So, I've decided to archive my silly little FQW. I figure they should be good for a laugh and a knee slap. Maybe not a laugh, maybe just a casual chuckle and a light brush of the hand on the knee. Ok, I'll even be happy with a startled clearing of the throat and a raised eyebrow, dammit!

Brian: "You know Emmett, we don't spend nearly enough time together. What say you and me go for a coffee and chat some."

Mikey: "Brian and Ted are dating? Finally, me and Justin have people we can double date with."

Emmett: "You just never know when the straight look is going to come back into fashion....did I just say that without laughing? I am so Meryl today!"

Mikey: "I get the dog collar, but I'm not sure what this plastic tubey thing is supposed to do...Oh. Oh hell no."

Ted: "Brian, you're an ad exec, where the hell did you get that big chunk of coal? And for the last time, I am so not putting that anywhere in me, I don't care how funny you think it is."

Brian: "I think I've had every guy in this room, except....for that one. I think I'll just go on....shit....tits."

Deb: "You know Sunshine, if you're going to go to the baths, would you mind taking one before you come to work and touch people's food for chrissakes."

Mikey: "I might be the only fag in the world that doesn't think Batman and Robin were fucking each other. I mean, come on, there is such a thing as too obvious."

Justin: "Backstreet Boys? I'm queer and I'm 17, but I still have taste."

Emmett: "Look, I know it tastes awful, but it's a sure-fire cure for that hangover honey. And don't even try to tell me that you haven't swallowed nastier tasting stuff than this, I've seen some of your tricks."

Mikey: "Brian. Knees. Now."

Brian: "I don't need a subscription to BoyTown. I'm fucking a 17 year old, I'm not one."

Justin: "I could swear Melanie just made a pass at me. Don't laugh Brian, I AM that sexy."

Mikey: "It's one thing to have your mother give you the "birds and the bees" talk, it's another when she rents you "The bears and the cubs" movie."

Ted: "If you're asking me as an accountant, I'd have to say no. Investing in a Cher portfolio is not a good fiscal decision."

Mikey: "I'll never understand that whole straight chicks and gay porn thing. I get queasy even seeing Mel and Linds hold hands"

Emmett: "I never wanted to be a fireman when I was growing up. I wanted to be the fire if you know what I mean."

Brian: "Mikey, I love you. Take me away from all this madness. Why the fuck are you all laughing? I'm serious."

Ted: "Deb just called me Brian. What the hell did she mean by that?"

Brian: "Listen Mikey, who gives a fuck what anybody else thinks. What matters is, does he have a nice ass and does he treat you well."

Emmett: "You know, I always wondered what it would be like to work a nine to five job. Now I know. It's so not me."

Brian: "Usually I enjoy being called a heartless bastard, but when you say it Deb, I just feel dirty and ashamed and I want to cry my poor...oofphh. Ow?"

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