A Mothers Love



In the darkened room, the silver beam of moonlight from the open window, the only light, your squalls seem bigger than both of us. slowly, gently, i rock your scarred wooden crib, glancing around you barren room. your father always thought you should have your own room, although we could never afford to furnish it for you with anyhting but your crib. i wanted a normal baby's room for you, with big soft toys, and little furniture in pastel colours.

surrounded by the moonlights magical beam, almost everyhting seems possible, event he baby room of our dreams. we never had much to provide for you but we loved you so much, your father and i. your still crying, red faced and unhapy, in your small blue sleeper. quietly i try whispering to you, hoping a melodic voice and the gentle rocking will help you to sleep.

"hush me little baby, my precious doll. i know your hungry, and beggin for food, but we have nothing left for you to eat. maybe in the morning the nice lady at the food bank will have some food for you, but you need to sleep now. mommy loves you, no matter what. daddy loved you too. he still does you know? daddy is up in heaven now, watching you from big fluffy clouds. daddy lives with the angels now and hes watching you from heaven now, but he still loves you. your still his precious angel doll. hush baby, hush now darling. i know you miss your daddy. he didnt want to elave you but he had to. the mean boys from the bloods didnt like him on earth so they sent him to heaven. hush darling. do you remember daddys funeral?, and how everyone said he was too young to die? everyone said the good, the favored ones die young. and daddy was young darling, just turned 18 a few weeks ago, right after you were born darling. shh now my love. we were both so young, your daddy and i. too young to haev a baby they said, and maybem they were right. we couldnt give you much other than our love. but we loved you so much. hush darling, hush my sweet little baby girl. i love you so, it hurts to see you cry. always remember that, mommy love you with all of her heart, no matter what, my darling, dearest baby girl."

and you slowly stopped crying, stopped whimpering and drifted into an exhausted sleep. as you slept i watched you, tears slowly creeping their way down my cheeks. i knew what i had to do. i couldnt be a real mother to you, i was only 17, and couldnt even afford to feed you after your daddy died. i had been to see the adoption lady the week before. she promised me you would get a nice family, one who would always feed you and love you. and in that disillusioned moonbeam, i quietly wept, rocking back and forth on the floor as i thought about loosing my darling little girl, my baby......

.....you

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