#1)-How would your friends describe you?
I don't have friends. I don't trust anyone.
They say I'm handsome, and intelligent, and sexy, and hilaiously funny, and...okay, they say I talk a lot and make too many wisecracks.
They tell me I'm too serious.
The perfect superhero. Kind, intelligent, handsome, you get the idea...
Do you mean my friends or my co-workers? Because I don't really know anyone outside of my work...
They can't talk. My friends are all birds.
My friends are all dead.
I don't have friends. I have trusted advisors and subjects. Oh, and my wife.

#2)-How would your family describe you?
My family is dead too, and thanks so much for bringing up harsh memories.
My wife would say I am brave. My child would say something along the lines of "ga-ga".
I have no family to speak of. Unless you count the birds.
I don't speak of my family, to protect them.
My family lives on a deserted island populated entirely by women. They think I'm an idiot for living and working with inferior men.
I don't have a family. I have a butler.
They are proud of what I do to defend Earth and the universe.
They would say that I'm a nice enough guy, just your average Joe. (they don't know me very well)

#3)-What's your typical Friday night?
Bad guys never seem to take the weekend off...
Avoiding everyone else and occupying myself with new gadgets.
Par-tah! Hey, everyone needs a break, right?
I'm usually spending time with my girlfriend. Yes, that's right, girlfriend.
Spending time with my wife and child.
I do not understand this civilization's fascination with Friday and Saturday night-times. I go to sleep, like any normal person.
I'm usually flying around somewhere. Not only is it fun, I can also keep an eye out for trouble.
I'm at headquarters, pulling the graveyard shift. Someone has to do it.

#4)-So. What's your opinion on spandex?
Ugh, it is so over-done. I much prefer...hey, wait! I'm wearing spandex! Aww, man!
It makes me break out. I prefer feathers. (no sex jokes, please)
I put the span in spandex. Um, yeah.
I don't need clothing, actually. Scales are quite useful in that regard.
I tolerate it.
I tolerate it. On other people.
What is spandex? My culture does not require clothing, so while I am here I make do with a loincloth.
I'll stick to my little revealing hotpants and tube top, thank you.

#5)-Tell me honestly, how did you get roped into working with all these other people?
Heh, that's a funny story, actually. You see, I tried to kill them all...
They need my help and military experience.
Hey, if I'm going to live on this dinky little planet, I'm going to help protect it.
It was all my idea.
They need my technology and my help.
Well, when my mom exiled me, I kind of needed a place to stay.
They broke me out of a government facility. Since I can't go home, the least I can do is help them in return.
Oh yes, they need me. Especially the women. Oh yeah.

#6)-Where do you live?
Wherever I can stay, usually headquarters.
I've got a nice little place. Yes, of course I'm out of the house!*cough cough*
I have a nice apartment. Quaint, a nice size, in a nice neighborhood. Blends in very well.
I'd be happy in army barracks.
Have you ever heard of a mythical place called Atlantis? Yeah. It's not so mythical, really.
You know, come to think of it, I don't really know. Huh.
I stay in a couple nice eyries.
I have a nice large mansion with a nice old butler who's known my habits for years.

#7)-Can you fly?
Of course! I'm a superhero, aren't I?
Can a fish swim? I mean, really, this kind of question is just insulting!
Yes. And I can shape-shift. And I can become invisible. And...
Yes, although no one's quite sure how.
Not quite, but I can run so fast it doesn't really matter. Until we hit an ocean.
No, but who cares? I've got the ocean. I never go above the surface for long anyway.
Yes, by a nifty trick I can. I can also make anyone else fly, but I don't unless I have to.
Sometimes. If there are handy buildings I can swing from or jump off of.

#8)-So how do you feel about the others in the group?
The guys are nice. But superhero chicks, man oh man! *whistles*
I try to avoid them. But they're growing on me.
They are wonderful allies and friends. My trusted co-workers and confidents!
Oh man. Some of them are really clueless.
We all have our faults. Just some are worse than others.
I really can't complain. Although it would be nice to let by-gones be by-gones. I was only possessed once!
I was very grateful for their help in saving my kingdom, but let's just say I'm not eager to spend the holidays together.
I'm still trying to decide if I like the males or not.

#9)-That was not very helpful. Let me ask you specifically, how do you feel about Superman?
He's more than a little stuck up, but a nice enough guy.
Very nice man. Was quite helpful and forgiving, actually.
I put up with him, as long as he doesn't try to make himself the leader.
I owe him my life. He was the one who found me in the government facility.
Well, he's very nice, for a man...
Typical superhero. Need I say more?
He ain't got nothing on me!

#10)-Okay, how about Batman?
He's a sweet man under that dark exterior.
Isn't he gay? Not that I have a problem with it, more chicks for me!
It was very kind of him to help me, but he didn't seem like he quite fit in.
He didn't give me a very warm welcome.
Far be it for me to critisize a comrade, but I don't usually approve of homosexuality.
Oh, he's got a crush on me. He hides it well with that gay act, but I know what he's thinking...
I worry that he's got a crush on me. He's gay, right?

#11)-Stop with the gay jokes and tell me your opinion on Wonder Woman.
What a babe! And she grew up on an island filled with other hot babes! *wolf whistle*
I'm very happy she agreed to stay and help us.
That girl has NO IDEA how to get along with men! She doesn't know what they're good for *wink wink*.
She's very hot. Very hot. As in, I'm attracted to her. As in, I'm not gay. Is that clear?
That dark-haired chick? Her mom is such a babe...just don't tell my wife I said that!
She's a naive little princess. Litterally.
She appears to be the most kind-hearted of the group.

#12)-All right, since we're on the females, we'll ask about Hawk Girl next.
Who's she? I don't remember any other girls but Wonder Woman and Batma--erm, Wonder Woman.
Saucy. Just how I like 'em. Ow! Hey, stop hitting me with that big club!
She's a bit unreliable. Let's just say I'm glad there are others in the group that I have watching my back.
Next week, she's taking me to a club and she's going to teach me how to dance!
Wow, what a babe. She's smart, she doesn't take any crap, and man can she fight.
Excellent observational and investigational skills. I just wish she'd take the mask off once in a while, but who am I to complain?
We're kindred souls. We both have adopted Earth as our home.

#13)-Tell me what you think about Flash.
He's a braggart.
He's annoying.
He's very...erm...fast.
I don't understand half of what he says.
I do not understand that boy.
Wasn't he that fast, annoying kid?
What a kid. Smart-aleck, fast on his feet, even has a sense of loyalty. He's not too bad, once you get used to him.

#14)-On to Green Lantern!
He's like my best friend! (See that, people? It's called saying something nice...stop hitting me with that club!)
Tall dark and handsome. And the eyes are nice, too.
He's that guy with the weird green stuff, right?
He's an interesting man. Rather cold, but tolerable.
He's very nice. Has a nice fight ethic. He got that from the military, right?
An excellent fighter. Just the guy I like on my side.
He doesn't bother me.

#15)-Who's next? Let's see, how about the Martian, J'Onn?
He's too emotional.
He's a wonderful asset to the team.
Who?
He's rather chatty.
I feel sorry for him. I mean, his whole species was murdered! I'm glad we're here to take him in.
Man, someone tell that kid to put some clothes on.
He keeps out of my way, I keep out of his.

#16)-I believe that only leaves Aquaman, so spill.
Who? Oh, that dude with the hook! Yeah, I didn't meet him.
A very family-oriented man.
I believe Mother has met him before.
He's very devoted to his family.
Isn't he the guy who threatened to kill the entire world?
He's the one who cut off his hand, right?
Is all of this leading somewhere?

#17)-Let's say you and another person are entering a building, and that person holds open the door and says "Ladies first." How would you reply?
I would smile and thank them and walk on in.
*howl of outrage* I'm not gay! I thought that was understood!
*pause, skeptic glare* Uh-huh. Sure.
No one would need to tell me. I know that.
I would glare, and they would back off. Trust me on this one.
I would agree, and escort both the ladies on each of my arms in first before I went in.
What does that mean, anyway? But if this is how things are done, let me not stand in the way.
That would never happen. Servants are a wonderful thing.

#18)-Okay, well that's about it. What did you think of this test?
If I hadn't been able to take it so fast, I'd say that I just wasted ten minutes of my time. As it is, I only wasted about one!
This was pointless.
I'm sure it has some meaning that I am yet unaware of. Right? Hey, right?
I was glad to answer this quiz. I allows my public to learn more about me.
Can I just smash you with my club? I mean, honestly, what was the point in this?
I have so many better things to do. Can I leave now?
Is this some strange Earth ritual?
I'm not gay. Just remember that, and we'll have no problems, okay? I'm not gay.