Author: Stephanie M wicciangirl51@hotmail.com
Feedback: Would be great! This is my first Matt/Ben story.
Pairing: Matt/Ben
Warning: Death Fic
Notes: Kinda disjointed as its Ben's thoughts.
Disclaimer: Complete Fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of the celebrities mentioned.
The Story:
It was the worst day of my life, the day that everything crumbled.
I remember getting the phone call at 3 a.m. vowing if someone wasn’t dead, I would kill whoever was calling me.
Ironic, huh? Because someone was dead, maybe not quite but they told me in no uncertain terms that they didn’t think he would survive much longer.
I don’t know how I got there but I found myself staring at the hospital praying that it was all a nightmare. Like I could be that lucky!
“Matt Damon?” I asked the nurse, not bothering to do anything when she stared at me in a mix of awe and pity.
“Room 1022.” She replied and I ran to the room not bothering with pleasantries.
Matt asked sounding weak and afraid, “Benny? What are you doing here?”
I had never seen Matt look so fragile and innocent. I know its ridiculous but I felt a rush of anger at him for getting hit by that car. More than anything else I wanted to just hold him in my arms and never let him go.
“Where else would I be, Matty?” I said softly trying to hold in my tears.
“I was calling for you and I guess they decided that you should be here. I’m sorry.” Matt said apologetically for what I’m still not sure.
“It’s okay. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.” I said smiling when Matt flashed one of those killer smiles at me, making my knees go weak.
Matt started to gasp for air but he looked straight at me and said, “I love you Ben.”
I kissed his cheek.
I remember shouting for help as I watched. Tears streaming down my face as I prayed for them to help him. I listened for some sign that he was going to be okay, only to hear the unmistakable sound of a flatline on the heart machine.
“I’m very sorry. We did everything possible,” Some doctor said to me but I didn’t stop to listen.
I remember walking to the bed and crying, laying my head on Matty’s chest. I kissed his lips, unable to believe that I should discover he returned my love seconds before he died. Wishing I could known so when he was alive or that I could have said something. Only I had been too afraid, afraid and blind.
“I love you, Matt.” I whispered cradling his body making plans to join him.
That is what I’m doing now, it’s been one month since Matt died. Since that day people have phoned me, telling me that their sorry and that they understand.
I just ignored the calls, how could anyone understand?
I look at the blade, feeling only a sense of peace now that I have decided what to do. I’ll be with him before nightfall, and it will be perfection. To know that I will spend eternity with Matt, I believe with all my heart that I will see him again.
I’m just sorry that I have to do this to my brother and my family. That reminds me, I have to leave a note explaining it to them and making one request. Picking up a piece of paper and a pen I start to write, not knowing where the words are coming from.
Casey,
I’m sorry.
This is the only way, the only way I can be with Matt. I love him and always have.
It was exactly one month and two hours ago that he died, just minutes after he told me that he loved me.
So I’m going to him. To spend eternity in my love’s embrace, what could be better?
Don’t feel guilty or angry, there was nothing anyone could have done. I know this way I will be where I should be, with Matt for eternity.
Please, make sure that I am buried next to him. Near him in death, as I never was in life.
Love,
Ben Affleck.
I take one look at the note as I cut into my wrists. As I feel my blood leave my body, my mind is filled with the image of Matt’s smiling face. I close my eyes, ready to be with him in death, as I never could in life.
The End.
