“Tovleniskya Zarya put Ishlanov Isidori up in back room. Ishlanov Isidori sleep good, bless home leaving.”
“Thank you, Zarya. Tell me… where’s Pushki?”
“Bunny share room with sons Tovlenisky Denis, Tovlenisky Vitaly. Little Bunny get scared, Tovlenisky Vitaly bring Bunny to Ishlanov Isidori.”
“Excuse me.”
*muffled noises *
“Excuse me, I’m in this bed.”
“Oh… oh… OH, I’m sorry. Which one are you?”
“Isidor. If you don’t mind, I’m sleeping in this room, so uh… Miss…”
“Baba.”
“Yaga.”
“Oh. Are… aren’t you…?”
“What?”
“I thought you were sisters, but… nevermind. I don’t think I care to know.”
“We’ll take this elsewhere, shall we, Yaga?”
“Sleep well, Mr. Isidor.”
“Uh… thank you, ladies.”
“Wha? Who?”
“It is only Tovleniskya Vasilisa.”
“Is there a… a reason you’re in my bed?”
“Do I need a reason?”
“Well, you see, it’s rather late and I think you have your own bed to sleep in.”
“Perhaps I do not want my own bed. Perhaps my bed is cold.”
“I’m sure that you have extra blankets somewhere, or if you want, I know a heat charm with tiny ninjas…”
“You are warm enough.”
“Now look here, Tovleni- NO. NO NO NO. I’ll get your mother in here.”
“Do not call her. She would want me to share.”
“Vasilisa, go back to your room. I’ll shout for Eva if you don’t.”
“I was young when you came here first.”
“Eleven or twelve… it was three years ago… I say, leave that alone!”
“I am not so very young anymore. I am fifteen now.”
“That’s just sodding splendid. Get out of my bed.”
“You are such a very good-looking man. My brothers are not as pretty as you are.”
“I beg to differ. Get.”
“I do not want to go.”
“I’ll… I’ll kick you out of the bed!”
“You would kick a girl out into the cold?”
“Without thinking twice.”
“You would not. You are too- OUCH!”
“Good NIGHT.”
“Who’s there? I heard the door, you can’t tell me I didn’t!”
“It only Tovleniskya Zarya, Ishlanov Isidori.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen to Eva?”
“Tovleniskya Evpraksiya asleep.”
“Matvei, then? Pushki?”
“Tovleniskya Zarya come only for herself.”
“I… see.”
“Not yet, Ishlanov Isidori does not see.”
“I believe that I do and that will be quite enough, madam. Kindly put your clothing back on and LET ME SLEEP.”
“Ishlanov Isidor would refuse hospitality?”
“I’m fine. I’m all hospitalitied-out for tonight.”
“Is Ishlanov Isidori quite sure? Tovleniskya Zarya not lost all youth yet.”
“This is ridiculous! Just… just go!”
“Isidor?”
“GET OUT OF HERE! CAN’T I SLEEP FOR TWO HOURS? JUST TWO HOURS WITHOUT BEING SHAGGED UPON OR FONDLED OR SOLICITED??”
“Isidor, it’s Vitaly. I was sharing a room with your bunny.”
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that… you see, some of your sisters…”
“They’re always like that. Isn’t it fantastic?”
“Umm…”
“Anyway, pretty trick, your bunny couldn’t sleep so I brought him back to you. There’s room for two in your bed.”
“Thank you. Come here, Pushki. I hear tell the blankets are warm.”
“The bed was too big, and Vitaly and Denis didn’t have anything to hotwire.”
“Nothing we’d let a kid have, he means.”
“I’m not a kid!”
“Pushki’s fifteen.”
“So’s my kid sister, the little kink, but Denis believes in leaving the young uncorrupted. I’ll let the wizard and the bunny get to sleep.”
“G’night, Vitaly.”
“G’night, Isidor, Bunny.”
“It was too quiet. Denis and Vitaly don’t argue or hum while I try to sleep.”
“Should be quiet here, too.”
“What were you singing for Eva the other day? Before we stopped for lunch?”
“The Gypsy and the Vampire?”
“Will you start over?”
“Should I finish it this time?”
“Please.”
“Oh once there was a-walking on down Hanley’s Highway the prettiest gypsy you ever did see with black hair and blue eyes and baubles of silver and vi-o-let skirts all hitched up past the knee alone did the girl stroll past midnight down Hanley’s until she did roadside a gentleman meet with a waistcoat and breeches and blood on his fair mouth and a pair of webbed flippers where he ought to have feet and pretty girl gypsy knew this was a vampire and wanted no trouble from him nor his kin and made up her mind to be safely distracting till over Cliffsight first light could begin…”