Chapter 10
She was floating on a big,
fluffy white cloud. Although it was warm and safe there was something off that
was disturbing her slumber. Buffy started to wiggle around trying to the
perfect spot so she could return to her dreams. A hand settled on her hip to
slow her motions. It slid down her belly to curl around her waist, pulling her back
against a hard yet comfortable body. She sighed in contentment at having found
the missing element. It was her new happy place, she decided.
The body curled so perfectly
behind her shifted slightly so that there was something hard pressed against
her bottom. She knew what it was. The nightmare had found her again. She tried
to stifle the whimper but it must have escaped, because a drowsy voice broke
through her fear.
“Shush, it’s all right. Go
back to sleep.”
It was Spike.
She was safe and her body began
to relax. He kissed her shoulder before burying his nose in her hair again. He
pulled the comforter higher over their shoulders, cocooning them from the world.
Buffy settled in and was willing her body to go back to sleep. This was too
nice to interrupt even for her bladder that wanted release. She decided she
could hold it a little longer. Fingers gently tickled her stomach making her want
to giggle.
Ordering herself to stay
perfectly still, she cataloged every sensation to memory. The breath on the
back of her neck, his toenails jabbing the bottom of her feet, the hands
holding her close, the way she curved into his body and even the erection
pressing into her. It was all Spike and for the moment it was hers. A part of
her wanted to turn over so they could make love. But the part of her that was scared
was bigger so she didn’t move, feeling both grateful and frustrated because Spike
had too much honor to initiate physical contact between them.
Buffy let her mind drift to
the night she did have the courage to go to him. A warm feeling came over her
as she remembered the kisses, the caresses, the feel of his tongue and hands.
His pleads to give her pleasure echoed in her mind. She had no doubts that he
could if she let him. She started to think maybe she could roll over but before
she could do anything about, the phone rang. Her eyes flew open as she cursed
the ill timed interruption.
“Damn it,” Spike muttered,
rolling over and fumbling for it. “Yeah, Nagle here.” He paused as his body
tensed next to Buffy’s. “Good morning, Mrs. Summers. Yeah, she’s here. Let me
get her for you.”
Buffy moved onto her back,
staring up at the phone Spike held out. She knew she had to take it. What she
wanted didn’t matter anymore. It would only make things worse for her and Spike
if she didn’t. She had to show herself to be a grownup and perfectly capable of
making mature decisions for her life. No histrionics or tantrums that would
give her mother ammunition to force her home. She took the receiver and after
giving Spike one last look she closed her eyes as she brought it up to her ear.
“Hello, mom.”
“Hi, Buffy, I’ve been
worried about you. Are you all right?”
“Yes,” Buffy said, sitting
up. “I’m fine.” She watched Spike as he made his way to the bathroom. She
wished he had stayed with her. It was always easier when he was around.
“You haven’t returned my
phone calls,” Joyce said, in a parental disappointment tone. “Did you get the
messages?”
“I’ve been busy,” Buffy
lied. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“Detective Nagle stopped
calling me, too.”
“I asked him not to talk to
you.”
“Why?” Joyce asked.
Her mother’s sigh of
frustration was easily audible over the phone. It made Buffy defensive even
though she had no reason to be. If only she had been a good girl and listened
to her all her mother’s warnings, maybe she would be graduating this year with
her class. She covered her face with her hand as she tried to quiet the rapid
beating of her heart.
“Mom, I know about your plan
to try to bring me home,” Buffy said, taking a deep breath. She didn’t want to play
games. Everything was easier to deal with if it was spelled out. “If you want
to know something about what I’m doing then please talk to me. Not to Spike or
to Captain Roberts.”
“Spike?”
“It’s William’s nickname,”
Buffy said absently as she made her way into the living room. She had heard
Spike go out through the other bathroom door. He was making coffee so she took
a seat on the couch.
“You’re calling him Spike
now?”
“Yes, it’s what everybody
calls him.”
“What’s going on there,
Buffy? Is he responding to your crush?” Her mother sounded almost panicked as
she rattled off her questions. “Has he done anything to you?”
“I’m not a child, Mom. And it’s
really none of your business,” Buffy told her calmly. “I don’t appreciate you
asking.”
“Buffy, you’ve barely been
out of the house,” Joyce said sternly. “You have no idea of how to take care of
yourself…how men are.”
“I think I do.”
“It’s not going to be like
when you were…before,” Joyce said, softly. “He’s a man not a boy. I don’t think
you understand…”
“I’m fine, Mom,” Buffy said,
interrupting her before she could get a lecture on sex. “Please don’t, okay?”
“Look, if you’re that
insistent on going to college then you can go to UC Sunnydale. You can live at
home where we can protect you and make sure you’re all right.”
“No, I need to stay here,”
Buffy said. “We found out who she is, Mom. Her name is Faith Monroe. I need to
finish this before I make a decision about what I want to do next. But it will
be my decision not yours. So, don’t try to take me to court because I’ll fight
you and when I win, I won’t ever speak to you again.”
“Don’t threaten me, young
lady.”
“Then don’t threaten me. I
love you and appreciate everything you’ve done but it’s my life now. And I have
to finish this. Now I need to go.”
She hung up the phone
without giving her mother a chance to respond. It was only going to escalate
into a fight. A fight that neither of them could win but both could lose.
“Here, pet,” Spike said,
putting a mug in front of her. “It’s hot chocolate.”
“Thank you,” Buffy said, taking
it with a smile. The rich treat smelled good and it was loaded down with lots
of marshmallows. She waited to take a sip until he settled on the couch next to
her. “Mmmm, it’s perfect, Spike.” She sighed as she looked over the rim at him.
“I don’t want to fight with her, you know, but she keeps trying to find
something wrong with me and what I’m doing.”
“Not doing anything wrong,
Luv” Spike said. “You did good while you were talking to her. You told her how
you felt without getting defensive or angry. It showed maturity.”
It was one of those times
that Spike was in his teacher mode. Although she appreciated him helping her
and getting her back into life, sometimes she just wanted him to be a friend.
Frustrated, she became flip and said the first thing that came to her mind.
“Why thank you, oh Jedi
instructor, do I get a cookie for being a good girl?”
His reaction was
instantaneous when he caught the sarcasm of her tone. His brows met in a sharp
incline over his nose and his head tilted to the side. He gave her a look that
was meant to curl her insides but she refused to back down.
“So, sorry for trying to
help,” Spike said. “Next time you come begging for help I’ll remember that it’s
not welcome.”
Buffy sighed. “I didn’t mean
to hurt your feelings. You make me feel like a child when you talk to me like
that. And I don’t want you to see me that way.”
The eyebrows parted and one
went flying up. “Oh, that’s even better. You think I look at you like you’re a
child? After the other night?”
“I don’t know,” Buffy said.
She put her drink down with a thump. “How do you see me? Am I just a charity
case? A problem you have to solve? An ego boost? A potential girlfriend? What?”
Spike’s head dropped onto
the couch. His eyes closed. “I don’t know, Buffy. Honestly I haven’t figured it
out yet. I just know that I have to help you get back on your feet.” He laughed
and opened his eyes to look into hers. “And believe me I know that you’re a
woman.”
She dropped her gaze to the
couch as a flush filled her face. His words had sent a streak of desire through
her and like him; she wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“So,” Buffy said, smiling.
“Do I get that cookie?”
Spike laughed and reached
over to rumple her hair. “No, only good girls do. Not sarcastic ones with big
mouths. But I was thinking of us maybe taking a break.”
“A break? What kind of
break?” Buffy asked suspiciously.
“I thought you trusted me?
I’m hurt.”
“Please…I do but…”
“I thought that maybe we
could get out of here for a few hours,” Spike said using the calm voice. “The
last couple of days have been pretty intense. I know I could use a little fresh
air and change of scenery.”
“I don’t know,” Buffy said,
nibbling on her bottom lip. “You can go if you want.”
“A ride, Buffy,” Spike said.
“You, me and the tank on the open road. I promise no unexpected lessons or
anything.”
“You promise?”
“Just said I did.”
“Okay, then,” Buffy said.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad
to be outside. To be somewhere where she didn’t have to think, or push herself,
where she could relax, enjoy being with Spike. It was beginning to sound great
as she headed off to get dressed.
~~~~~~~~
The day was perfect for a
ride. It wasn’t too hot but the sun was still shining bright with hardly any
clouds. Buffy was actually looking forward to being outside even if she wasn’t
going to do anything but ride in a car. It seemed like forever since she had
really taken the time to look at anything new or even familiar outside her
home. There she knew every tree, every bush and even the curve of the grass
growing around the sidewalk. With Spike she had the security to try new things,
to push against her fears, and to just be Buffy.
They had stopped on the way
out of town to fill the Desoto with gas. She was waiting in the car while Spike
pumped the gas. The way he was talking earlier she knew he was planning on
being gone for a few hours. Thinking back to the rides she used to take when
she was younger, her mom always brought a cooler with snacks along. Wanting to
relive something that had been fun, she scooted across the seat and leaned out
the driver’s window.
“Spike,” Buffy said, breaking
his attention away from the pump. He glanced over at her or rather she assumed
he did. He was wearing mirrored sunglasses that only showed her reflection when
she looked at him. “Can we get something to drink? And maybe some chips or
something?”
“Yeah, sure,” Spike said,
turning back to the pump. “Do you need cash?” He asked in an offhanded manner
that made Buffy tense up. Surely he didn’t expect her to go in and get it?
Buffy eyed the small store, shaking her head, deciding she didn’t want anything
that bad.
“I don’t want to go in,”
Buffy said softly. “It’s okay. I don’t need it”
“Sorry,” Spike said, before
she could retreat into the car again. “I’ll go if you want. I said no lessons
and no pressure. Let me finish with the gas, okay?”
It made her feel guilty that
Spike was always doing stuff for her. Buffy turned back to the small store
again. It couldn’t be dangerous, could it? It was broad daylight…no, that
wouldn’t work as an argument. She had been kidnapped in daylight. It was small.
It wasn’t that busy and besides Spike was right there. He wouldn’t let anything
happen to her. Besides she was going to have to do these things on her own eventually
or she may as well pack up and go home.
Taking a deep breath, she
stepped out of the car.
“I’ll go,” Buffy said,
trying to stop the trembling in her hands.
“Buffy,” Spike said, waiting
until she met his gaze before continuing. “Keep looking to your right and left
while on the way there. You always want to see who is around you. Check the
reflection to see if anyone is following you in. Once you’re in there, scan the
store as soon as you step in. See who’s in there, who makes you nervous, who
looks safe, keep looking up. On the first sweep, spot where the sodas and the
snacks are, that way you’re not wandering around. Show confidence.”
It was one of those times when
she was grateful he was in teaching mode. It showed he understood what she was
going through and it gave her the extra nudge she needed. She patted her pocket
where the pepper spray was, put her head up, took the money that Spike held
out, glanced around the parking lot then headed for the store. Halfway there
she remembered that she hadn’t asked him what he wanted but she didn’t want to
go back. She reassured herself with the fact she knew what he had at the
apartment to munch on. All she had to do was get stuff she knew he liked and it
would be fine.
Only one other person
besides the cashier was revealed in her quick scan of the market. That person,
an elderly man, was on the opposite side from where the sodas were and Buffy
took an immediate left toward the coolers. She selected a couple of bottles of
water and some soda then turned toward the snack aisle. One more look around
the store before she debated over the choices. Not being able to make up her
mind right away, she grabbed several different kinds of chips then some candy bars
before turning to make her way to the cashier.
Halfway there the door
opened and four teenage boys came in. They were talking loud, almost shouting
out their conversation about heading out to the beach. Buffy tried to scoot
around them but they were coming straight for her. Fear flashed through her and
she froze.
Please, please, leave me alone, please, don’t come
near me…
Buffy forgot about what
Spike had told her. She ducked her head. She forgot about the pepper spray and
even that if she screamed Spike would be there. She stood there and trembled,
watching their feet as they came closer to her. They parted when they reached
her, moving to go around her. One of them jostled her, knocking a bag of chips
from her arms. She wanted to cry as panic filled her eyes with tears and a
soundless scream echoed in her mind.
“Here, miss, you dropped
this,” one of the boys said, perching the bag on her pile again.
Buffy nodded, unable to
voice anything.
“You okay?” the boy asked,
leaning down to look at her. “You don’t look so good. Is that your boyfriend
out there by that cool car?”
She nodded.
“You want me to get him for
you?”
She looked up. He wasn’t
going to hurt her. He was concerned about her. She took a deep breath and tried
to will the anxiety away.
“No, I’m fine,” she
whispered. “I…just…”
“It’s cool, don’t worry. My
name is Pedro. My sister gets a little tense sometimes, too. Here let me help
you.”
He loaded up her purchases
and took them over to the cashier. “You take care of yourself, okay?”
“Thank you,” Buffy managed
to get out as she nodded her head. She glanced out to where Spike was watching
her and smiled.
Maybe things were going to
be okay after all.
to be continued…
