TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, AREN'T:

• 10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
• 9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
• 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
• 7. Look at the size of his putter.
• 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
• 5. Mind if I join your threesome?
• 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
• 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
• 2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
• And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't; ;
• 1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!!!