#1)-We'll start off with an easy one. What's your sex?
Obviously male, I mean, look at me!
I am clearly female, or do you not have eyes?
I'm male. I can understand why you wouldn't be able to tell.
I'm female. Are my boobs really that small?
Male.
Female.

#2)-Okay, so maybe that wasn't so easy. How about this one: what do you sing?
I sing soprano. Preferably lead soprano.
I sing tenor.
I sing bass.
I'd like to sing, and have a rather nice alto, but I'm stuck as a dancer.
I dance, and occasionally join in a chorus or two.
I don't sing. I manage the opera house.
Why on earth would I want to sing?

#3)-You people just can't answer a question simply, can you? Fine, then, what do you know of the Opera Ghost?
Where did you hear that from? I tell you, there is no such thing as the Opera Ghost!
He ruined my career the *EDIT* *EDIT*!!
He taught me pretty much all I know. I owe my success to him, but he's starting to act a little strange...
I am absolutely terrified of him. He's killing people, for Christ's sake!
I am the Opera Ghost. Rather a catchy title, don't you think?
What do you want to know? I probably know more about him than anyone else. Except for himself, of course.
Ask someone else. All of my friends and family know more than I. *pouts*
I'm here to kill...I mean, heh heh, arrest him. Yeah. Arrest.
That low-down, dirty little *EDIT*! He tried to steal my girl, and *EDIT* near got away with it, too!
Please, monsieur. There's a reason why I retired.
Please, monsieur. Let's let the past rest, hmm?

#4)-What do the words "Angel of Music" mean to you?
My father. And later, my teacher.
It's just another alias, nothing more.
There is no Angel of Music! There is no Phantom of the Opera!
*is highly amused by above answer* Sure kid. Keep telling yourself that.
It's just another name for the Opera Ghost, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Who?

#5)-Tell me your opinion of Don Juan Triumphant, s'il vous plait.
It was horrible. Perhaps if it had been written by someone else, it might have made it big.
If you don't think about who wrote it, it's actually quite lovely.
My masterpiece!
*stares blankly* What about it?

#6)-You know, I'm sensing some annimosity here.
*evil grin* I know. I take sadistic pleasure in creating discord.
It's that vile Opera Ghost who's causing it!
It's all because of poor, misunderstood Erik. Yes, that's right, he has a name. Erik.
Well, there is a murderer on the loose, you know.

#7)-Tell me honestly. What's your opinion of the Phantom of the Opera, the Opera Ghost?
I used to hate him. Now I just pity him.
I used to love him. Now I just pity him.
I used to distrust him. Now I just hate him.
He used to amuse me. Then he started killing people, and now I just hate him.
Are you kidding? He terrifies me! If I didn't need this money so bad, I'd quit!
He used to terrify me, but now I pity him as well. Yes, of course I'm still scared of him!
I always hated him and always will. He's evil, through and through.
I pity him. Always have, always will. No one listened to me when I warned them not to annoy him, and now they can reap the consequences.
I rather admire the fellow.

#8)-Let's say it's a Friday night. Where are you, more often than not?
I am performing for my admiring public, of course! I am a diva, after all.
I am performing for her admiring public.
I am counting up all the money I'm making from said performance.
I am watching said performance, hoping to see my love.
I am watching said performance, hoping that my students don't botch it up.
I am dancing in said performance, hoping to get noticed and be promoted.
I am dancing in said performance, hoping not to mess up too badly.
I am either performing, watching, or being kidnapped.
I am either performing, watching, or kidnapping someone.
I am working.
Let's see...I think Friday is bingo night!

#9)-Well, I think that about wraps this up. Thank you for your time.
*giggle* You're very welcome. You'll mention my name, and how beautiful I am, right?
*level stare* You are welcome. Please leave.
*sigh* It's over already? How can you be sure you know the real me?
*courteous bow* You are quite welcome. Please, be sure to visit us again! Perhaps on performance night?
*nod of the head* You're very welcome. Can I go back to enjoying my retirement now?
*curtsy* But of course, a diva must give her public what they want!
*snort* Are all those fools under the impression this is a newspaper interview?
*curtsy* Quite welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I must be kidnapped or something soon.
*elaborate bow* You are most welcome, good sir. I regret that I must now rush off heroically to save my love from certain death.
*curt bow* Welcome. Must get back to work. Cheerio. (I thought this was France!)
*strains* Eh? What was that you said?
*sigh* It was nice reliving old memories with you, monsiour. (Yes, this is France.)