Chapter 19
She had never felt such pain before in her young
life. The intensity of it seemed to be severing her body in two. She could feel
the blood pouring from her, coating her buttocks and legs. The sticky slapping
together of their bodies filled her with a mortification that made her wish she
would die this time. By now it was even welcome if it would get her away from
the monster sodomizing her. There had be been no preparation, no easement, only
a savage ripping into the fragile opening of her anus. The first thrust made
worse by the unexpected new form of rape that he was inflicting on her. .
For the first time in days she cried as he took her.
He wanted her compliant and tears only brought on the beatings that left her
barely able to move. Her new nightmare existence was getting worse the longer
she was there... She wanted her mother, she wanted to go home, but knew she
never would again. If she made it out of this hell alive, her life was still
over. Nothing would ever be the same.
“Come on, Sunny,” he grunted in her ear. His hand
wiggled beneath her to painfully twist her nipple. “Let me know how much you
love me fucking you like this. I hear whores like you really get off by being
fucked up the ass.”
“I hate you,” Buffy spat. “I hate this.”
He laughed then placed an almost tender kiss on her
shoulder. “No, you don’t.” His hand moved down between her legs to tease at her
clitoris. “You’re going to cum for me.”
Buffy didn’t think she could be anymore humiliated.
But her body betrayed her by having the orgasm that the monster wanted her to
have. To him they proved that she wanted this…wanted him and what he did to
her. It made her, his. Her mind screamed no, even as her body shook, grinding
down against the hand that was bringing her to this.
”I told you,” he crowed. He moved his hands to the mattress beside her so that
he could increase the force of his thrusts. She felt crushed under his weight
as he rammed his penis into her. Her face was buried against the mattress that
smelled of urine and sweat, praying that it was over soon. She hoped that he
would leave without wanting more. She should have known better. “My little
slut…” he whispered as he finally came. She felt him pull out; releasing his
seminal fluid to mix with the blood that already coated her flesh. By now she
had forgotten what feeling clean felt like.
“I wish you would find someone else,” Buffy sniffled
as she heard the rats scampering closer, drawn to the smell of her blood.
The covers twisted around
Buffy as she thrashed in the throes of her nightmare. Darkness kept her in its
spell. There was no lighted way out of her prison. She kept reaching out to
find her angel, but he wasn’t there. Whimpering, she surrendered to the
memories that were flooding her mind.
“Hey, slut, wake up,” the monster growled, kicking
her in the lower back.
Buffy arched, trying to escape from the pain. Opening
her eyes, she scooted backwards toward the wall. Her eyes widened when she
realized there was someone with him. It was another girl and she wasn’t tied
up. She was standing there watching the monster unchain her.
“Help me,” Buffy croaked through her parched throat.
It seemed like days since she had been given food or water. There was no real
time down here. No sunlight to judge the days by. The light above her dimmed
and brightened but it hurt when she looked at it. So, she avoided it now.
“Please help me.”
“What kind of kinky shit are you and her into?” the
brunette asked, looking around Buffy’s cell.
“Told you not to say anything,” the monster growled.
“All I want is for you to do what you’re told.”
“Whatever,” the girl shrugged and crossed her arms.
“Let’s hurry up though. I don’t have all night.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Any back talk was
prohibited by the monster. Buffy winced because she knew what was coming. The
monster grabbed the brunette by the hair and flung her down onto the mattress
in front of Buffy. He wrapped the chain around her neck and pulled it back
until the girl was gasping for air. Buffy could only stare in fear. What if he
took it out on her? It was better to remain silent and hope he wouldn’t
remember she was there. Eventually the brunette was released. She held her
throat as she flipped over onto her back, trying to get away.
“Sunny, hold the bitch,” he ordered.
Buffy tried to scoot away, wanting none of it, but
she was backhanded for her disobedience. The force of his hand sent her
toppling backwards into the wall. Her head hit with enough force to make the
world slide out of focus.
“Do as your told, slut,” the monster barked. “Or I’ll
beat you until you can’t stand.” He laughed and leaned close to her. “Maybe
I’ll bring someone else who would like to fuck a little slut like you.”
Afraid of his
threats she grabbed the girl’s arm, holding onto her, while Lance chained her
in Buffy’s place. The girl was screaming now. The monster knelt on the bed so he
could stroke ‘bitch’s’ face for a moment before slapping her hard. It silenced
her for the moment. Blood streaked her pretty face. Buffy doubted it would be
pretty for long.
“Do you like the present I brought you?” The monster
asked turning from the now quiet ‘bitch’.
“Why?” Buffy
said.
“You said you wanted me to find someone else…”
“No, no,” Buffy cried out.
“Please someone make it stop.” She sobbed as she hugged her pillow to her. It
wasn’t enough to protect her. Nothing was anymore. He was stronger than she was…again.
The pair of yellow panties were
ripped from Bitch’s body despite her struggling for freedom. The chains were
wrapped around her hands. The end of it was held by Buffy from behind her.
“Let me go, you fucking freaks,” Bitch screeched as
the monster pried her legs apart.
For a moment Buffy closed her eyes, unwilling to see
what was going on in front of her. There was no escaping the scream as he
entered the other girl. The sobs that rang out around her, and still she held
onto the chain that was keeping Bitch down.
“Please make him stop,” Bitch pleaded, turning to
look up at Buffy.
“I can’t,” Buffy whispered, stroking the girl’s hair.
She looked up to watch as the monster drove relentlessly over and over into
Bitch. A part of her was thankful that it wasn’t her this time. She hated
herself for it. “It’ll be over soon.”
It wasn’t though. Bitch was quickly broken by the
monster. She did what she was told without arguing. Why he didn’t pick Bitch
over her, Buffy would never know.
The rest of it came rushing in blurry outlined images
too horrible even now for her to remember. The sex acts he forced them to
perform on one another and on him. The escalating violence that ended with…
Buffy woke with a scream. It
spilled from her in an endless echo that tore through her soul. She remembered
it. All the things she had forgotten…the reason why she had forced it from her
mind and the final straw that had sent her spiraling into the dark place.
The mattress gave way under
someone’s weight forcing another shriek from her. Buffy backed up to the
headboard, cowering from the hand that was reaching for her. Hands brought only
pain to her.
“No, no, no, not again,”
Buffy chanted, looking around the room. The she saw it, the box that held a way
out for her. In it was a gun and she ran for it. He was right behind her. It
wouldn’t open. She pounded on it, trying to force it. It was knocked from her
hands. And she fell to her knees, sobbing, knowing it would never be over. Not
now. Darkness rushed at her and she wanted to embrace it. To go back to
nothing…it was better than this.
“Buffy, come back to me,” a
voice called to her. Hands petted her, pulling her into warm, strong arms.
“Please, talk to me, Luv.” She was rocked in those arms that seemed familiar.
The voice continued to whisper to her, telling her how much she was loved and
needed. She quieted, responding to the desperation that it held. “What
happened?” It was then that she recognized that it was Spike holding her. The
man she loved and had never hurt her because he loved her back.
He wouldn’t now though and
she pulled away from him. Backing up to the wall she wrapped her arms around
her legs. She stared at what could have been happiness for her.
“He was right,” Buffy
whispered. “It was my fault she was there. I told him to find someone else.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Spike
insisted. He didn’t come after her though. Instead he leaned against the bed.
“People like Peterson don’t just stop at one. The first one is nothing more
than practice and it eats away at them until they do it again. He’s a monster.”
“He’s a man,” Buffy said, no
longer able to bear looking at Spike. She was too ashamed at her own actions.
“Just a man and I told him to find her. It’s my fault she’s dead.”
“We don’t know for sure that
she’s dead…”
“She is dead,” Buffy
shrieked. “I know she’s dead because I helped kill her.”
The pain was too much and
she ripped into her flesh with her fingernails trying to find an anchor in the
storm around her. Spike sat staring at her with a stunned expression on his
face as he absorbed her words and took in the violence that Buffy was doing to
herself. It was only when she reached for the box again that he moved, knocking
it across the room. She went for it and he wrestled her to the floor. Pinning
her down when she fought him.
“Stop it,” Spike yelled.
“I’m not going to lose you. Do you hear me? Stop fighting me.”
“They’ll lock me up,” Buffy
wailed, collapsing back onto the floor. “Please, let me go. I can’t be locked
up again.”
“Oh, baby,” Spike soothed
her. He slid off of her, only to gather her against him. His arms held her
tight. “No one is going to blame you. You were only trying to survive.”
“But I didn’t care if I
died,” Buffy argued. “I was praying to die. Praying for it to end and then…then
I helped end hers.”
“You must have things mixed
up. There’s no way that I believe that you’d hurt anyone. Okay?”
It was the ‘okay’ that clued
her in. She sat up, her hand still on his chest to balance her. He stared up at
her with a devastated look on his face. It tore her apart inside. There was
nothing she wanted more than to give him what he wanted. To be able to always
be with him, but she had burned her bridges.
“I have to tell what I
know,” Buffy calmly said. Everything was clear to her now. The past and what
she had to do. “I have to tell Captain Roberts everything I remembered.”
“It was a nightmare,” Spike
said, sitting up. He held her by the shoulders. “You don’t know for sure it’s
the truth or just something that your mind made up to fill in the blanks.”
Buffy shook her head. “I
know it’s true because I remember the link to tie everything together.”
“What link?”
“It’s the color yellow,”
Buffy explained. “It’s his favorite. That’s why he picked me and Faith. My
uniform was yellow and her panties were yellow.”
“So?” Spike shrugged. “It
was a coincidence. Nothing more.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Buffy said,
shaking her head. She ran her fingers along his face then across his lips. “I
remember her telling me that night. He had gone out to get some food and left
us alone for a little while. Faith said that he was specifically looking for
someone who was wearing yellow. He even made her lift her skirt so that he knew
she wasn’t lying about it.”
Defeat hung between them.
They were silent for a few moments as they accepted her memories. It was all
going to have to be sorted through, but she wanted Spike to know first. If he
would stand by her then she could get through it. Without his strength she
didn’t know if she could. Yesterday she would have said that she could handle
it on her own. Not now. She was too frightened of the truth. Of the dark part
of her that she hadn’t even realized existed.
“We should call the Captain
and Kate,” Spike said. He wouldn’t even look at her and her heart sank. “And
get you a lawyer, too.”
“All right,” Buffy
whispered. It was over. He would hand her over to someone else to take care of
it. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to pack my things?”
“No,” Spike said. “Of course
I don’t want you to leave. Oh, Luv, never.” He held his arms out and waited for
her to nestle into them. “I believe that whatever happened that night was
something you couldn’t help. And I don’t think they are going to press
charges.” He laughed. “I guess I went into cop mode there for a minute.”
“But I…,” Buffy stared. Her
voice quavered with emotions. He pressed his fingers to her mouth.
“Deep breath,” Spike said.
“Okay, first things first. Tell me what you remember.”
~~~~~~~~
By the time he had calmed
her enough to speak to him; Spike had already long regretted falling asleep on
the couch. After leaving the prison, Buffy had been subdued to the point of
silence. She didn’t seem to be upset just contemplative. Spike had tried to
give her the room she needed, but be there if she needed him. When she had
fallen asleep, he had lain staring at the ceiling but sleep eluded him. Finally
he had give up and headed off to watch some television. It had done the trick
and he had only awoken when Buffy screamed.
Buffy pulled away from him.
Scooting back until she was leaning against the bed. Her eyes were big from
fright as she stared at him. Her memories had to have been freed by seeing
Lance Peterson. He prayed she would find a way to handle them without losing
all the ground she had gained in the past week. He waited until she was ready.
Her voice was barely audible
as she told him of that day. She left no detail out. It made him sick to his
stomach, filling him with a vicious rage that left him in no doubt that he
could murder. The woman in front of him was replaced by the girl he had found
that day. He covered his mouth with his hand as he listened. But he never took
his eyes from Buffy’s face. She would have no chance to doubt his love for her.
“I…was holding the chain,”
Buffy said. “It had been hours by then. I was exhausted and hurting. He
was…raping her again. She only lay there. It was different with her. He wanted
her to feel the pain. It was enjoyable to him when she cried. But she had
stopped. It was almost like she was a lifeless puppet.” She closed her eyes and
leaned her head against the mattress. “He…he started to choke her. She gave him
what he wanted and started to struggle again when she couldn’t breathe. Then it
was over. She was dead.”
“How do you know she just
didn’t pass out?” Spike asked.
“She was dead. Her eyes just
stared upwards. No blinking…no movements…nothing. He finished…with her then
wrapped her in a blanket and carried her away.”
Spike scooted closer to her,
cupping her face in his hands. “Why do you say it’s your fault?”
“I never let go of the chain
even when she struggled,” Buffy said. Tears rolled down her cheeks again. “A
part of me knew she was dying and I did nothing to try and stop it from
happening.”
to be continued…
