1. Don't discuss personal problems - yours or theirs. This is

dangerous because it leads to a deeper level of intimacy. Don't

play the role of counselor. Recommend professional help if it

merits it.

2. Don't discuss things that reveal areas of vulnerability.

This would include such things as: "My husband doesn't give

me enough attention", "I hate living where I live".

A con artist will use your vulnerable areas to woo you,

then use you.

3. Don't let yourself become dependent on communicating online.

Are you disappointed when you don't receive email from this person?

Are you beginning to fantasize about him or her? While the grass

may seem greener, remember, in real life he may not pick up his

socks either.

4. Recognize that a con artist is an artist. A con artist will tell you

whatever he thinks you want to hear, and may be a good

"listener" only because he's trying to find out all he can about you.

5. NEVER give out your phone number or address. Criminals online

want this information for reasons that range from credit card

fraud to rape.

6. Screen names and photos can be deceiving. People may not be who

they claim to be. Be wary of pictures. It's easy to scan a photo

- anyone's photo - and claim it's you.

7. Don't accept responsibility for a liar's behavior. If you discover

that the man who claims to be a "minister" (let's say) doesn't even

know who Moses was, cut off all correspondence. Don't feel responsible

for his lies...learn from it and move on.

8. Recognize that because you can't use all your senses online,

you may feel confused. In the real world we judge people and

situations based on our visual and auditory senses. But this

isn't true online. The result is often misunderstanding about

something someone has said. In those cases try to clarify what

the person means. Don't let your imagination take control.

9. Understand that just as you present only your best side, so

does he. He isn't telling you he has a drinking problem, and

you're not telling him your laundry pile is so high it now

requires a ladder to access it.

10. Don't spend more time on the computer than you do in the

"real" world. Chatting online can become addictive. Seek to

have a balanced life. If you find most of your friends have

names like Jodi3452, then it may be time to pull back and step

outside for a breath of fresh air - and some time with real people.

I thought there was a great deal of wisdom in Jan's article.

The main thrust of her article detailed how one woman was

devastated via the Net. It seems to me that both men and

women should print these 10 Commandments out and pin them

beside their computers.

Wayne