"HELL'S BELLS"
Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something? However, I do entrust you with...' (Willow and Tara start laughing.) What? Is something funny?
Tara: No, nothing, sweetie, just, just keep still.
Anya: Okay. Blah, blah, blah, misogynistic. Blah, blah, 'I do however entrust you, um, with my heart. Take care of my heart, won't you please? Take care of it because, it's all that I have. And, if you let me, I'll take care of your heart too. I'll protect it and tend to it, like a little stray.' Wait, no. 'Like a, a little mangy stray that needs a home.' No, that's not it either.
Tara: Um, I think we're all set here. Let's take a look at you. (Anya turns around and displays her dress.) Oh.
Willow: Wow. You look lovely. Really... lovely.
Anya: Thanks. It's probably the blush of imprudent spending. Do you think Xander will like it? Oh, I want to see Xander now.
Willow: You can't. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress, remember?
Anya: Right. I can't keep all these ridiculous traditions straight. What if I'm not wearing my dress when I see him? (Willow gives her a scolding look.) Okay, no sex. Cuddling? Okay. It's just I'm so excited and I want to share it all with my best friend. I get to be with my best friend forever! Yay!
Anya: 'I, Anya, promise to cherish you...' Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, 'I promise to have sex with you whenever I want, and, uh, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...'
Tara: Uh, sex poodle?
Anya: Yeah, why?
Tara: Um, I'm not sure you should say 'sex poodle' in your vows.
Anya: Huh.
Okay. For the last time. 'I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because I love you and I'll always love you. And before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really, and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and you knew me. You saw me, and it was this thing. You make me feel safe and warm.' So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.'
Anya
"SEEING RED"
Buffy: What I do with my life is none of your business.
Xander: It used to be.
Buffy: It just happened, okay.
Xander: Oh, like, "Say, you're evil. Get on me."?
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