“I think Rus is ignoring me.”
“If you’d done me up the arse, I’d be doing my best to ignore you, too.”
“Thanks, Pasha.”
“Any time. How’s your bunny?”
“Sleeping.”
“Drugs should wear off by morning. I don’t think he was poisoned.”
“I should hope not. He’s a cute little bunny. How old is he, anyway? Thirteen?”
“Fifteen, or so he said between commenting on Isidor’s glowing mushroom trick and murmuring sweet delights over the sound of demolitions.”
“We all like a good bombing, as long as we’re not playing strip dice in the building at the time. Speaking of the mushrooms… these things edible, Isidor?”
“Only if you like seeing luminous cannibal kittens everywhere you go.”
“Right then. Eva, what’ve we got to eat?”
“Between your pack and Isidor’s we’ve got two loaves of bread, a bag of raisins, four apples, a tangerine, three pears, a bag of dates, two wedges of cheese, a jug of water, and some meal.”
“Can this assemble itself into some sort of a meal?”
“We could make some cheese-and-date sandwiches.”
“You magicking types are all disgusting.”
“I happen to like cheese-and-date sandwiches.”
“You also like shagging boys.”
“I could make gruel with raisins, guys. Gruel lasts a long time.”
“Why don’t we just eat the fruit and cheese?”
“We should save the healthier food for Matvei, if he comes to.”
“Do you think he will? I can charm an alarm of some sort, see if that wakes him…”
“No, Isidor. He’s suffered head trauma. We’ll have to take him to Zorya’s.”
“I never liked your cousin, Eva.”
“Well that’s just too bad, isn’t it? She’s never liked you, either. She’s rather prejudiced against thieves.”
“I agree. Take a few berries and a pitcher of milk and suddenly you’re the Legions of Terror to that woman.”
“‘That woman’ saves hundreds of lives, and for goodness’ sake… she’s my family.”
“Right. Your family. You deal with them. What do you say, Isidor? You and me and your bunny can head down to the shore for a few weeks while Eva and Rus take Matvei to Südkaroli and Mrs. Zorya.”
“I rather like the Athenry Foothills this time of year, actually. Trees are lovely.”
“Bunny might like the shore better.”
“We probably shouldn’t split up. Mmm. Smell that gruel.”
“Eva, are you sure you should be running a fire in here?”
“Why not?”
“How about… the building is made of wood? Maybe Isidor could cast some sort of… of heat-charm or something.”
“It would involve tiny ninjas.”
“Don’t want those running around?”
“Heaven forbid. I could sprout some more mushrooms, I guess.”
“No glowing mushrooms near this gruel. I’m not taking any chances, and I am in complete control of this fire.”
“Your trousers are alight, Ev.”
“Thanks, Pasha.”
“Taste this for me before I add the raisins.”
“It’s lacking something.”
“Needs more grey?”
“Maybe too much grey.”
“I can make it pink! Or green!”
“No, Isidor. Grey’s the proper color for gruel.”
“Oh, yes. Just how mother used to make it. Drowning in grey.”
“It might be more appealing in another color, Eva. See, I could turn it pink and make the raisins blue.”
“If you want pink gruel, you can cook your own.”
“How about just making the raisins pink, then?”