“Damn it!” Buffy cursed and kicked the side of the furnace. For some reason the metal just wasn’t heating right. “Ian, help.” She held the next piece of Han’s sword by a pair of tongs. Turning it over as she saw where it had unevenly heated. It wasn’t the metals fault but hers. Her mind hadn’t been on her work today. A feeling of nervousness had taken resident in her stomach. Something was up and she didn’t know what. She dropped the metal on the edge of the furnace and sat down. Reaching up she pushed her hair from her face and grimaced as she realized she had just covered her face in soot.

“Eew.” This was just what she needed to make her day better. The day was hot with a lingering dampness in the air. Everything and everyone felt grimy.

“Buffy, Buffy come quick” Eachann’s son came running into the shop at full speed. At first Buffy thought something bad had happened. “He’s here. They’re home. Spike is back.”

Then turning the boy ran back the way he had come. News was spreading fast and people were pouring into town to greet Spike and the others home. Buffy looked down at herself and groaned. Well, so much for her fantasies. Ian had come to watch the people make their way down the road.

“What are you waiting for girl? Go! Greet your young man.” Ian practically pushed her from the shop.

Buffy followed the throngs of people to the circle of people greeting them home. Saoirse greeted her first and came to give her a big hug. The two friends stepped back and looked at each other and laughed. They were both filthy again.

“Buffy, why is it you and I can never stay clean?” Saiorse asked her through her laughter.

Spike turned to look for Buffy. He was beginning to be irritated by the people surrounding him. All he wanted was to see was she. Then he saw her standing next to Saoirse. She was trying to look over the heads of the people to find him. Then their eyes met and the world seemed to stop around them. He moved through the crowd to get to her side. It was just the two of them. She waited for him to make a move. Her body trembled at the thought of being close to him again. His eyes raked over her body and came back to look her in the eye again. He reached a hand up and dragged his thumb across her face.

“What have you been doing in my absence? Rolling in the dirt.” Spike was only joking in his nervousness but it came out as a criticism. As the words slipped from his mouth he saw the hurt in her eyes. She pulled away from muttering something about seeing him later after she had cleaned up. Every night for the past six months he had dreamed of her. Dreamed of the kiss they had shared and the feel of her body against him. And every day he had been afraid that a dream was it all it was. That when he returned she would have forgotten all about him.

Buffy shoved her way through the people without giving him a chance to apologize. Then he was hit in the chest. Saoirse was glaring at him.

“How could you be so stupid? All you have done is whine about coming home to her and as soon as you do you insult her. If she never talks to you again I certainly won’t blame her.” Saoirse finished telling him off and took off after Buffy.

The pain gripped at her heart. She couldn’t believe it. It had happened again. She had left her heart wide open and it had been stomped on. The faster she ran home the stronger the tears came. All she wanted to do was hide. Curl up somewhere so she could lose herself in the pain. Why was it every man she cared about ended up hurting her? Maybe one day she would learn. As she came through the door of the cottage she saw it. The sword she had made with love. Crossing to the table she carefully unwrapped and ran her hands down it’s length. So many expectations on this day and it had all turned to failure. Buffy turned to look as the front door opened. Saoirse walked over and hugged her.

“What’s this?” She asked as she stepped back from Buffy.

“It’s a present for Spike. I made it.” Then she briefly explained about her new endeavors.

“Well, you have been busy while we have been out there beheading bad guys.”

The two women sat down and began to catch each other up on everything. The expedition had been a success the overlords were no more. Saoirse told Buffy about the trip.

“Did he miss me?” Buffy asked as they reached a pause in their conversation.

“Does the sun shine? Yes, he missed you. I don’t know what happened to him today. Must be the fact that he is a man.” They both laughed. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up. And you and Spike can start over, okay?”

Buffy stood in front of the mirror and turned to look at herself. The grime was gone and she felt clean. The dress fit well. The bodice and the sleeves both had a touch of lace. It was a delicate sky blue. Spike had once told her that he loved her in that color. Besides it matched his eyes. Her hair was down for him. She had planned everything tonight to please him.

She wandered out to the main room again as she waited for Saoirse to finish getting ready. The sword was still out so she wrapped it back in its cloth. She glanced up as Saoirse came out carrying a bag.

“Where are you going?”

“I am going to spend the night at my grandparents. I think you and Spike need some alone time.” Saoirse told her with a grin. “Don’t argue. My mind is made up. If the two of you don’t get together soon I am going to die of frustration myself.”

“Thank you.” Buffy was touched by her gesture. It would be nice to have Spike alone. Provided she could find him and they could work things out.

They thought that Spike would be at Eachann’s, but when they got there Hannah told them that the two of them had gone down to the pub.

“Maybe I should just wait until tomorrow to see him.”

“No!” Both women told Buffy. Saoirse grabbed her hand and led her down to the pub. When they reached there she pushed her toward the door.

“Go get him Buffy! Claim what is yours before someone else does.” Saoirse told her as she shoved her through the door.

The pub was full of celebrating men and women. The noise was almost deafening. A drunk brushed by her giving her a leer. Where was he? She rose up on her toes to get a better look. He was at the bar with Eachann. They seemed to be telling tales with each. Eachann felt her gaze and looked at her. He raised a hand to wave at her and Spike turned to see what he was looking at. She had come. Even after he had been an ass. His original plan was to give her time to cool off then go make amends. She looked like an angel that had gotten lost in hell. She was radiant and beautiful. As he moved to join her a woman who had been trying to get his attention all night wrapped her arms around him. He quickly pulled her off before Buffy saw but it was too late. She was already turning to leave. Shoving his was through the crowd he fought to make his way to the door. But it was too late. When he finally got out the door she was already gone. Running his hands over his face he sighed in exasperation. It seemed he couldn’t get it right today. She kept coming to him but he kept messing up. There were only a few places that she would go so he set off to try to find her. To see if he could make things up to her.

Chapter 16 - From Here to Eternity

He had found her. A nymph in the moonlight. She was standing ankle deep in the surf. Her dress held up by one hand to keep it from the seeking waves. The wind gently played with her hair golden in the night. Her tears gently falling to join the sea.

Slowly and quietly he slid down the last of the path to the beach. He pulled his shoes from his feet and rolled the bottom of his pants up. His eyes never left her as he made his way across the sand to stand beside her. The water was cold as it slid over his feet. He dug his toes in and tried to figure out a way to say he was sorry. Somehow to make her believe that hurting her was never his intention.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” Her voice was as soft as the night around them. As heartbroken as the night’s last gasp before giving way to the dawn.

“How was it supposed to go?” He had turned to look at her.

“I’ve imagined it in a thousand ways. And every time it was perfect. Romantic, you know?” She swallowed as she tried to keep a sob down. A hand wiped a tear from her cheek. Then fell to caress the dress that she wore. “I had this dress made for tonight. I chose the color because you said you like it. You were going to see me in it and think I was beautiful.”

“You are beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” It was breaking his heart that he was the one to do this to her. He had waited so long for her and now he had ruined everything.

She laughed.

“It doesn’t count now.”

He sighed and turned back to look out over the ocean. Then she began to speak again.

“It was going to be like the movies. We’d see each other across the field. I start running and calling your name. You’d turn and see me. Then start running to me. You’d grab me and swing me off my feet.” She looked away from him and down to the water at her feet.

“Then there would be a big fade out on the kiss, huh?” If he hadn’t been so stupid this afternoon maybe that would have been how it went.

“I guess I’m a bit naïve and foolish.” Her toes began to create a wave around her.

“Never foolish, pet. A little stubborn and self-righteous maybe.”

She laughed at his teasing and swatted him across his arm. Then he smiled at her. A soft sly and sexy smile.

“There is this movie thing that I’ve always wanted to do. If you’re still into doing the movie thing.”

She looked up at him searching for a sign of his intentions but he only grinned at her. The thoughts of porn movies flitted through her mind.

“And what movie would that be?” She asked him cautiously.

Spike reached out and ran the back of his hand across her cheek. Then the fingers gently under her chin till he was cupping her other cheek. Taking a step closer to her he bent down and whispered in her ear.
“From Here to Eternity. I want to do that with you.”

Buffy was surprised that he would pick something so romantic. She felt her stomach clench as the image of them wrapped in each other arms while the surf rolled over them drifted through her mind. He was still standing so close to her. She was breathing him in as he continued to caress her cheek and ran his thumb over her lips. He waited while she thought it over. Waiting until she pushed him away. She slowly turned herself around so that her back was facing him. Reaching a hand up she pulled her hair off her back.

“I don’t want the dress to get ruined. Would you unbutton it for me?”

Spike reached trembling hands toward the top button. With fumbling fingers he began to undo her dress. His fingers gently following her back as he moved from button to button. The bottom one rested just above the curve of her buttocks. His fingers reached down to caress the flesh there. Then his hands followed her waistline down to her hips then further down to grasp the hem of her dress. He pulled it from her body leaving her in petticoat and camisole.

Turning he took her dress back to the rocks and laid it from harms way. Her scent clung to the material and teased him with what was to come. Glancing back at her to make sure she was real he quickly discarded his clothing into a pile on the sand.

He made his back to the water’s edge while she watched every step he took. With bold eyes she followed every muscled move he made. Laying claim to what her body soon would. Her eyes widening as she took in her first sight of his growing manhood. It seemed to take life of it’s own almost as if it knew she was hungry for it. When she realized she was staring she broke contact and made her way back to his amused eyes.

“Do you like what you see?” His voice was deep and husky.

“Ummm, I think I will like it better when I can feel it.”

He blinked for a moment and then groaned. A groan filled with all his need and love. He took a step closer so that he was a breath away from her. All she had to do was sigh and their bodies would make contact. Their nerve endings screaming that what they wanted was so close. But neither took a move to be closer. Her breasts threatened to spill from the top of her camisole yearning to make contact with his chest. Looking down into her passion filled eyes he bent his head closer. Every dream he had carried for years was about to come true. The anticipation was coursing through him. Nothing would be the same after tonight.

Still he didn’t bring his lips to hers. Waiting he listened to her breath and felt it on his face. Then she sighed in frustration and they made contact. The softness of her breasts and the hardness of her nipples feathered lightly against him. They were both startled at the jolt of lightening that coursed through them at the contact.

She gasped softly. Then it wasn’t enough anymore and she leaned forward. Until her breasts were resting on his chest and her belly pressed against his.

He stood there as she came to him. Taking her weight against him. Their eyes made contact again and her lips seeked his. He pulled back then leaned down until his lips were just above her. She moved restlessly against him. Her hands came up to rest against his waist. His tongue flicked out and tasted hers. Just a small taste of what he wanted so badly. She whimpered at his teasing. Then her tongue reached out to his mouth. She followed the curve of his mouth and dipped between his lips. Requesting entrance to his mouth. Opening his mouth to allow her in he waited for her. Feeling the coolness of his mouth she explored the planes of his teeth and tongue. She could taste the whiskey he had drunk earlier. As she started to slip from his mouth, his tongue reached for hers and invited it to mate with it. As their tongues danced together a groan filled the air but they weren’t sure as to who had made the sound.

He pulled her to him so there was no room between them. Hands winding through her hair holding her head so that she wouldn’t leave him. One step closer and they were standing thigh to thigh. His manhood pressed to her belly. Instinctively moving so that her heat was ground against him. She strained forward still not close enough to his body. Her hands roamed over him. Nails dug into his shoulder as he cupped her bottom to bring her closer to him. Their mouths only breaking contact so she could take in oxygen.

Wrapping an arm around her waist he bent her backwards until she was resting in the sand. The water lapped around their legs. A mewl of protest as he his lips moved to her neck. Nipping and sucking staking claim. They burnt a path down to her breasts his face rubbed against them feeling the softness of them against him. He listened to her heartbeat and her labored breathing. Her hands entwined them in his hair. Arching upward as he took her nipple into his mouth and suckled. A hand engulfed her other breast so that it wouldn’t feel neglected. The nipple rolled between adoring fingers. She moved restlessly under his ministrations.

“Spike, I need you.” Her plea came out on ragged breath.

He drew back as his hands drew the skirt of her petticoat to her waist. His head bent down to the bow holding her pantaloons together. Grasping the bow in his mouth he gently pulled it loose. His face buried between her legs he breathed in the scent of her arousal and gently lapped at the outside of her undergarments. Drawing back he pulled them from her body. His eyes feasting on what he had just felt. As her feet rose for him to finish removing them he held them as he tossed her underwear onto the beach. Gently separating her legs he moved between them. Her legs wrapping around his waist as he let go of them. Reaching between them he guided himself into her waiting warmth. A moan came in response to him filling her and stretching her walls to accommodate him. The heat of her was close to overwhelming him. Keeping himself propped on his hands so he could watch her every expression. He pulled back and thrust into her. As he came back into her she opened her eyes and stared up into the blueness of his.

As they became lost in the movement between them the water began to lap higher and higher around her body. The higher the water came to her the harder and deeper he moved in her. Her hands slipped from his waist and fell into the water. Creating a splash of water across her heated flesh. She dug her fingers into the sand as he pounded into her. He watched as the water spread across her belly and breast. Turning the white of her camisole transparent. Her nipples puckered from the cold of the water shone darkly through the material. Bending his head he took a taste of the salt water against her skin. She screamed as his tongue circled her areola sending her into an explosion of pleasure. His eyes darkened as he watched her come undone beneath him. Then her walls clamped down around him squeezing him as he growled in the sensation. He shuddered as the feelings overwhelmed him and he collapsed against her releasing his seed into her waiting depths.

Chapter 17 – Do You Give?

He buried his face in her shoulder as she panted beneath him. At first he thought he was panting in time with her then realized he was sobbing. He was on sensory overload from what had just happened. This moment was all he dreamed about when he closed his eyes at night. Her eyes had haunted him for the last six months. Now it had come to be truth. Making love to Buffy was more than he had thought possible. Her body giving more pleasure than anyone he had held before.

Raising his head he wiped the tears from his face. Not sure of how she would react he was trying to come up with something to cover his embarrassment. But the fates must have been listening as he looked down at her a wave came up and over them. They both scrambled up laughing as they wiped the water from their faces.

“Well, I guess we had better get up to the house. Get you warmed up.”

She was shivering in the night air. Her sodden undergarments clung to her every curve showing every crevice and valley. He reached a hand out to push a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. They walked in silence to where his clothes and her dress were. Holding out his duster she slipped into it. Pulling it tight around her to cover her and bring warmth to her frozen body. She looked away as he slipped on his pants. Gathering up the rest of their things he held a hand out to her. At first she hesitated then slipped her hand in his. They walked back to the cottage. Both hesitant to be the first to start talking.

Buffy was overwhelmed that he had cried after they had made love. This moment was something she had been looking forward to. The chance not to be alone anymore. It felt good to be loved again. To have someone to hold onto. To tell her that it would be okay. But she knew that it meant more to Spike than it did to her. She cared deeply for him. He had been a good friend and someone that she could always count on. But to label it love was something she was afraid to do. What if he left like everybody else? Without a soul would he turn on her?

When they reached the house she left him by the fire. She wanted to wash the salt water off of her. But more importantly to be alone for a few moments. To figure out what was going on with them and with her. As she stepped out from the water she reached for the towels she had left on the cabinet. But they were gone.

“Spike, did you take the towels?” She called out to him. “If you did it’s not funny. I’m freezing. Damn it.”

She turned to try to find something else to wrap around her when she heard him behind her. A warm towel was wrapped around her.

“I warmed them up for you. Knew you would be cold.” He explained to her as he held out the second towel for her hair.

Buffy looked up at him and her heart fell apart. Reaching up she pressed her lips to him. A gentle kiss of gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“Is it okay if I wash up?” He made a gesture toward the tub behind them.

“Of course.” Buffy turned and went into the bedroom to wait for him.

When he came into the room she was sitting on the bed combing out her hair. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment unsure of what to do next. She looked up at him admiring him. His naked form softly defined by the candlelight. Smiling at him she patted the bed next to her. Padding across the room he came to sit behind her. His legs stretched out on each side of her. She handed him the comb and he began to work through her tangles.

They both sat quietly while they adjusted to their new circumstances. Neither had thought they would end up sitting on a bed together with him nude and her wrapped in a towel. She looked around slowly to look at him intently combing out her hair. Leaning forward he planted a quick kiss on her mouth. Turning back around she laid her hands on his shins. His hair was coarse and springy beneath her fingers. Slowly her fingers made their way down to his feet. Softly caressing his toes. His feet were incredibly soft for a man.

“I like to have my toes sucked.” He whispered in her ear.

“Eew.” She dropped her hands from his feet drawing them back into her lap. “Spike, do you regret being a vampire?”

It was a question that had been nagging at her and decided just to ask. His hands froze as she asked. Then he slowly returned to his task.

“If I wasn’t a vampire then I never would have met you, pet.”

It wasn’t the answer she was looking for. How could she be with him if there was no regret for what he had done in his past?

“Do you ever regret the things you’ve done?” She tried another approach.

He sighed and leaned back against the headboard. Her questions weren’t something he wanted to deal with. He was who he was. What was done was done. Didn’t the fact that he was doing good now count with her? If he didn’t have the past that he did he wouldn’t the person he was now. He understood where she was coming from though. She was the Slayer. The Chosen One. For her to be with him went against everything she stood for. Had fought for. Died for. But he didn’t want her to justify being with him. He just wanted her to be with him because it was what felt right.

She didn’t look back at him as she waited for his reply. Drawing her legs up to her chest she bent her head and laid it on her knees. What if he didn’t regret it? What if he was just waiting for the chip to come out so he could kill again? It was hard for her to accept that would be the case. He was so different from the vampire she had met so long ago.

His hands came to rest on her shoulders. Squeezing them gently until he slowly brought them down her back and to her sides. She jumped at the tickling movement.

“You ticklish, Love?” He almost purred the words.

His hands came back to her sides and his fingers began to torture her. Pulling away from him she tried to roll to other side of his leg. But she ended up missing the bed altogether and landed on her back on the floor. Her towel stayed behind in his hands. Laughing he crawled off the bed and knelt on his hands and knees above her.

“Okay?” He asked her.

She was laying there on her back with her eyes closed. Opening her eyes slowly she looked up at him then down. Suddenly she was convulsed in giggles. He looked down at her perplexed. He hadn’t thought her falling off the bed was that humorous. Her hand came up and she pointed downwards. Tucking his head down he looked to where she was pointing. His penis was hanging there between them. And she couldn’t stop giggling about it.

“It’s not nice to laugh at a man like that.” He said in mock seriousness.

“I’m sorry.” But she kept on giggling.

Reaching a hand out to her he started to tickle her again. She rolled and started to crawl across the floor. He slapped her bottom as she took off. Then he started off after her.

Then there was: tickling, kissing, fondling, tumbling, grabbing, toe sucking, licking, biting, rolling and caressing.

Somehow they made it all the way into the main room. Spike pushed Buffy off of him where she had been licking his belly button. Sliding across the floor she fell into a small table against the wall. The vase on top of it started to topple.

“Oh, shit! Spike, grab the vase!”

He went to make a grab for it but it slipped past his fingers and shattered on the floor. Shrugging he started after her again which just made her start crawling again.

“Buffy to the right there is broken glass on your left.”

She went to move to the right but it was too late. There was a piece of glass wedged in her knee. Flipping over on her bottom she went to pull it out. But Spike was there and pushed her hand away. He quickly pulled the offending object from her. There was blood dripping from the wound. He bent over her leg and brought his mouth to the cut. As he began to suck on it a feeling of intense pleasure overwhelmed Buffy. She didn’t want to wait any more and just wanted him inside of her now.

Glancing over her shoulder she noticed the rug was only a few feet away. If she could make it to there then neither of them had to deal with the stone floor. Placing a foot on his shoulder she shoved him back against the wall. Flipping back over she made a beeline for the rug. Just as she had crawled into the center of it his hand reached out to grab her ankle. With a whoosh she landed on her stomach. He crawled toward her. Licking the back of her knee, nipping on her bottom and finally pushing her hair out of the way before coming to lie on top of her. He kissed her neck right below the jaw line while his hand rested on her hip.

“You give?” He asked her as his tongue ran around her ear.

“I give. Do you give?”

“I will in just a moment.”

He moaned and slid down so that he rested between her legs. Buffy tried to flip over but Spike held her down.

“Stay where you are.” He told her as he guided her to curl her leg up.

Resting on one elbow he directed himself to her moist center. Then surged forward to fill her. As he drew himself back to thrust again her hand shot around to grab his buttocks.

“Spike, stop.”

“What’s wrong? You not ready?”

“I’m sorry. I am still sore from earlier. I need you to be gentle this time.” She was embarrassed to explain this to him. But she felt raw and couldn’t take him being rough again.

“Was I too hard on you?”

She glanced around to see if he was being arrogant but all she was concern in his eyes.

“No, it’s just…well, it’s been a long time and umm you’re more than I’m used to.”

“Really?” He couldn’t believe she had just said that.

“Really.”

“Than anyone?” He just needed verification.

She laughed.

“Spike, don’t make it sound like there’s been dozens. There have only been three. And by the way while you are basking in your manhood I am losing the mood here.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to take care of that.”

He then proceeded with his hands and mouth to bring her back into the mood. And when she was his basking manhood joined in and led her to the edge of the precipice. Then he tumbled with her into the abyss.

Chapter 18 – Reality in Daylight

The sunlight drifted across the room and across the couple sleeping in the bed. Dust danced along the sunbeams that tickled the man awake. After all this time of being able to be in the sunlight he still couldn’t sleep in it. He rose from the bed trying not to disturb her. She was beautiful lying there. Her only covering was the sheet that was caught on the rise that led down to her rump. Sleeping on her stomach her head resting on the pillow. Her hair was spread out golden in the sunlight. She was an angel that had fallen from grace because she had come to love a soulless vampire. At least he had assumed that she loved him. He sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he made his way to the front room.

He had told her over and over of his love last night. Not once had she returned the words. She said it in her touch and her murmurs of pleasure. But it still left a feeling of unrest in his stomach. He crossed to the table and picked up the wrapped sword. As he pulled the cloth from it he thought that Buffy would probably be angry that he was looking at it. But curiosity won out and he dropped the cloth on the table as he pulled the sword from it's protective covering. He wondered whom it was for as he ran his fingers along the blade. The entwined S & B carved on the ricasso caught his eye and he held it up so that he could make sure that was what it was. But the thought of it being for the two of them was quickly dismissed. It had to stand for Buffy Summers.

“It’s for you. A welcome home present to let you know how proud I am of you.”

He turned quickly at the sound of her voice. She came into the room wrapped only in a sheet.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.” He bent to kiss her on the cheek. It was incredibly touching that she had given him such a gift.

“I made it.”

“You what?”

“I made it. You are looking at Ian’s newest apprentice.” She was proud of her new status and hoped he would be too.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Can you make a sentence that is longer than one or two words anymore?” Laughing up at him she brought his face down to hers for a kiss.

Spike somehow got the sword back to the table before she pulled him down to the floor. And for a while neither of them spoke.

Later in the morning they had gone separate ways. She was going to go and visit with Saoirse while Spike went to see Eachann. They had kissed in the road before they separated. Eachann was glad to see his friend. They hugged while they slapped each other on the back. The two men talked about the trip that Spike had just returned from. Once Eachann had been completely filled in the conversation turned to a more personal level.

“So, you and Buffy are together now?’

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Spike told him with a grin on his face. “Did you see the sword she made me? It's a real beaut.”

“I saw it. She worked on that thing real hard. Must really have cared about the man she was making it for to put that much work into it.” Eachann told him slyly. He was glad that his friends had finally gotten together. He had never seen a man as happy as Spike was this morning.

Hannah came bustling into the room bringing them tea.

“So, Buffy decided to go ahead and claim you before someone else did?” She asked Spike.

“What do you mean?” His heart had done a thump at her words.

“You’re like a hero in these parts. All the single women have been talking about you. I guess Buffy decided not to give you a chance to get away. That’s all.” Hannah laughed. She knew that no one else would have a chance with Spike. His heart only belonged to that girl and she had finally come to her senses.

Spike left their home a short while later. He needed to be alone and headed for the cliffs. Standing there with the breeze blowing about him his mind went over what Hannah had said. It would explain Buffy not telling him that she loved him. She had come to him so she could keep him dangling until she made up her mind. A part of him told him that he was crazy to think that way. The sword alone proved she cared. But the part of him that had always been insecure held onto it. He remembered Cecily and Buffy both saying he was beneath them. Drusilla had left him saying he wasn't good enough for her anymore. Even the ditz Harmony had left him. Fear clutched at him at the thought that Buffy would leave him one day. That she was just keeping him on the line until something better came along.

Buffy left Saoirse’s grandparent's house determined to finally tell Spike her feelings. She was ready to say, I love you, to him. Her questions from last night hadn't been answered. But he had to regret it didn't he? How could he not when he looked back on what he did? As she approached the cottage she could see him standing on the cliffs looking out over the ocean. Her stomach got more tied up in knots the closer she came to him. He turned his head to look at her. She smiled at him.

“Spike, I want to tell you something.”

“Buffy, I think we should get married. I don’t want people to think that you’re just my mistress or something.” He spoke without giving her a chance to finish. He had to ask before he lost his nerve. If she wanted to be sure of holding onto him then she should be willing to take the step to ensure it. He was willing to call her bluff and see what she did with it.

Buffy stared at him in surprise. He seemed almost angry or hurt. There was a wall of some sort between them that hadn't been there this morning. She was afraid if she said no she would lose him forever. It seemed to be an unspoken ultimatum. She remembered when Willow had done that spell on them. Spike had been so solemn when he had asked her to marry him then. They had been so happy. She wanted it that way again. Not this tension filled proposal. But it just didn't seem meant to be that way.

“Yes, Spike, I will marry you.”

She saw his eyes widen. He was surprised because he didn’t think she would say yes. She walked toward him and he pulled her toward him. They stood wrapped in their own insecurities. He was hoping that she loved him and she was hoping that he was what she wanted him to be.

Chapter 19 – Love, Honor and Obey

The morning broke sunny and clear. The sky was its brightest blue and only white fluffy clouds dotted its landscape. Flowers were blooming everywhere.

Saoirse woke to the sound of crying. She scrambled from her bed and rushed to Buffy’s room. Buffy was sitting in the middle of her bed sobbing.

“Honey, what’s wrong? It’s your wedding day, you’re supposed to be happy.” Saoirse rushed to her side and engulfed her in a hug. Buffy just kept crying as her friend rocked her.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Willow was supposed to be my maid of honor. And Dawn and Anya were supposed to be there. Giles was going to give me away.” Buffy was finally starting to calm down. Saoirse smiled at her and wiped her tears away with the corner of the sheet.

“I’m sorry. I wish they could be here for you.”

Buffy realized that she had probably had hurt her new friend. Saoirse was going to stand up with her today. Hannah was going to be there too.

“Saoirse, it’s not that I don’t want you there.” Buffy stammered out.

“I know. It’s hard when you spend your childhood dreaming of how your wedding will be and it doesn’t happen that way.” Saoirse thought of her own broken dreams and the wedding that hadn’t happened. She turned her head to look out the window.

“Oh, Saoirse, I’m sorry. I am grateful that this is happening. Besides even at home it wouldn’t happen that way. They would refuse to be involved if I was marrying Spike.” She hugged her friend back. Saoirse was a good friend. She could never take Willow’s place but it was close.

She looked around at her room. Tonight it would be Spike’s room too. Saoirse was moving in with her grandparents and leaving the cottage to the newlyweds. It had been built for marriage and she said that it should be filled with love and happiness.

“Well, I guess it’s time we start getting ready.” Buffy stood up and reached for her friend’s hand.

“Where in the blazes is Spike?” Eachann was questioning Hans. They were both standing up with Spike on his wedding day. But he was missing. Everyone was in place. Buffy and the girls were in the tent waiting for the ceremony to start. Buffy was about ready to fall apart. Saoirse and Hannah kept trying to keep her calm by telling he would show. Something had to have happened. He had been there earlier but had disappeared a little ago without telling anyone where he was going.

“He’s coming. He’s coming.” Someone yelled out and heads turned toward the road. Spike was running toward the gathering. His hair was loose and flowing behind him as he ran. A big grin was across his face as he stopped near Eachann.

“Sorry, I had to do something for later. It took longer than I thought.” He explained to his friends.

“Ready?” Eachann clapped him on the back and directed him toward the priest.

“Yeah, let’s get this done.”

Hannah told Buffy he was back and it was time. She picked up her bouquet and walked out first. Saoirse followed. Finally Buffy started down the aisle on Ian’s arm. Spike turned to look at his bride to be and if his heart were beating it would stop at the sight of her.

Her hair had been curled and she wore it loose. A wreath of spring flowers encircled her head. She wore a sleeveless white dress with an empire cut. Embroidered on the bodice in gold thread was a design that had no beginning and no end. It was to symbolize the eternal love of the couple.

As she walked down the aisle her eyes never wavered from Spike. There was no doubt in either mind that this was what they wanted.

Spike said his vows with a quavering voice. The tears kept threatening to spill from his eyes but as long as he kept his eyes on Buffy’s smile then it would be all right.

She said her vows in a strong voice promising to love, honor and obey. Though she did giggle when the vows asked her to promise to be bonnie and buxom in bed.

In the two weeks from the time that Spike had asked her to marry him and now they had not been together again. Not even to kiss so when they were pronounced man and wife Eachann practically had to pry them apart.

The rest of they day passed in high spirits. There was a huge amount of food because everyone in the village had wanted to contribute something. At the cutting of the cake Spike had been respectful and not shoved in her face. She seductively sucked the icing from his fingers.

After everyone had eaten it was time for the dancing. She had never known Spike to dance so she figured they wouldn’t do much but he surprised her. They spent the afternoon trying to follow the dances of Moralynn and showing them other dances. Buffy was surprised at how comfortable Spike was on the dance floor but as he twirled her across the floor she fell in love all over again.

The day passed in a haze of happiness. Nothing could have brought either Spike or Buffy down. They had pledged to be together forever and were surrounded by new friends. But soon it was time for the festivities to end. They hugged their friends goodnight and made their way home. Spike insisted on carrying Buffy over the threshold. As they came through the doorway he put her down. Kissed her quickly and stood there smiling.

“Turn around.” Spike put his hands on her shoulder and turned her toward the large wall in the main room.

When Buffy turned toward the wall tears came to her eyes.

“That’s what I was doing before the wedding. Hanging those up. I wanted them to be in place when you got home.” He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

Hanging on the wall were sketches. The large ones in the middle were of her mother and Dawn surrounded by smaller sketches of Giles, Willow, Xander and Anya. It was his wedding present to her. Their faces had been fading even from his mind and didn’t want her to ever forget.

Buffy still crying turned to hug her husband.

“Thank you, Spike. That was so sweet. Thank you.” She ran her hand down his cheek and pulled him down to kiss him. She was touched that he would be so thoughtful. “I think you get to choose first tonight.”

“Yeah, Love?” He scooped her up into his arms and headed for the bedroom.

Chapter 20 – The Space Between

After the war Moralynn needed to be rebuilt. Entire villages had been destroyed and families left without homes. Eachann asked Spike to help in the task of rebuilding the land of Moralynn. Spike worked with Eachann in creating a new government for Moralynn. From the two of them they directed others to help the villages rebuild or to restore order. Spike found that doing this kind of work gave him the creative outlet that he needed. To be constantly brainstorming to find a new or better way of doing things. At first his normal tendencies came through to just see the large picture and not the details. But after a few mistakes he began to concentrate more and learned to ask for help when he needed it. Eachann was always there to help him out and give him guidance. After a while Eachann stepped back because Spike was handling the responsibilities and decisions by himself.

They knew that Moralynn would always have to contend with demons and the like. Now that the overlords were gone everything and everyone that had been in hiding were now coming out. Demons, witches, warlocks and other mystical beings were being seen again on a regular basis. Buffy was chosen to continue to patrol the borders of their village at night to protect them from the ones that were evil. She and Saoirse started training others to help with this defense.

Married life was almost an afterthought. They were both constantly busy with conflicting schedules. Along with patrolling and training Buffy also continued to take commissions for swords. Since his food was more liquid than solid they rarely came together at mealtimes. The two never talked about the doubts and insecurities they had. They carefully skirted around these issues and kept themselves busy.

The only time they really connected was during sex. In the giving and taking of pleasure there was no room for doubt. They constantly took each other higher with their lack of inhibitions. There was very little they didn’t try or any place they didn’t do it. But there was never a lack of respect for the others needs. If they weren’t both okay with it they didn’t do it. There were also moments of tenderness between them when they were both able to let their heart come through to the other.

Almost two years into the marriage Buffy gave birth to their first child. Her pregnancy and the subsequent birth were both easy for her. When Spike heard that she was pregnant he had a moment of doubt in his role in the conception. It was very rare when a vampire could impregnate a human. He had never felt secure in his relationship with Buffy and was scared that there was someone else. But his doubts were erased when he held his son, Brone, in his arms for the first time. Spike looked down into his son’s face and saw his own eyes.

The two were building a life together but there was always a space between them. A space filled with his insecurities, the lies he had told her about the portal, her fears of being left alone and her unease of him being a vampire. A space that gradually grew larger as neither would admit to their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. A space that would be blown apart on Brone’s second birthday.

Eachann and Hannah had insisted on holding Brone’s party at their cottage. Their youngest child was roughly the same age as Brone. After the war a lot of babies had been born in Moralynn so Brone had plenty of children to attend his birthday. His parents were there to dote on him and spoil him with as many presents as they could manage. The party had gone well and quite a few parents got their children back exhausted and stuffed with cake. Spike had taken Brone home to try to settle him down for a nap while Buffy stayed and helped Hannah clean up the mess that fifteen toddlers and young children could create.

The two women were in the kitchen putting away the last of the dishes. The conversation had been the innocent chatter of two friends that were comfortable with each other.

Hannah had always known the truth of what had happened with the portals. She knew that Spike hadn’t told Buffy everything in an effort to protect her. But somewhere in the passage of time and their marriage she had assumed the truth had been told and forgiven. As Buffy handed her the last bowl to put away she turned to her friend and gave her a hug.

“I am so glad that you are here. That the two of you didn’t conjure up a portal and leave us.” She realized the impact of her words as Buffy froze. “Oh, dear, you did know? Please tell me you knew.”

Buffy pulled away from Hannah a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“What do you mean conjure up a portal?”

Hannah attempted to cover up her words but Buffy insisted on knowing the truth. The truth that meant that Spike was still Spike. She had trusted him and he had betrayed her. He hadn’t changed after all. After stumbling through a good-bye to Hannah she took off for home in a fit of anger.

Buffy charged through the front door of their cottage. She checked to make sure that Brone was asleep in his room and went to find Spike. He was in their kitchen putting together a snack for the two of them. He had hoped that with Brone asleep he and Buffy could have some time alone. He heard her checking on their son and waited for her to find him. He turned to her as she came into the kitchen.

“Hello, Love.”

He looked up when she didn’t say anything and saw the fury on her face. The next thing he knew he was lying on his back across the room and she was coming straight for him. Not once in the time that they had been here had she hit him. He quickly tried to stand but as he did Buffy punched him in the face again.

“What? Buffy, stop for a minute! What’s wrong?” The pain from the punches was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He was more surprised than physically hurt.

She grabbed him by his shirt and threw him up against the wall.

“The portal. You lied about the portal.” She backhanded him again. All her pain of being away from home and from Dawn was pouring through her fist. The tears were starting to come. She hated the weakness that Spike could give her.

As she went to hit him again he blocked her arm. When he made contact with her she brought her foot down on his and pushed him away from her. This time he stayed down.

“I did what I thought was best. The portals most likely wouldn’t have worked. The chances of us getting home that way wasn’t worth the chance.” The tears poured down his face as his Buffy slipped away from him. The illusion was finally shattered.

She looked down at him in contempt.

“You lied to keep me here. So, you could get your fantasy to come true. Was it worth it? Was I good enough?” She wiped the tears from her eyes.” Oh, God I willingly gave myself to you. To you a soulless vampire. I feel sick at the thought of it.”

He stood and through his tears told her.

“And you enjoyed every minute of it.”
She quickly turned and slapped him.

“I hate you. It’s over. You will never have me again.”

“And what about our son? Have you forgotten about him?”

Buffy turned on her heel and stormed down the hallway. She quickly changed into pants and one of Spike’s shirts. She grabbed his duster and pulled it on as she headed back to the main room. Finally she grabbed her sword and pulled its sheath over her head.

“Are you leaving us then?” Spike was sitting at the table. He never looked up at her as she got herself ready to go. “I’ll tell you everything. The truth this time.”

“And what makes you think I would believe you?”

“Ask Eachann or Hannah they’ll tell you the truth.” He didn’t want her to go.

“They have lied this long for you. The great Spike. The leader and conquering hero. They don’t know you the way I do. You have them all fooled. You even had me fooled for a while. But not anymore.” Buffy turned toward the door and reached a hand out for the knob.

“Where will you go?” He figured if he kept asking questions it would hold her here until he could figure a way to make her believe.

“I am going to go and see the witch and find out the truth myself. Find a way for me and my son to go home.”

Buffy walked out the door and headed for her horse she had left tied outside. She and Spike had been so involved in their conversation they hadn’t seen Brone creep from his room. As she mounted her horse and turned to head for the road she heard him call her. Spike ran after their son and grabbed him before he could get near the horse. Buffy turned and saw her son being carried into the house. He was hanging over Spike’s shoulder. His tiny hand reached out for her and he was crying, “Mama, back, Mama”.

The tears were falling faster now but she needed to know the truth. Not Spike truth. The truth as it really was. As much as she hated Spike right now she knew that he would take care of Brone. It was more important for her to find a way a home so she turned her horse around and headed for the witch’s mountain.

Chapter 21 – A Mirror to My Soul

The further up the mountain that Buffy rode the more beautiful it became. The woods became more open and there were flowers everywhere. There was a small stream that she had to cross that was clear blue. She remembered that Spike had told her that it was dark and nasty up here. But apparently he had lied about that also.

She came upon a clearing with a small cottage in it. The small dwelling was in the middle of a beautiful garden. There were benches to sit on and small statues of fairies and gnomes hidden among the blooms. There was such a feeling of peace here that Buffy came to tears again. As she stood and cried for her foolish heart a woman came out to her.

“Oh, dear, come in, come in. Can’t have you standing outside crying your eyes out, can we?” She put an arm around Buffy and led her inside. By the fireplace were two chairs and the woman led Buffy there and made her sit. She disappeared into a back room but returned a few moments later with a tray. Laying the tray on a table she offered Buffy a cup of tea.

She sat in the chair across from Buffy. As she poured the tea Buffy studied the woman across from her. She was elderly but not ancient with a kind face. She reminded Buffy of the fairy godmother from Cinderella. Buffy reached for the teacup that was offered and took a small sip of the tea. It had a hint of cinnamon and apples. She took a few more swallows of the warm liquid and felt it seep into her conscious. Leaning her head onto the back of the chair Buffy began to feel the tension leave her body. There was no pressure here and it felt good.

“So, dear, why have you come to visit me?”

Buffy opened her eyes and leaned forward to put her cup on the table. She slowly explained to the woman about Spike lying to her about the portals. That she had come to find the truth.

“Your husband lies to you a lot? Is he a bad husband in other ways also?”

“No, as far as I know that’s the only lie he’s told me. But he kept this lie for so long maybe he is keeping other things from me too.” Buffy was trying to avoid the second question because Spike wasn’t really a bad husband. He was always doing little things to make her happy.

“Oh, the morning after you made love for the first time was he there? Or was he out terrorizing your friends?” The woman asked.

Buffy looked at the woman in surprise and wondered how she could have known something like that.

“No, but that wasn’t Angel’s fault he lost his soul when we made love.”

“Oh, so Spike has a soul?” The woman kept digging.

“Well, no.”

“So, Spike has never done that to you and he never had a soul?”

“Right. Well, at least not since we made love.” Buffy was beginning to see where the woman was leading this but didn’t want to follow.

“Has your husband ever cheated on you?”

“No.” She knew the woman was talking about Riley and his vampire whore.

“How many times has Spike almost died for you, your family and friends?” The woman didn’t care that Buffy didn’t want to see. “How many times has he sacrificed himself or his very nature as a vampire to help you?”

“He is an evil soulless vampire!” This woman did not know Spike. He must have fooled her when he was up here too. “He has killed hundreds of innocent humans. The only reason he stopped was because of the chip in his head.”

“Isn’t that his nature as a vampire to feed on humans?” The woman kept plugging for the vampire.

“Yes, it is. But he can’t do it anymore without the pain almost killing him.” The woman was beginning to wear down her defenses.

“When he got this chip that prevents him from attacking humans where did he turn for help?”

“To me and my friends. But he was only helping us for money.” Her reasoning was falling apart.

“What would you have done if this evil soulless vampire had come to you with his heart on his sleeve and asked for mercy. If he came to you and asked for help to become good? What would you have done?”

“Laughed at him? I wouldn’t have taken him seriously. Probably figured he was up to one of his schemes.” Buffy leaned forward with her arms resting on her legs. She didn’t want to look at Spike this way. It made him seem too human. A creature capable of good and bad. A creature worthy of redemption without a soul. And it scared her.

The woman leaned forward and grasped Buffy’s hands.

“Has the evil soulless vampire ever left you in doubt of his feelings? Has he ever left your child screaming for him?” The woman’s words took the very breath from her and made her look into the mirror of her own fallible soul.

“Child, don’t you think your soul is big enough for both of you. They say that true love is two people with halves of the same soul. So, you got all of it and he didn’t get any does it really matter?” She dropped one of Buffy’s hands and held the other one as she made a small cut on one of her fingers. Like she did with Spike she let a drop of blood fall into the teacup. She swirled it around and threw it into the fire.

The woman sat back and stared into the fire. She almost smiled and turned to Buffy.

“From his seed and your womb will come hope for the world. You are truly destined to be one.”

The woman sat back and stared into the fire. She almost smiled and turned to Buffy.

“From his seed and your womb will come hope for the world. You are truly destined to be one.”
Promise to His Lady Part 4