Chapter 15
Spike could see the surprise
on Buffy’s face when she noticed the teenage boy standing next to their
table. He wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed by their public kissing; the woman next
to him, or Mickey, his young friend, who was shuffling his feet, and looking
anywhere but at them. Spike snickered at
both their discomfiture.
“Hey, Mickey, what’s up my
man?” Spike asked.
“My grandmother wants to see
you,” Mickey said, looking at Spike but sneaking peeks at Buffy. “She says she has news about your woman.”
“Me?” Buffy squeaked, looking from one to the
other.
“Yes, you’re my woman,”
Spike said, with another chuckle.
Although, he didn’t appreciate Mickey coming up to them at dinner, he
knew it had to be important if Paloma sent him. He kissed Buffy’s cheek to reassure her that
everything would be all right, and then turned back to Mickey. “Tell your grandmother that after we’ve eaten
we will come to visit.”
“Yes, sir,” Mickey
responded, nodding at Buffy before he left with her watching him until he
disappeared from view.
Spike steeled himself for
the questions that were going to come.
Thankfully, the waiter came up at that moment to put a heaping plate of
nachos before them. Buffy’s stomach rumbled
making her laugh.
“I didn’t realize how hungry
I was,” Buffy said, reaching for a plate.
She loaded it with the filled chips, and then quickly took a bite. “Oh my gosh, these
are good.”
“Glad you like them,” Spike
commented, reaching for a chip. “So,
where were we before we were interrupted?”
“Kissing,” Buffy replied, with a giggle. “But after eating these jalapenos, I don’t
think it would be a good idea.”
“Maybe
not.”
Why wasn’t she asking him
about Mickey and his grandmother? Wasn’t
she curious, or didn’t she care? Or maybe he’d trained her too well and she thought she would
be punished if she questioned him? Well, it seemed there might be drawbacks to the relationship they’d
created. He pondered how to
approach the subject without ruining everything that was in place.
“You still there,
Spike?” Buffy asked, brushing her
fingertips along his cheek. “Is
everything all right?”
“Of course it is, pet,” He
responded. “Do you mind if we make a
stop before we go home?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’d like to meet your friends. It’s nice to know that you haven’t been
alone.”
Spike laughed. “No, I haven’t been alone. More like lonely in a crowd though.” He paused, unsure whether to reveal anymore
of his heart. “I’ve missed you, Summers,” he finally said, before returning his attention to
the food.
It was Buffy’s turn to
laugh. “I still don’t understand it.”
And that was why they played this game they did. He sighed.
It didn’t seem worth the time to tell Buffy all that was good about her
again. It was becoming a broken
record. He missed her
fire, and was beginning to wonder if she would ever find it. He’d promised that he could love this new
Buffy, but it was hard.
“Do you think I’m a sap
because I love you?” He asked before he
could think of the consequences of it.
It was something he was wondering about himself. Buffy froze with a chip halfway to her
mouth. She put it down carefully,
folding her hands on her lap, and staring at them for a moment. It made him laugh. “I guess you do. Maybe you’re just here because you know you
can lead me around by the nose…or rather my dick.”
“Please don’t be mean.”
“Why not? It seems to
be only way to get any spice in this relationship.”
Tears welled up in her eyes,
making him feel guilty for hurting her. Then
it crossed his mind that maybe she was just jerking him around by crying. She knew he couldn’t really harm her despite
what he’d threatened since she’d been with him.
“I’m trying, Spike,” Buffy
said. “If you don’t want me here, then
say so. I’ll leave.”
“Where would you go?”
It was a question of curiosity. Did she have alternate plans? Had his freeing her from her environment given
her enough gumption not to go back even if he wasn’t around?
“I don’t know.” She squirmed in her seat. “You think I’m weak?”
“No,
Buffy, never weak. You forget your own strength sometimes. I’ve seen you in tighter spots than this, and
you come out fighting…not only for your survival but for that of those you
love.”
“I’m tired…and it hurts.”
“I know, love, I know.”
“So, why do you make it
worse?” She stared at him. There was a flicker of bravery in her
eyes. He latched onto it with all the
hope his undead heart could hold. “You
said you would help.” She waved a hand
delicately between them. “Now, you act
like I’m a burden.”
Not caring who was around
them, or where they were, Spike reached over and scooped her into his
arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around
her, rocking them back and forth while she clung to him.
“I told you I’m a bastard,
Buffy,” he confessed. “You’ve never seen
the real me, and you keep telling me there is a better man inside. Sometimes I don’t see it, anymore than you
see how truly unique and special of a woman you are.”
She caressed him, burying
her face in his neck. “I do see you,”
she whispered. “Everything around me is
so cold…hard and violent, but you touch me, and I feel alive. Your hands may be rough but there is a
gentleness in your eyes, and in the way you hold me
when I cum. It gives me
hope. It makes me
believe. Before I believed
it was wrong, because of who and what you are.
Not anymore.
You are my strength. Please don’t leave me.”
Her words were true. There was no lie, no manipulation in them,
and he fell in love all over. She was
his woman, and he hated himself for bringing her pain when he promised to help
her find her way. He sat her back on her
chair, and wiped away her tears before kissing her. “I love you. I won’t
leave you.”
She smiled. It was wavering in the aftermath of her
emotions, but the love was there in her eyes.
She truly did love him. It warmed
him. It filled his soul. “I finally found her, Mother,” he whispered,
looking heavenward knowing his mother would be happy that he’d finally found
the love she wanted for him.
Buffy didn’t laugh at him. She squeezed his hand because she knew the
truth. All of it. Told over hours of waiting for the end,
sitting at the dining table on
“So, let’s
eat,” Buffy returning to her seat and nudging the plate toward him. “Then we can
go find out this news your friend has about me.”
Nodding, Spike returned to
his food. The rest of the meal was spent
in some small talk, nothing earth shattering or life defining. They ended up just eating off
of each other’s plate while they finished the pitcher of
margaritas. By the time they’d left the
restaurant, they were both pleasantly full and feeling a bit giddy from the
alcohol. It could also
have been the peace they’d seemed to find with each other. Deciding to walk to Paloma’s
house, Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy holding her close as they moved
through the crowded streets. She just sighed
and let him lead the way until they reached the small house where Paloma and her family lived. She pulled away from him, straightening her
clothes that were already in place then running a hand over her hair. She was trembling and he grabbed her hand
while he knocked on the door.
Paloma opened the door, grinning broadly
as she ignored Spike, and instead stared at Buffy. “Come in, come in you two.” She waited until they were standing in the
front room before she took Buffy’s hand away from Spike. Paloma pulled her
deeper into the room, and over by where a lamp cast its glow. Cupping Buffy’s face, she finally looked at
Spike, “She is an angel, William. So
much more beautiful than even in my dreams of
her. You have done well in choosing this
girl.”
“Thank you,” Spike said,
with a grin. “I think she’s rather
special.”
“I’m going to steal her away
from you for a few minutes,” Paloma said. “Go join the men in the kitchen while she and
I talk privately.”
Spike trusted Paloma, but he wasn’t comfortable with leaving Buffy with
her. It wasn’t something he could really
explain, except to say that he was afraid that Paloma
would impart news that would frighten Buffy or be too much for her to bear at
this point.
“I’ll be fine,” Buffy said,
smiling at him. “I know I’ve just met
her, but I feel safe here…with her.”
“All right,” Spike said,
leaning over to kiss Buffy’s cheek. “I
won’t be far.”
~~~~~
“He worries about you, nieta,” Paloma said, pulling
Buffy away from the still watching Spike.
“I know,” Buffy said, with a
blush. She looked back at the old woman
who was still holding her hand. She
hadn’t lied when she’d told Spike that she felt safe with Paloma. Being here in her house was wrapping her in a
warm cocoon of safety that she hadn’t felt since she’d been in heaven. “He loves me,” Buffy said, simply.
“You once denied it,” Paloma said. “But come;
let’s go back to my private chamber to talk.”
Buffy only nodded as she
followed Paloma down the hallway. The walls were loaded with family photos that
she wished she could take the time to look at.
This house was filled with love, and she wanted
to know what a family truly was, because she had never really seen one
before. Or at
least not for a very long time.
The room they finally
stopped at was toward the rear of the house.
It was a sitting room off of Paloma’s bedroom.
There was a garden outside the window lit up by hanging lanterns on the
eaves of the house. It was a clearly a haven
for Paloma. It
was filled with comfortable furniture, and the tabletops
were crowded with religious statues.
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief just crossing the threshold.
“Sit, child,” Paloma said, gesturing toward the couch. She lit a few candles then dimmed the main
lights so that the room was cast into shadows. Before sitting next to Buffy on the couch, Paloma grabbed an afghan and laid it across Buffy’s
lap. “Now, Buffy, why have you come to
“To be
with Spike.”
“It is all right to talk to
me, dear.” She patted Buffy’s hand. “Many things of you I already know. Not only from William, but
from the dreams that come to me at night.”
“You must be important to
Spike for you to call him William.”
“It is all he has truly
been. Spike was the name of the
monster. It kept William from the horror
of the life he was leading.”
“You know?” Buffy asked, shocked that this woman knew the
truth, but yet welcomed Spike into her home. It was so unlike the way that she’d been taught to treat vampires, and her friends wouldn’t
understand this woman’s attitude. “How
could you allow him…here…with your family?”
“Why would you?” Paloma countered
with a smile. “We both know that he is a
good man. He has conquered the demon
within him. Not just with the soul, but
before that with the love he found for you.”
Buffy covered her hands with
her face. Before she’d never wanted to
accept Spike’s love for her, or how responsible she was for the changes he’d
made. If she had, then he would have
been one more person that she would have to take of, instead of being able to
excuse away anything that happened to him.
It was a frightening concept, and it made this
relationship they had even more real.
“Do not hide from the
truth. It won’t go away.”
“If anyone knows that, it’s
me,” Buffy said, with a harsh laugh. “It
never goes away.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Paloma said. “And it
will come after you again.”
“What do you mean? Spike said I was protected here.”
“You are protected,” Paloma said. “Just
by being the woman of the Ghost Walker, you have the loyalty of many here in
“Ghost
“Yes, William, we call him
Ghost Walker,” Paloma laughed, and gestured toward
her hair. “He looks like a spirit with
the hair and pale skin.”
“Yeah, I guess he
does.” Buffy smiled. “So, why is everyone so loyal to him?”
“He protects us, nieta, from the evil that walks our streets in day and
night.” Paloma glanced out
her window, and shuddered. “He has seen
the pits of hell, and is not afraid of it.
He will fight when others won’t, for us.”
“That’s Spike,” Buffy said,
with a nod. She smiled. “He was the only one who always had my back
in the fight. My equal and I knew I
could count on him to keep his promises.”
“He always will. Trust him, and one day when you’re ready,
he’ll be there again.”
Buffy stared at her hands,
and then whispered. “Is that the
news? That I’ll
have to fight again. Is there something
coming?”
“No, there is nothing
coming,” Paloma replied, covering Buffy’s hands with
her own. “It is already here, as it has
always been. Yes, I dreamed that you
were in the fight again, but it was on your terms, and Spike was beside
you.” She tilted Buffy’s face up with
her finger. “Buffy, you know where your
heart is, and one day you’ll be ready. I
think for now though there are other things you need to learn.”
She nodded, and smiled
tremulously. Maybe one day she would
fight again, but not now. Now, she only
wanted to be Spike’s woman. Without thinking,
she leaned against Paloma, who drew her into her
arms. The older woman rocked Buffy
whispering softly to her in Spanish, giving her the safe haven she needed while
she sorted through her tumultuous emotions.
Things were changing, and
she had to accept that.
to be continued…
