The first thing he noticed upon waking up was that he hurt everywhere, and his body felt as drained and wrung out as the rags Denen used for washing. There was a low, grumbling ache in his lower belly and between his legs, his shoulders and arms were exhausted and indignant, his knees felt like he imagined an old man's might, and perhaps worst of all, his chest and the distended nubs of his nipples, which had been growing steadily larger since his seventh month, throbbed with a disconcertingly piercing pain. For a moment he couldn't remember what had happened; his mind felt full of wet wool, and the annoying blare of sunlight on his sleepy eyes hardly helped. Moaning under his breath, he started to turn over and find a better position, enjoying the wash of warm air over his skin. From the bed next to him there came a gravelly gurgle of drowsy disapproval. The tiny fist he had kept wrapped unconsciously around one of his fingers curled tighter.
He was awake almost at once, turning his head to take a better look at the miniature life he had brought into the world. The little male's round head was covered in soft swatches of nut brown hair, fine as only an infant's or old one's could be, and the fringe of eyelashes fluttering in deep, dream-filled sleep against his flushed face was the same. Sleeping on his back, his head turned to the side and his left cheek pressed comfortably into the ticking, the cub's looks were very reminiscent of Kinlin and Kiplin in the days after their birth, and Tay was once more reminded of the explaining he would have to do to the rest of the village. Cunelbren was too obviously a Cūrtalan by birth for anyone to assume him to be Cour's, as Taydren had once foolishly hoped they might, but to his own surprise he found that he didn't care much about later embarrassments when he was so caught up in the wonder of tiny, almost mouselike fingers curling around his own, or the way his cub's face scrunched into a frown or relaxed into contentment.
That little unhappy frown was the first sign he got of Cunelbren's waking. Little limbs twitched before beginning to jerk clumsily in all directions, and, in spite of Tay's efforts to soothe the grumpy infant back to sleep, what had at first looked like a tiny bud of a mouth opened up into a wide cavern, from which exploded the loudest noise Taydren had ever heard. Vayrsila could probably hear it all the way out on the outskirts, Tay reflected ruefully, his mind rapidly suggesting and discarding bits of information that might distract the clearly indignant cub as his hands cupped the little body, bringing it up into his arms to cuddle. The little one yelled louder.
"He's hungry," Cour grunted sluggishly over the wails, pinching his eyes tighter shut. Tay grimaced and bounced the screaming cub lightly in his arms. He didn't even want to think about anything touching his chest, much less nursing.
"I'll try. Shh, cub, come on... You're hungry? Here, eat then..."
Still crooning soft nonsense, Tay guided the infant's gaping mouth to his left nipple, where it immediately latched on like there was a vacuum between the two and began sucking busily. As expected, it hurt, but only badly for the first second or so; after that it settled to a bearable ache, and the position, while awkward at first, got gradually more familiar as the minutes passed.
In the meantime Cour had cracked an eye open at the proceedings, sighed, and sat abruptly upright. Tay grinned. He had gotten used to this routine after a few morning wake-up calls with the older Kindred (his husband, he reminded himself, grin widening). Contrary to all appearances, Cour was not a morning person, but getting up at a reasonable hour was a chore he had resigned himself to, so the only way he could usually get out of bed was to make a conscious decision as he woke and carry through with it before his body told him it was too much trouble. Cour thought it was irritating; Tay thought it was cute. Besides, it was nice to know that there was something Cour wasn't good at.
"Are you all right?" Tay's mate asked, peeking out from behind the hands scrubbing at his sleep-filled eyes. "You and Cunelbren, you're both okay?"
Taydren nodded, smiling fondly at Cour's characteristic worry. "I think so. He doesn't seem to be hurt anywhere... his colour is fine. He's certainly hungry enough! And I'm fine too. Just sore," he added as an afterthought, casting his mind over the condition of his aching frame. It was shockingly true. He felt terrible, but there was nothing wrong with him except simple muscle strain.
"I'll go tell Denen then. He'll want to come see you."
Trying desperately to suppress a yawn, Cour stumbled off in the direction of the main room, where Tay supposed Denen would still be waiting on the couch after a long night of staying up, listening for sounds of undue distress or the alternative healthy cries of a newborn. He could vaguely recall the corolaith having been in during the night for a quick checkup and to change the sheets - wolves liked clean beds as much as anyone else did, and it wasn't good for the cub to sleep in a dirty, germ-encouraging place. In any case, it certainly wasn't dangerous for Denen to be in and out while the younger set were in Changed form; the visit had been quick but only, Tay imagined, because Denen knew that they'd wanted their privacy. No Kindred would ever attack another, even in human form when the scent of blood was just as enticing as any other warm creature. Not to kill or seriously maim, at least.
Snuggling back into the warmth of the clean covers, Tay turned his attention once more back to his infant, who was still nursing eagerly, little hands clenching and unclenching like a kitten's kneading paws against the smooth bare skin of his da's front. He was quite a messy eater; already there was milk escaping the corners of his mouth, freed in tiny spurts whenever he let out a contented gurgle. Tay suppressed a choke of exasperated laughter imagining the disaster Cunelbren would make trying to eat more solid food or even just drinking something less contained. He hoped Sol's trouble-making genes hadn't been passed along with his looks.
Cour stuck his head in through the door, confusion plastered across his face. "Denen's out. There's hot water on the fire, though, do you want some porridge? Or I could make some tea. You should have something."
"Porridge sounds good," Tay agreed absently, scrunching his forehead in thought. "Why would he be out? Kelper's da is the only one who hasn't delivered yet, and he's a week early. You don't think there's something wrong?"
"He's been doing all right as far as I know," said Cour. "I don't think there's anything that could go wrong now. Don't worry about it, okay? Denen will take care of whatever it is."
Tay gave in with a smile. "Okay, I won't. Besides, there's too much to do here! You know where Cunelbren's gown is, don't you? I have to get him washed up and dressed in it, so you can show everyone. Vayrsila will never forgive me if I don't let him know as soon as I can."
"Breakfast first! I'm sure he'll understand that. I'll make some tea too, it will be good for you to have something hot to drink. Make sure you don't go getting up while I'm gone, either!"
"You'll only be gone a little while," Tay admonished. "I won't go anywhere. I think I'm quite sore enough not to want to."
Quickly stifling a smile, Cour left for the kitchen, where Tay could hear him a moment later moving pots and rattling spoons as he readied the meal. The cub let go of his own source of breakfast to loll his tiny head curiously in the direction of the noises, but apparently decided they weren't worth missing his food over and went back to sucking.
"You are a piglet," Tay whispered fondly. He reached a finger out and ran it over the fuzzy, powder-soft strands of the cub's hair, wondering briefly what the twins and Kelper would think of their new nephew. He wouldn't be able to play with them yet, but already his every expression held that same sort of naive wisdom that the three youngest Cūrtalans embodied so well; sarcasm on top of sincerity on top of giddy playfulness. It would be no surprise to Tay if Cunelbren ended up heading the next generation of village troublemakers.
He made a mental note to ask Kelper's da what being the bearer of a tiny gang entailed.
And then there was Cour's family. Tay had been trying for as long as he and Cour had been seriously together to not think of the possibilities concerning their reaction to what Tay had gotten their only remaining offspring into. They hadn't even been told there was a cub, what would they think when they found out it wasn't Cour's? Cour would never be able to take it if they were angry or upset by the situation, but Tay could only imagine what he might feel in the same position. To be told you had a grandcub, and then told it wasn't yours?
He pushed it to the back of his mind. There would be other times for thinking about things like that, and Cour was right, he shouldn't start borrowing troubles already. He needed to gather his strength so that he'd be able to take care of Cunelbren. Besides, no cub liked having their parent upset. It was like a storm in the only safe haven there was. They would rest a little while, and when Tay was stronger, he would face the telling then. In a way he was glad he had put the whole thing off, because wasn't now the best time? Now that he and Cour were finally real mates?
"Here he is!" Cour announced cheerfully, passing the small bundle of fabric and trim into Tay's waiting hands. From inside it, a series of disgruntled growls made the cub's displeasure with the situation known. "All clean and ready to go."
"I wish I could go with you," Tay sighed remorsefully, needlessly rearranging the strings of Cunelbren's loosely knitted summer wrapping while the cub went on bubbling unhappy complaints at being dressed. Cour's face slid a little into seriousness, and he opened his mouth, but Tay waved him off. "I just wish I could do the telling with you, so I could know what they think right off. It's going to be awful sitting here waiting. But no, I won't get out of bed, so don't you dare scold me! It was just a thought."
"Okay," Cour relented, shaking his head. "Sorry. Just let me do the worrying, all right? I can take care of it. If they like it, they do, and if they don't, that's that. You making yourself sick's not going to help."
"Fine, fine. Go on now!" Tay shooed, grinning in spite of himself. "If you say not to worry, I won't. But make sure not to drop my cub! It's the only one I have!"
"For now, right?" Cour asked, leaning in to kiss his new mate. "You wouldn't mind more, I hope?"
"Of course not." Tay felt his face soften, and his mouth when he returned the kiss was as gentle as he could make it. "There will be plenty more if I have anything to say about it."
Cour smiled, straightening to take the cub back. "All right," he said, and turned on his heel and left.
Perhaps an hour passed, and Tay tried to use the time for much-needed sleep, yet regardless of the promise that he had made he couldn't relax enough. He wanted to know what was going on, and at the same time he really wished he never had to know. When it finally came, the sounds of Cour opening the door and making his way back through the house were only half relieving.
"Taydren? Is it okay for my parents to come in a minute?"
"Ah - all right," Tay called back, his eyes widening. Were they that angry that they had to speak to him in person? But no, Cour would never let them come over if they were upset. What was wrong, then?
"They just want to see you," Cour added as if reading his mate's mind, his tousled brown head appearing around the doorframe, the top of the bundle in his arms folded back to reveal Cunelbren's sleeping face. Grinning lopsidedly, he crossed the room to lay the cub back in Taydren's embrace, and as the mates' lips met for a quick hello kiss, Tay felt his heart began to lift. Cour wouldn't smile like that if something was wrong.
"Cour said you were worried we'd be upset," Cour's da explained with a smile as he too rounded the corner. "We thought you might believe him more when he said we weren't if we came out here to show you. You shouldn't be worrying yourself with the cub just born, you know."
"That's what he told me," Tay admitted shyly, unconsciously trying to shove mussed hair behind his ears. Cour's father gave him a small smile as he took his place next to his own mate. 'You're fine," Tay saw him mouth, and the cub-bearer felt his ears go red. He returned his hand to his lap.
"You're not - mad?" he blurted, hugging the loose-wrapped cub. More hot blood rushed to his face, but thankfully Cour's parents seemed not to notice.
"Well, it was rather a surprise," the older cub-bearer reflected. His mate leaned against the doorframe on his side, and on instinct the speaker moved from his side of the frame to lean against his husband. "He doesn't get home often anymore," here he fixed his son with an understanding grin, "and he's secretive as ever but you two really couldn't hide things. I guess it just feels like you've been together so long now, it's strange to think that you weren't once. Still, it's not as if you went and cheated on him, hm?"
"I... s'pose not," Tay stammered, still blushing. "I never thought of it that way..."
"What have we to be upset about, then?" Cour's father asked in a soft voice shockingly like Cour's own. "It's between you and he and Cunelbren's sire."
Tay's forehead crinkled in bemusement. Cour hadn't told them who the sire was. "I guess so," he said just as the front door bounced open again.
"Tay!"
"Who-" Tay started, but before he could finish, Sol was standing in the doorway too. He stopped short on seeing Cour's parents there.
"Um... you came to see Cunelbren?" Taydren asked his cub's father weakly, but he got no answer.
"Him?" the older of the cubbearers in the room asked shrewdly, gesturing to Sol, and slowly Tay nodded.
"Well," Cour's da said, and Tay might have thought he was angered except for the broad smirk he was now wearing. "That's all to rights then. You do have good taste, Taydren."
Cour's father shook his head, giving his mate a reproachful smile, but Cour's da passed it off with a cheeky one of his own. Tay hadn't thought his blush could get any worse, but it did. He felt a little better when Sol went bright red too.
"Well, we had better be going then," Cour's da announced. He took his mate by the hand. "Remember, son, no upsetting Taydren until after he's done nursing!"
"I won't," Cour called absently after the retreating pair. When their footsteps were gone and the outer door had swung shut once more, he turned to beckon to Sol.
"You want to see Cunelbren, right? Where were you before?"
His nose crinkling, Tay asked, "You weren't at the presenting?"
"I was with Da. I didn't hear until a minute ago," Sol mumbled shamefacedly, not moving from his spot, then added something else in a dismal murmur.
"What?"
"I told Da he was going to have a grandcub," Sol repeated more loudly, flushing scarlet, "and he passed out right then and there, all right? I didn't mean to spit it out so fast, I just - I mean, he said he doesn't mind, but I didn't know that! I was trying to get it out... Anyway, Da's not upset, but I think Papa's mad at me."
"About Cunelbren, or about the way you told?" Cour asked skeptically, twisting the grin that Tay could see trying to escape into a frown.
Sol grimaced. "About the way I told."
"Are the cubs all right?" Tay asked, a little alarmed, but the rapid, vehement nod he got back reassured him. It would have been a horrible thing for the other family to have lost their cubs from something Tay did, even indirectly, and from the look of Sol he was thinking the same thing. As each wrapped themselves in their own thoughts, the room quieted. The breathing of the cub became a substantial sound in the absence of others.
"Can I see him then?" Sol asked timidly after a moment, and Tay shook himself out of the reverie he'd fallen into to answer.
"Of course you can. Come here and see him while he's still asleep... he has the biggest mouth I've ever heard when he's awake," the young da marveled. "I don't suppose you have a history of loud cubs in your family?"
Sol laughed, his regretful look replaced by his customary good humour. "With Kelper in the family? Oh, of course not!"
"Don't tease," Tay said softly, smiling. "I was serious. Do you want to see him or not?"
Still hesitant, Sol padded over to the bed and knelt where he could look at the cub's restful face. Cour knelt next to him, and the three of them watched the cub sleep for long minutes before Sol sighed. His expression was soft. The atmosphere in the room felt now very serious, the sire's eyes lingering tenderly on the drowsy cloth-swaddled bundle in his friend's arms.
"He's beautiful," the older male murmured, and a smile spread suddenly and proudly across his face. "There's been so many cubs this year, and they're tokens, all of them. Tokens of a better life for us. A better world, maybe."
"I thought Denen said our time was winding down?" Tay asked softly, shifting Cunelbren to a better position. The cub murmured sleepily and snuggled back down.
It was Cour who finished Sol's thought.
"Just because the world is winding down doesn't mean we have to let ourselves wind down too, does it?"
