in this dream, i was at a boarding school with my old best friend louisa. it wasn't interlochen, where we met in real life, but one of those stereotypical stuck-up english boarding schools like in the movies. it was surrounded by a gorgeous forest, and the two of us liked to wander the paths through the woods. we never saw any other students. the teachers talked to me, but not to louisa, and her side of the room was empty. i couldn't figure out why, until all of a sudden the dream changed and she was dead, a ghost screaming at everyone trying to get their attention and coming to me crying because they couldn't hear her. when i tried to tell the teachers about her, they grabbed me and slit my throat.

i was in a purple room, in swimming pool filled with wine, talking to a human-sized oyster with a hat and glasses. a man stood at the edge of the pool carving his plastic face up with a chainsaw. i was upset because no matter how much wine i drank, i couldn't get drunk, and because the oyster was flirting with me. i think i've been watching too many art films.

it was the middle of the night, and i was lying on my back at the bottom of higgins lake. there was a full moon above me, shimmering through the surface, and i opened my mouth to swallow it. i don't know why i wanted to swallow the moon. but as soon as my lips parted i sank into the cold black mud, it held me down no matter how much i struggled. the filthy water and mud oozed into my mouth, my nose, my eyes, everything, and the more i tried to scream the faster it poured in. i'm never able to scream.

my friends and i were driving much too fast along a narrow road on a steep cliff with no guardrails. nothing happened.

there was a building that was either a shopping mall or a history museum. maybe a history museum with a lot of gift shops. but i was wandering through it, when i noticed a big red door that everyone was passing by. i went through it, and found myself in a small room.

there were shelves lined with dolls and rocking chairs with dolls in them, and all of the dolls were the old-fashioned porcelain kind in victorian dress. one turned its head to look at me, with a horrible rusty creaking noise as its head grated against its neck, and pursed its lips. one by one, all of the dolls turned to face me, and began walking stiffly towards me, arms outstretched, red paint pouring from their eyes and mouths. somehow i knew it was red paint and not blood. suddenly the door was locked. i woke up before they caught me, but still didn't get back to sleep that night.

a very bizarre dream. i was driving around detroit in a purple car with no doors and a clown passed out in the backseat. for some reason, detroit was on the coast and only thirteen miles from grayling. the clown woke up and was hungry, so we drove to the library to get a cookbook. alas, there were none to be found.

the alarm went off in real life, but i went back to sleep. and in my dream i got up when the alarm went off. i showered, brushed my hair and teeth, put on my clothes and makeup and nail polish. i was ready for the day, and even early.

i woke up in real life again, and was very pissed at having to go through my entire morning routine a second time.

i was a nurse in a hospital. for some reason, the hospital was a skyscraper. sure, fine, whatever. the doctors were trying an experimental drug on the patients of one floor, and it had turned the patients into bloodthirsty zombies. that probably wasn't what the drug was supposed to do.

i went to see if anyone was left alive, and it was carnage. blood streaking the walls, doctors riddled with surgical implements, screams echoing everywhere. it was actually a little like the mental hospital in hellraiser 2. i was the only one left who could stop the zombies. naturally.

so i did some serious zombie ass-kicking. james bond-level stunts, crawling around in vents and blowing up elevator shafts and kung fu and stuff. but then i came across a group of zombies who had been my friends when they were alive, and couldn't bring myself to kill them. they stabbed me in the back (nice hunk of symbolism there) and cut out my eyes, tongue, and heart. in that order. time to swear off the horror movies for awhile, i guess.

this was one of those dreams that already seems to be in progress, like sitting down to watch a movie that's halfway over. you just kind of go with it. so i saw myself, in my room, rushing around trying to clean up before my parents got home. i must have been doing some serious partying, because the place was a mess, the stereo was blasting, there were empty liquor bottles and joints still burning. whoever i had been with was hiding in the closet. i heard my parents come in the door, and it turned to slow motion as they walked up the stairs.....paused by my door......and walked on by. i opened the closet door to tell the person they could sneak out now, and saw myself. but i was a guy, a very attractive, slender guy. and he just kind of looked at me like i should have known all along who was there.

i was hurrying down a long corridor to a business meeting. i'd overslept, so i was trying to brush my teeth and arrange my notes and fix my skirt at the same time. all of a sudden the pope came out of a doorway, smiled at me, and started expanding. expanding, like a damn balloon. soon he took up the entire hallway and i couldn't get through. i had to get to the meeting or i'd be fired. so i charged, flinging pens and index cards at him. one of the pens lodged in his swollen stomach, and he popped and flew around the room as he deflated. i just watched, thinking "oh my god, i killed the pope. this is going to look so bad when i try to get into heaven."

i don't usually have such long dreams in such a sensible order, or at least i don't remember them that way. but this was a very complete story...

there was a villain that i was fighting. he could shift between two forms; a shadowy man with rusted hooks, barbs, clippers and needles hanging from his coat, and a glowing saint with a sunflower for a head that tossed more sunflowers and danced.

children were disappearing from the lake near my town. there was a roll of quarters in my hand. if i knew where a child had been taken, i tossed a quarter on that spot and the villain would be forced to return them unharmed. there were two children i had befriended, a brother and sister, and i promised to get all of their friends back safely.

but while i was swimming in the lake one night, the boy and girl both disappeared. the dream fragmented for a minute...bloody chunks of flesh. tips of sharp instruments. lots of screaming and crying. the boy was returned, nearly dead. the girl's corpse was hung from a tree. the boy's fingers and toes had been cut off, and he had been pinned and hooked into some kind of grotesque sculpture.

the parents were gathering, all with rusted hedge clippers. they began clipping off my toes and fingers, one for each missing child. the blood covering me was so thick and sticky i couldn't move to get away. i somehow convinced them to give me another chance, and started tossing quarters again.

soon i had all of the children back except one. they all had body parts missing...ears, eyes, noses, limbs. i cried and bit off my own tongue in remorse.

i had no idea where to throw the last quarter. the parents were coming again and i started to walk into the lake. they stopped, but i kept going. the sun was shining, but there were dark clouds forming occult symbols. the waves were getting higher, turning to fingers and slapping me, but i just kept walking. suddenly i saw a giant wave coming towards me the villain's face outlined in the water.

i sobbed, and opened my two-fingered hand...two dimes fell out. i don't know how i opened my other hand, there were only stubs and broken-off bones, but i opened it and four pennies fell out.

i woke up.