Chapter 30 – Away from the Sun
‘Cause now I’ve found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I’m so far down, away from the sun
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
It’s down to this
I’ve got to make this life make sense
3 Doors Down
It hadn’t been planned. It
was just an instinctive need for them to gather to discuss what was going on
under their very noses. The Slayers going wild couldn’t be blamed all on one
person, but it fell upon the shoulders of everyone accountable to them.
Although, the leaders
concerned were all too ready to point the blame at each other. After the girls
were dismissed Giles, followed by Angel, Max, Faith and the ever present
annoyance that was Dylan gathered in the head Watcher’s office.
Angel refused to acknowledge
his childe’s partner, even with a glance as he sat in
a heavy leather chair by the desk. Max remained standing with his arms crossed
hoping to intimidate the man Faith was sitting next to. Giles had hurried off
to get a fresh pot of tea for them. The room was fraught with tension. No one
wanted to be the first to introduce the subject that was weighing heavily on
their minds.
Even though he tried to make
it appear like he was studying his fingernails, Angel was busy observing the
others. He didn’t feel particularly guilty over the situation. He was really
only a name on the masthead of the school. These people were there on a daily
basis. It was their job and responsibility to run the school. He left them in
charge to train the Slayers, and to keep everyone in line. There should already
have been rules in place to ensure the girls were kept in line with a strict
adherence to them. Discipline was everything.
“I’m sorry it took so long,”
Giles apologized, hurrying into the room with the tea tray unaware of the
tension there. He took a seat in the matching mate of the chair that Angel sat
in. “The cook had put the tea kettle in the cabinet and I couldn’t locate it
right away.”
“Its fine, Giles,” Faith
said, sitting up to pour the tea. This wasn’t her first time doing this chore, as
she proceeded to fix Giles a cup without asking how he liked it, then Max’s. It
was only when she was pouring a cup for Angel that she looked up. “Sugar,
cream?”
“Neither,” Angel replied
with a smile, reaching for the cup.
Faith next prepared a cup
for Dylan heavy with sugar and cream. Angel surmised the worthless pup wasn’t
enough of a man and had to drink like a child would. Dylan met his eyes for a
moment. There was defiance in their depths but without his protector, Spike,
there he soon broke eye contact with the unflinching vampire.
“I feel that we need to put
some type of alarm system on the building,” Giles said, being the first to
speak up. “We can no longer operate on a trust system.”
“Agreed,” Angel said. “There
are a few people I trust outside the Wolfram & Hart organization to do the
job. I’ll give their name and number to Max before I leave tonight.”
“Very good,” Giles said.
“How do all of you feel about not letting the girls leave the premises for any
reason for a period of two weekends? If they are cooped up here, they might
come to appreciate their freedom a little more.”
“It sounds like an excellent
idea,” Max said, rocking back on his feet. “However, I feel that addressing the
staff on their own behavior around the girls is also a good idea.”
“We have our regularly
scheduled meeting on Tuesday,” Giles said, sitting back in his chair. “This
whole situation will be discussed in length with input on solutions from all
the staff members. Of course, I will reiterate that our behavior influences
them, but I have a feeling you are referring to someone in particular.”
“I think he’s talking about
me,” Faith said, standing so she was on the same level as her accuser. “Aren’t
you?”
The room was laden with
unresolved issues between the two facing off. Pain flickered across Max’s
countenance before he hid it carefully behind a mask of indifference. Faith’s
emotions were easily read on her features. A mixture of defiance, hurt,
confusion and guilt fought for dominance. The two would soon be losing sight of
the most important issue here and turn it into a personal battle. One they
couldn’t afford to indulge at the moment.
“Both of you sit down right
now,” Angel said. He stood so Max could have his seat then turned to address
Giles. “I think Max was referring to the fact that the girls learned of the
clubs from Faith.”
“Is this true, Faith?”
“I don’t make it a habit to go
around giving details about my personal life to the girls.”
“Is there a chance they
might have overheard you?” Angel asked. “I believe that you wouldn’t confide in
them, but there may have been discussions they eavesdropped on or perhaps a
comment about what you did over the weekend that might have given them ideas.”
Faith sighed and turned her
eyes down to stare at her hands clenched together. However the girls had found
out, it wasn’t intentionally given to them by Faith. She was trying her best to
fit in, to be a responsible adult, and still be a friend to her charges. It was
hard enough for anyone to balance the two, much less someone like Faith who had
very few role models growing up.
“It’s possible,” Faith admitted.
“You haven’t done anything
wrong,” Dylan gloated, setting his cup down on the table. “Don’t let them bully
you into taking blame for this.”
“You stay out of it,” Max warned,
leaning forward. “Faith has got to see that everything she does influences
those girls. Buffy is married and that is so far out of their realm of thinking
that they turn to Faith to be their role model. She has to watch every move she
makes around them.”
“You’re just jealous,” Dylan
said, scooting forward on the sofa. “Faith threw you aside and is having more fun
with me so you want to squash it. Kill her spirit.”
“Stop it,” Angel growled.
“Dylan, back off, no one here is going to lay all the blame on Faith. We are
all on a learning curve here. Faith included. So, we are going to have to take
our lumps as they come and try to do better.”
The pup sat back but he
continued to glare at the three men that surrounded him. Faith hadn’t said
anything else so Dylan had to be feeling left out in the cold. He couldn’t
bluff his way through all of them without support from someone else.
“Max is right,” Faith said,
sighing. “I…I did tell one of the girls about my date with Dylan on Saturday. He
and I went to that club last weekend.”
“What the hell are you doing
taking her to dives like that?” Max yelled. He jumped to his feet again. “My
god what kind of idiotic fool are you?”
“She was having fun,” Dylan spat,
standing to face off with the older man. “It’s something that you wouldn’t
understand how to do, old man.”
Angel stepped between them.
“Dylan, you need to leave.”
“You can’t just kick me
out,” Dylan postured. “I’m here on an invitation from Spike.”
“I really don’t care,” Giles
said, standing. “Your presence is having a very negative effect and the sooner
you are gone, the sooner we can all settle things in a responsible manner.”
“Fine, don’t want to be
around a bunch of old suits anyway. You coming with me,
Faith?” Dylan asked, holding his hand out.
Faith shook her head. Tears
were running down her cheeks as she looked from one to the other. “No, my place
is here, Dylan. I was wrong and I need to find a way to make amends. Call me
tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Dylan
said, before turning to walk away, slamming the door behind him.
“Faith,” Max said.
“No, don’t,” Faith said,
holding her hand up. “I can’t deal with you right now. Can we continue this
tomorrow?”
“Of course, Faith,” Giles
said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “It’s late and it has been a very rough
night on us all. Go get some rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” she said,
leaving even as she spoke. It was obvious the burden of guilt was weighing heavily
on her. At least they could be relieved by her behavior that she took the
burden of being a role model seriously.
“Max, don’t be so hard on
her,” Angel said. “She’s trying.”
The younger man ran a hand
through his hair as he heaved a sigh. “I know. I’m just frustrated with the
whole situation. She has so much potential and she wants to throw it all away
on having fun with a lying two bit punk like Dylan.”
“I think we all can agree
with you there,” Giles said, with a smile. “We need to be patient with her though
and try to show her the difference through our behavior. Faith doesn’t take to
ultimatums or force very well.” He held his hand up. “And I do understand the
urgency of this situation which has to be separate from her relationship with
either you or Dylan.”
“I understand,” Max said,
nodding. “She’s right. It’s late and I’m reacting instead of dealing so unless
there’s something else I’m going to check in on Buffy and Spike then head back to
my place.”
“Yes, yes,” Giles said,
taking his glasses off and pinching his nose. “I think we’ll all be able to
think better after some much needed rest.”
“I’ll walk with you,” Angel
said.
After a quick goodnight to
Giles, the two men headed to check in on their friends. Angel finding humor in
the fact that Max and he had finally found common ground. They both hated the
new man in their group with a fiery burning passion. Knowing his luck, Angel
would eventually become friends with the man walking beside him. There were
enough reasons for them to be, but he decided Max would have to be the one to
initiate it. Angel still had to have the upper hand according to his rank and
file in his traditional way of thinking.
~~~~~~~~
The waning evening sky stretched out before him in
endless promises of heaven. The ground beneath his feet was the rocky sand of
the desert. To his right was a small isle of greenery, thick with trees and
bushes. It was no place he’d ever been before, but somehow Elijah felt
comfortable here. He looked down at his hands, at the dark hair that littered
the back of his fingers. He wasn’t a boy anymore but a man. This was who he
would be one day. There wasn’t a mirror or even a pool of water to see what he
looked like. But his body was well muscled, his hands calloused and his hair
was pulled back in a ponytail. There was nothing soft about him. Not even his
heart as he felt the pull of despair within him. The world had fallen from his
grasp. Now it was only the barren land he stood upon.
“Look around you, boy,” The First declared, appearing
before him. No dead shell to hide in. The beast stood proudly in his natural
state. A fiery demon encased the black heart of a being who had feasted on all
the sins of the world. They had fed him well when they had turned upon one
another. “This is all that’s left of your world. Your people are buried under
the rocks that were once their cities. No one could stand firm in the truth.
They have all failed you.”
“No, you lie,” Elijah declared. His family wouldn’t
let him down. His father had promised. “This is a trick. A
mind fuck to make me believe you.”
Claws reached for him, blood dripping from the
fingertips, but then one bony digit pointed to the small oasis. “See for
yourself.”
Deep within a tree, a bird hopped onto the edge of a
nest. Its cackle echoed around them in a last gasp of hope. Elijah shaded his
eyes with his hand to see more clearly. The bird flapped its mighty wings and
took off. Silhouetted against the sky, Elijah recognized it as a raven. A chill
ran through him as he watched the bird fly off, away from its home, and toward
the left.
“No one left to carry the message you bear,” The
First taunted.
In that moment he knew they were losing.
The next moment he woke up
still a little boy safe in his home. He searched for his sister within the
fathomless world of his soul. The pain was overwhelming as he opened the
barrier between them. Then it faded as the gate closed again. Raven didn’t
welcome his presence. She refused to answer his pleas and he knew she was
succumbing to her own fears.
He rolled from the bed,
racing down the hallway to the guest room where Connor slept. Not bothering to
knock he barreled into the room, stopping only when he reached the bedside.
“Connor, wake up,” Elijah
called, shaking his friend’s shoulder. “Please, wake up.”
“What’s the matter?” Connor
asked, sitting up and pushing his hair away from his face. He reached for the
boy. “Are you all right?”
“It’s Raven,” Elijah said,
grabbing the hands extended to him. “She’s in trouble.”
Connor didn’t waste time. He
jumped from the bed and headed for the phone in one liquid movement. His
fingers were dialing the phone and Elijah hoped that they weren’t too late.
~~~~~~~
Someone was crying for her.
Buffy opened her eyes, assessing the situation. The sound was muffled. It was
Raven who was weeping. Spike was holding her tight against him and it took her
a moment to extricate herself from his grasp. He moaned when she stood.
“Shush, luv,”
Buffy murmured, stroking his cheek until he quieted again. She sighed as she
accepted that her words a few hours ago had shaken him to the core. His sleep
had been erratic. He thrashed around, mumbling words that didn’t make sense to
her. But she knew he dreamed of them. The ones who spoke to a part of him that
she couldn’t reach. She could only hope that if he knew his choices mattered
beyond their marriage, it would help him make the right ones.
Free from Spike, Buffy
hurried into the clinic and to her daughter’s side.
“Raven, I’m here, baby,”
Buffy said. Her fingers brushed the girl’s hair from her face. “Are you in pain,
sweetie? Do you want me to call Kate?”
“No,” Raven said. “Don’t
call anyone. I don’t want to see anyone.”
“Okay, whatever you want.”
Raven rolled over on her
back. She pushed her mother’s hand away from her.
“I’ve decided that I’m
leaving. My parent’s trust fund became available to me when I turned eighteen.
I’m going to use that to go away.”
“Why?”
Raven’s announcement
couldn’t have stunned her more. In only two days her daughter’s personality had
completely turned around. Buffy stared at her then slowly shook her head hoping
it would help. It didn’t. Her feelings of loss sifted through her memories
until it found what it needed. She was a failure again. Dawn being drug out of
the house by social services because she couldn’t handle the responsibility. If
she was a good mother, she would know what to say to comfort Raven. Her
daughter wouldn’t feel the need to run away from her.
“Raven, I understand,” Buffy
tried again. She covered the girl’s hand with her own. “Please, talk to me. I
love you so much and I want to help you get through this.”
“Leave,” Raven ordered. “I
don’t want to talk to any of you. I’ll be gone in the morning.”
“I know things are confusing
right now,” Buffy said. “But you don’t have to be alone.”
“No, for the first time
things are perfectly clear,” Raven said. “I don’t belong here.”
A chill ran through Buffy as
she stared into Raven’s usually vibrant blue eyes. They were cold as ice. It
was as if the soul that fueled them was gone. There was no warmth, no link
between the two women left. Raven was cut off from her as surely as if she was
already gone.
In the corner where neither
saw a figure watched, laughing in glee at his victory.
“One down and four on the
way,” it said, slowly waning away into the darkness.
to be continued…
