Skate or Die? By Tony Moss The other day I nearly wound up in a fight. This came from sitting on the top deck of a bus after going to our local small, yet adequate, covered skatepark. We were sat at the back, about 7 of us, boards in hand, comparing our skateboarding ineptitude and altogether having a relaxing time, then the bus stops in a seedy area and is suddenly overran by these rat faced inbreeders from the stupid end of town. Of course their first reaction on seeing us is to demand a go of our skateboards. This is a remarkable phenomenon, which barely affects any other demographic. Saxophonists rarely get bothered for a go on their instrument, old people don’t get stopped in the street and pestered about their walking stick, and nobody in their right mind would ask a stranger if they could try their kids pushchair. But there is something about a plank with wheels that just seems to draw attention… I wouldn’t have any problem with this of course, I’m quite happy to answer these requests with a firm but fair “No…” and then go on my merry way. But it doesn’t quite work like that, as we all know. For some reason telling some stranger that no you would prefer it if they left your property alone, is taken as a personal affront. What you are saying is “No, sorry, you can’t have a go” and what they are hearing is “Your mother is a whore and her biggest spending trick is you”. Hence with this particular idiosyncrasy I found myself being pushed, insulted, and attempts made to pull the board out of my hand. Most annoying and distressing for me, as if I were to retaliate I have no illusions that I would find myself on an assault charge, something which I naturally do not want to happen. So what do I do? I take the abuse but stand my ground, safe in the knowledge that if there is going to be any serious trouble then I have an excellent weapon of self defence. My point in all this is that no matter how hard you try, how polite you are, how you keep your head down there is always somebody who is willing to stir things up because you are different to them. This difference follows no pattern, you could be gay and they are straight, you could dress individually and they follow fashion, they could blade and you could skate. Petty tribalism is rife wherever you go, and this is a human trait. It’s nice to feel like you belong in a clique and it’s fun to take the piss out of other groups, yes. It’s when this animosity extends to violent hostility that it’s time to draw the line. It takes a second to be stabbed and weeks to recover, and nobody wants to go home with a skateboard in their skull. Back to Reports