Disclaimer: Queer as Folk isn’t mine. It’s ShowTime et al’s. I’ve just invited the boys out to play. Hopefully they won’t be too damaged when I return them.

Author’s Note: The devil made me do it.

“I don’t see how you could have done such a thing. What were you thinking?”

Brian set his jaw. This latest reprisal was coming from Lindsay as they were preparing to take Gus for a walk. He’d heard it all; first from an irate Debbie, then, surprisingly, from Michael who somehow felt betrayed by the whole thing, and now from Lindsay. “What were you trying to accomplish?”

“As I’ve told everyone else, it’s none of your business. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. End of story.”

“Brian Kinney, you are not going to make me believe for one second that Ethan was just another sexual conquest to you. And right in front of Justin, my god, I didn’t think even you could be that cruel.”

“Well, you learn something new every day.”

“I’ll tell you one thing. For all your protestations I know you love him, and now you’ve gone and fucked it up for good this time. You’ll be lucky if he ever speaks to you again.” She took the stroller and began walking quickly, leaving Brian behind. “Gus and I can walk by ourselves today.”

Two weeks had gone by since he’d lured Ethan to his apartment, and Brian still didn’t know why he’d done it. But he had, and it worked like a charm – Justin was refusing to see or speak to Ethan despite his profuse answering-machine apologies and moonlight serenades outside of Debbie’s place. Justin hadn’t spoken to him, either, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t regret it.

He was getting ready to go to Babylon when the knock came at his door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but wasn’t all that surprised when he opened it to find Justin on the other side. He said as much. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Justin was playing cool. “Can I come in?”

Brian stepped aside. “By all means, make yourself at home.”

Justin winced at the comment, as the loft still did feel very much like home. He sat down. Brian didn’t join him, but continued to preen. Justin lost patience and followed him to the bathroom door, where Brian was shaving. Brian glanced over at his reflection. “How may I be of service, Sunshine?”

Justin scowled. “Don’t give me that. You know exactly why I’m here. What I want to know is why he was here, and why you seduced him.”

Brian paused, eyebrow upraised. “I seduced him? Now how do you know that? I could have been the victim of his charming smile and siren song just like you were.”

Justin huffed, but did not break off the discussion. Brian finished shaving under his angry watch. After he toweled off, he spoke. “I saw your boyfriend at the diner. He was looking upset and so I went over to him. He asked me why you’d been having nightmares.”

“And I suppose you told him all about it.”

“As a matter of fact, I did. And he was very upset that you hadn’t told him yourself. I was trying to make him feel better. Call it a freak act of altruism.”

Justin turned away, disgusted. Then, remembering the last thing he meant to ask about before he left Brian’s life and never came back, he took a deep breath and turned back. “Did you get my message that said I’d be coming over for some drawings that day?”

Brian looked away silently.

“You did, didn’t you? You knew I was coming and you brought him here on purpose!”

“Hey, I didn’t drag him in at gunpoint. And I certainly didn’t force myself on him. As I recall, he seemed to be enjoying it until you interrupted.”

Justin’s eyes welled up, and he turned to leave before he completely lost his composure. Coming to Brian had been a mistake. It didn’t give him any understanding, just rubbed salt in the wound. Before he could reach the door, Brian caught up with him. He waited, without looking Brian in the eye.

“Now you answer something for me. Just why is it that you’re so upset? Is it because Ethan cheated on you, or because it was me that he did it with?”

Head still turned away, Justin answered quietly. “You know why.” Then he left.

Brian, a little less sure of himself, finished getting ready and headed to the club.

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. “Sunshine?”

Justin rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. “What is it, Debbie?”

Debbie poked her head in. She spoke softly, concerned. “Honey, I know you told me you didn’t want to see him, but don’t you think it’s been long enough?”

“No, I don’t. Just tell him to leave me alone.”

“She already tried that,” Ethan said as he stepped past Debbie and into Michael’s old room. Justin glowered at her, and she mouthed “Sorry” before she closed the door behind her and shuffled down the hall.

“You can keep those flowers,” Justin said without looking up.

Ethan sheepishly brought a bouquet of roses out from behind his back and laid them down on the bed. “I know, it’s a little clichéd.”

Justin finally looked up. Ethan saw that he’d been crying. “I’ve heard all your apologies, it doesn’t make any difference.”

Ethan sat down next to him. “Then can you please tell me what will?”

“Nothing.” Justin said, matter-of-factly.

“Look, it was a big, huge, astronomical mistake to go over to Brian’s place. I know that. And I know I’m the worst boyfriend anybody ever had and that I completely deserve it if you never see me again. But please, can’t we just talk about it first?”

Quietly, Justin said, “You’re not the worst boyfriend.” He's the worst boyfriend. That much is abundantly clear.

“Justin, I love you. I didn’t go there to hurt you. I went there because you were hurting. How could I have known what a disaster it would be?”

“Oh, yeah, from where I was standing it looked like you were really upset about events.”

“We’d been smoking, I was fucked up . . .”

Justin snorted. “That isn’t an excuse.”

“You’re right.”

Ethan got up to leave, and Justin put a hand on his arm. “Wait,” he said. Ethan brightened. “I went to see Brian today.”

Ethan sat back down. “So you’ll speak to him but not to –“

Justin cut him off. “Shut up and listen. What I found out was that Brian knew I was coming. I’d left him a message earlier to tell him I’d be there that afternoon at 2:30 to pick up some drawings I’d left.”

“I’d wondered why you were there, but I didn’t think I had any right to ask.”

“Well, that’s why. And he knew it. He set you up. Us up.”

Ethan was silent. He’d been furious for what Brian did, but he hadn’t realized the extent of the premeditation involved. If Brian had wanted Justin back so badly, he could have just asked him to come home. As much as he hated to admit it, Ethan figured that was all it would really take. He shook his head, willing those thoughts away. “So, what does that mean?” he said eventually.

Justin sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe nothing.” He looked at Ethan, who was trying very hard to hide the hopeful look on his face. “Or maybe it means that we should talk about this at home.”

Ethan smiled softly. He picked up the discarded roses and thrust them towards Justin, who was slowly gathering his belongings. Justin couldn’t help but smile at the puppy-dog expression looking up at him. He took the flowers.

When Justin was finished packing, Ethan took his bag and carried it back to his – their – apartment.

Brian, Michael, and Ben were having breakfast in the diner the next morning. Michael was telling them about his ideas for the comic book, and Brian kept interrupting with details about his encounter last night with the Spanish boy he’d picked up at Babylon. Ben was watching the exchange with bemused boredom. Suddenly he looked up, and he nudged Michael. He stopped talking and stared. Brian was annoyed. “What the hell are you two ladies gawking at?” He turned to look.

Justin and Ethan had entered the diner, hand in hand. They nodded a quick hello to Michael and Ben before taking a booth out of sight of the threesome. Neither of them looked at Brian.

“Well,” Brian said sarcastically, “isn’t that sweet. The happy couple has reconciled.” Michael and Ben didn’t reply. All of a sudden their breakfasts had become fascinating. After a moment, Brian got up. “Debbie, I think I’ll take this bagel to go.”

Without another word, Brian left, alone. Ben and Mike shared a concerned look before resuming their meals and conversation.

As Ethan read the menu, Justin poked his head around the side of the booth just in time to watch Brian disappear out the door. Then, putting a smile on, he returned to his breakfast date.

end

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