When Courtney told everyone she was going to be in an all girl band, they all laughed at her. Girl bands were a rarity in the early 80’s. But Courtney was determined to be famous and prove to everyone that she is worth something. She would write lists on how she would accomplish this feat. One of the things on her list was to become friends with the lead singer of REM, Micheal Stipe. Years later, she did.
While she lived in Portland, Courtney got in the habit of taking a lot of pills. She would complain to doctors so that she could get prescriptions to various drugs. She was fond of methamphetamines, which were an upper that caused extreme violence and insanity in people after prolonged usage. Courtney also used opiates and became extremely addicted to heroin. This gave her "punk rock image" more reality. Still, many of the scenesters thought Courtney would just pretend to be a junkie who was into punk music. Real punks would question her authenticity, thinking that she was too much of a feminist. But Courtney didn't give a damn about what others thought. Her need for attention grew and, because of it, she later met Rozz, a musician of whom she fell in love with.
In the summer of 1984, Courtney was offered $30,000 to strip in Taiwan. She immediately accepted and when she returned to Portland she found that her boyfriend, Rozz, had run away to San Francisco to get away from her. This angered Courtney and she decided to make him feel sorry. She stalked him, breaking into his apartment and trashing it. The things that Courtney did caused Rozz to run away and break up his band. To this day, Rozz blames Courtney for all the things that went wrong in his life.
After Courtney's "ruin Rozz's life" phase, she went back to Portland and met a girl named Kat Bjelland. They became best friends and had much in common. They both stripped for money, they both wanted to be famous, and they both wanted to be part of the Portland music scene. They both liked vintage clothes, and would later fight over who started the kinderwhore look (personally, I think only Courtney could've come up with that look). Courtney and Kat decided to move to San Francisco together. They both took up jobs as coat check girls at a club. Courtney found it funny that she was only a coat check girl and not one of the performers on stage. "Why was I not allowed to play guitar?" says Courtney. "I just made myself think, 'I will not covet what boys have. I’ll just create it myself.'"
Courtney and Kat later met Jennifer Finch, a musician from L.A. The three became fast friends and, together, they went to see an all girl band by the name of Frightwig. They were inspired and decided to start a band of their own, "Sugar Baby Doll." All three girls would later go on to form separate bands, and all three bands would be three of the most famous girl bands of the 1990’s. L7 (Jennifer Finch), Babes in Toyland (Kat Bjelland), and Hole (Courtney Love).
Kat and Courtney were always jealous of each other and got into many (some rather vicious) fights. Courtney later says that "Kat was far better with men. They’d all fall in love with her, and she would break their hearts. She was like a sex symbol who always hung out with the coolest musicians, and I was fat and zitty and hanging out with the roadies. That power was something I wanted." This jealousy would result in Courtney's future stealing of Kat's jewelery, clothes, lyrics, and guitar riffs.
Sugar Baby Doll broke up after playing only three shows. Courtney wanted to play "melodic music in the new wave genre" and Kat and Jennifer wanted to play punk music.
After Sugar Baby Doll broke up, Courtney went back to stripping. She gave up the thought of having a band and decided to just strip for the rest of her life. Courtney even went through a self-mutilation phase. She would cut herself while dancing and did it whenever she was "working through an emotional trauma."
She stopped at nothing to prove she was hardcore, but most people just couldn't stand her brash personality, compulsive name-dropping, and bragging. However there were always a few people who liked her, for her intelligence, wit, and charm. One of the members of the band Faith No More realized her charm and asked her to be the lead singer for his band. A local fanzine reviewed some Faith No More concerts and said the band sucked, but Courtney ignored the comments. She felt that she was going somewhere. However, the comments bothered the band and they kicked Courtney out.
Courtney was tired of trying to be a rockstar so she decided to try acting instead. She moved to L.A. to try to find some acting jobs. Many times she was unsuccessful on landing roles. Courtney needed money so she went back to stripping. But stripping was getting old for Courtney and she was determined to become an actress. Finally, in 1986, she landed a small role in an Alex Cox movie called "Sid and Nancy" (though she was hoping to play Nancy). But Courtney still had a yearning for music
In 1987, Courtney and Kat decided they would try again and, with another friend named Lori Barbero, they started "Babes in Toyland." But when Alex Cox called Courtney to star in his upcoming film entitled "Straight To Hell," Courtney left "Babes in Toyland" to start up her acting career again. Unfortunately, the movie bombed, and Courtney had no choice but to go back to stripping.
The year was 1988 now, Courtney’s trust fund had dried up, she had no movie money left, her acting career was finished, she barely had any friends, and every band she tried to be part of either broke up or kicked her out. So she moved to Alaska to get a bigger paying stripping job. After months of living depressed in Alaska, Courtney’s motivation kicked back into full gear.
Courtney left Alaska, moved down to Vancouver, and then down to Seattle, and then back to Portland. She stayed in Portland for a few months, and moved yet again to a town near Corvallis, Oregon, where she lived with a record store owner. It was here that she finally learned how to play guitar. But after a few months, she got bored again, and she moved back to L.A. where there was a new wave of girl punk bands on the rise. Courtney was determined to be part of it.
