who did I piss off in this universe to kill my karma like this?! It's not fair!
"love is never as sweet untill you tasted the bitterness of it" -me Now I'm leaving! bye