Title: Where Are You?
Author/pseudonym: Tinnean
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Kavanagh/Simon Wallis, Kavanagh/
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: Still not mine. They belong to Brad
Wright and Robert Cooper. And Sci-Fi.
Status: New/complete
Date:
Series/Sequel: This is 4 in the No One Loves Kavanagh
series and follows A Million Galaxies Away.
Warnings: Spoilers for The Intruder.
Notes: Tony has assured me that in canon, Liz and Simon *aren't* married. However, in order for Kavanagh's hostility toward Liz to make sense, I've chosen this route for them. This is for The Second Chance Fic-athon, for Kavtolanon's 2nd anniversary. Thanks to eviljr and adminhewlett of the Kavtolanon community for answering my questions, and a big thank you to Gail, who does a fantastic beta no matter what the fandom.
Where are You
Part 1/1
"General Landry."
The military commander of SG-1 barely spared me a glance before his gaze
slid away. "I'm busy."
"Please, sir. I have vital information on… "
"What part of 'I'm busy' don't you understand," his eyes
dropped to my breast pocket, where my name was embroidered, "Dr.
Kavanagh?"
"This is vital… "
"I'm sure. See my yeoman and make an appointment."
"But… " It was to no avail. I spoke to his departing back.
"Miles."
I stiffened but didn't turn. "Dr. Boek."
"I thought I was 'Jan.'" He stepped in front of me, and I had
no choice but to face the man who had taken advantage of my urgent need to
become part of the Atlantis expedition to exploit my body.
"Did you want something?" I cringed, hoping against hope that
he wouldn't exploit my unwitting double entendre, but it was too much to hope
for.
"You, Miles. I want you. How could you think differently,
especially after the lovely time we spent together?"
"I… "
"I've missed you so much! When I saw your name on the Daedalus'
passenger list, I canceled all my appointments. I wanted to be sure I was here
to greet you as a returning hero should be greeted." He stepped closer, his
breath warm upon my cheek, and he reached for my hand. "Come to my room. I
have everything in readiness. Soft lights, soft music, a vintage wine… "
I drew back, my hands behind my back, out of his reach. "I have to
find my quarters and get settled in."
"I can go with you… "
"That won't be necessary. It's been a long journey, and I'm very
tired. Good day, Dr. Boek." Would my rudeness be enough to rebuff him?
"Yes, I understand. You'll want to have a nap, freshen up, as
well." He stroked my upper arm. "I look forward to seeing you later,
Miles. We can have dinner, and then… " He licked his lips as if already
tasting me on them.
How could Dr. Boek think I would want to resume the one-sided affair
we'd once had? And yet, it was more than obvious, he did.
"Wear you hair down, why don't you? It's scraped back so tightly;
doesn't it give you a headache?" He touched my hair and smiled, his eyes
suddenly soft. "It feels like silk. I can imagine it spilling over my
skin."
I felt my cheeks heat and hurried away, leaving him standing in the
corridor.
****
My quarters at Stargate Command were smaller than those that had been
allotted to me in Atlantis and were sparsely furnished. The door did not slide
open upon my touch, the lights did not brighten or dim, and the temperature of
the water for my shower constantly needed adjusting. I'd reached adulthood
without those amenities, had only had them for little more than a year, yet I
found myself missing them.
I missed the sub-aural hum of the city as machines went about their
tasks of keeping her running.
And I missed my friends, the Athosians.
My home life had never been particularly warm, but there on Atlantis I'd
found the brother I'd never had, a grandmother who doted on me, and a nephew who
looked upon me and what I did with awe.
The only person I wanted to see on Earth was Simon Wallis. It had been
well over two years since the last time we'd been together, but he was my one
true love, and I needed to be with him again. However, when I emailed him to let
him know I was back on Earth, and to possibly arrange to meet him, the message
bounced.
I found the number for his office and called.
"Dr. Wallis' service. How may I help you?"
"This is Dr. Miles Kavanagh. I'd like to speak to Dr. Wallis,
please?"
"Are you a colleague?"
"No, I'm a… a friend."
"Well, Dr. Wallis has given up his practice here in… "
"Excuse me?"
"Yes. He's decided to concentrate on his research."
"I… I see." But I didn't. Simon had enjoyed his research,
but he'd loved treating patients. "Well, can you give me his address? Or
his phone number?"
"I'm afraid I can't give out that information."
"All right. Let me give you my cell phone number." I recited
it carefully, not wanting her to get a single digit wrong, and made her repeat
it back to me. "Please see he gets it?"
"Certainly. And your name again, please?"
"Miles Kavanagh."
"Is there anything else I can do for you, Dr. Kavanagh?"
I sighed. "No, that's all."
"Goodbye, then." And she hung up.
Oh, Simon. Where are you?
****
The days passed. In an effort to avoid Dr. Boek. I took to locking
myself away in my quarters, and as a result, I spent even more time than usual
on the computer.
My notes were all updated, and the Project scientists who looked them
over were most impressed, unlike some I could name in Atlantis.
My reports on Elizabeth Weir's mishandling of the entire Atlantis fiasco
had been emailed to General Landry and cc'd to everyone in the International
Oversight Advisory who should be notified, and I waited to hear back from them.
There was no call from Simon.
By the time more than four weeks had passed, the sight of the four walls
of my quarters began to make me stir crazy. I decided to put out feelers as to
Simon's whereabouts. Sooner or later I had to find him!
I began to daydream about our reunion. Perhaps we'd run into each other
on the streets of
~~~
"Miles!" he'd exclaim.
"Yes, I'm Dr. Miles Kavanagh," I'd respond with feigned
indifference. "Do I know you?"
"I'm Simon!"
"Simon?" I'd peer at him, as if I knew so many Simons I
couldn't recall one in particular.
"Simon Wallis! Surely you remember me! We were lovers!"
"Were we?" I'd raise an eyebrow. "Ah, yes. And you left
me without a goodbye."
"I… I know I hurt you, Miles, and I can't tell you how sorry I
am! I knew as soon as I left you that it was the mistake of my life! But I
couldn't leave
"Because you loved her so much," I'd say with a sneer.
"You loved her so much that you took me to bed! I understand."
"No! You don't understand, Miles. What we had, you and I, that
was love. With
"Didn't I say I understood?" I'd glance at my watch. "I
really must be going." And I'd wait expectantly to hear what he'd say next.
"Miles, I love you! I've missed you every day that you've been
away, and I've wished… oh, god, you can't know how I've wished! that I'd gone
to the Pegasus Galaxy with you!"
"No, it's just as well you didn't," I'd inform him casually…
~~~
… but I wouldn't tell him it was because it was too dangerous there. I
hoped to god he never got to learn first hand how very dangerous it was! Once
back on Earth, I'd stopped wearing the pendant with its colorless, odorless,
lethal contents, but I kept it on my dresser, a constant reminder of what we had
faced on a daily basis.
~~~
"Did you… did you find anyone there, Miles?" He'd take my
words at face value.
"No." I wouldn't allow the images of Peter Grodin or Sergeant
Bates to encroach on this fantasy.
He'd sigh in relief. "I've been faithful to you the entire time
you've been away. Please tell me I haven't fucked… "
I frowned. Even in a fantasy, Simon would never use such a coarse word.
"Please tell me I haven't destroyed – " Yes, that was
better. "Destroyed all my chances with you!"
"Well… "
"Please, baby!" He was the only one I ever permitted to call
me that. I'd start to waver, and in spite of us being on a busy street in broad
daylight, he'd take me in his arms and kiss me until I became lightheaded.
"Tell me you forgive me!"
Should I play harder to get? What was the point, when he loved me, and
putting him off only made the both of us suffer?
"Of course, I forgive you, Simon! In fact… " I'd take his
hand and bring him back to
~~~
I sighed happily, in spite of the semen that soaked my undershorts. And
I knew that if I could find Simon once again, our reunion would turn out exactly
that way.
****
No one who responded to my emails seemed to know anything that was
helpful beyond the fact that for some reason he'd given up his practice. "I
think I heard he was teaching a course at
But each lead was an exercise in futility. He had just left for another
seminar. He had never been there in the first place. It was a different man –
how many Dr. Simon Wallises were there on Earth?
Finally, in desperation, I approached Dr. Boek.
"I understand you've had some contact with Simon Wallis. Jan."
I forced my lips into a warm smile.
"Have dinner with me, Miles. I know a very nice little restaurant
in town. Cozy. Discreet lighting. And the food is excellent." He took my
hand and stroked his fingertips across the back of it. "I'll… tell you
everything you want to know about Simon Wallis."
"Very well, if you'd like." I wanted nothing more than for the
reluctance in my voice to make it clear that a meal was all we'd be having, but
the nuance of my tone went completely over his head.
"Excellent!" He beamed at me. "I'll pick you up about 8.
Wear your hair down. We'll have a late supper, and then… "
Once before I had whored myself in an effort to be near my lover. I
heard myself say flirtatiously, "Perhaps."
What difference would one more time make? I went to my quarters and
threw up.
Then I sat at my computer in a final bid to find my lover on my own.
By
At
"Good evening, Dr. Boek."
"You called me 'Jan' earlier today."
"Good evening, Jan."
"I like your hair down. It makes you look… younger. More at ease.
Thank you for indulging me." His gaze dragged over me, as palpable as a
touch. "You look good enough to eat!"
The normally innocuous phrase caused me to shudder. Dr. Rolf Vorstedt,
one of the biologists who'd come to Atlantis, had refused to accept that when I
said no, I meant no. In an insane attempt to change my mind, and as a form of
punishment as well, no doubt, he'd bit down on the side of my neck with enough
pressure to break the skin and leave behind a perfect impression of his teeth.
Shortly after I'd boarded the Daedalus, I'd developed an infection from the
bite. By the time we reached Earth, the wound had healed, leaving a faint scar
behind, but I was aware of it, and I was sure that if anyone looked, they would
see it also.
For this – I didn't want to call it a date, although I was sure that
was how Dr. Boek viewed it – this dinner, I'd dressed in charcoal grey slacks,
and a pale blue shirt with a collar high enough to conceal the scar, and a
darker blue tie.
"That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes."
"Thank you." I gave him a weak smile. "You're a little
early."
"I was hoping to catch you in the nude." His smile didn't
strike me as salacious, as I'd expected, but in fact as roguish.
"I wanted to look my best." I was doing this to learn of
Simon's whereabouts, I reminded myself firmly.
"Wonderful! I hoped you'd eventually see the light!"
"Shall we be going, Jan? We don't want to lose our
reservations."
"Of course not!"
"And… there will be more time for… other things… later."
I hated myself for saying that, but if it got me closer to my goal, then it was
worth that twinge of unease.
****
Dinner was a sumptuous meal, with courses that never seemed to end. It
started with a shrimp cocktail. There were only three shrimp for each of us, but
they were so large they were more than enough. A crab bisque soup was followed
by a Caesar salad.
"I must say I'm surprised such fresh seafood is available so far
from the coast." I sipped at the Sancerre Jan had poured for me.
"The chef had it flown in for me. He owed me a favor."
"Oh? And what have you done for him that he owed you a favor? Have
you been… " I bit my tongue. Had I actually been on the verge of asking
if he'd been a naughty boy? I was doing this to find Simon, not to find a
replacement for him, and especially not Jan Boek, of all men!
He leaned back in his chair and smiled at me. Fortunately, the waiter
brought out our entrees at that moment, broiled lobster with oyster stuffing.
They were accompanied by roasted asparagus and twice baked potatoes.
I took a another sip of my white wine. "You were going to tell me
about Simon Wallis, Jan."
"Was I?" He smiled wryly when I put my glass down with a snap,
and held his hand up in a conciliatory gesture. "No need to get all riled
up, Miles. I said I would, and I will. He's living in a very nice community
about ten minutes outside of
"
"Of course I know," he said, affronted. "I've made it my
business to follow Simon Wallis' exploits!" I didn't ask myself why, just
listened as he rattled off the address.
Fortunately, I had a very good memory. I repeated it to myself, then
smiled at him. "If you'll excuse me a moment?" I didn't wait for him
to say anything, just rose and hurried to the men's room. I found an empty stall
and locked myself in it, took out my BlackBerry, and did some rapid
calculations.
The earliest flight out of Cheyenne Regional was at
I used my BlackBerry to book my reservations and paid with the debit
card which had access to all the pay that had accumulated while I was in
Atlantis, then returned to the dining room and smiled at Dr. Boek.
"Is everything all right, Miles?"
"Everything is perfect!" I leaned down and brushed my lips
across his, which parted in shock.
He gave me a bemused glance. "I… I was afraid from the way you
rushed off something might not have agreed with you. I should have asked whether
you had an allergy to shellfish!" he castigated himself.
"I would have told you, Jan." I took my seat. He really was a
very nice man. He just wasn't the man for me. "Now. What are we having for
dessert?"
****
Dr. Boek walked me to my quarters. "May I… may I spend the night
with you, Miles?"
"You're asking me?"
He flushed. "I'm… I know I made a mistake the last time. I should
have tried to woo you. Instead, I put you in such a position… "
"It did batter my self-esteem." I wasn't going to lie to him.
"For the longest time I was sure everyone was talking about me because of
what we did."
"Jesus, you must have hated me, Miles."
"You weren't my most favorite person."
"I swear I never told anyone. Let me make it up to you? Please? I
promise you won't regret it! I'll treat you so well! I'm not a poor man.
Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. A house in town, a ski chalet, a boat, a
plane, horses… "
"I… I don't know what to say. I had no idea you thought of me as
anything beyond a convenient sex toy."
"You couldn't see me for Simon Wallis. I reacted poorly, I admit
that, and I can't apologize enough." His words reminded me of Rolf
Vorstedt, and I shuddered.
"I need some time to think it over, Jan."
"Yes, of course. But give me this chance; things will be better
this time!"
I let him kiss me, but I knew there could never be anything between us.
After a few moments, he drew back, breathing heavily. Odd. I'd found it
pleasant, but nothing to get excited over.
"I'd better go now, or I'll never go! You'll give me your answer in
the morning?"
I smiled but didn't commit myself one way or the other.
Dr. Boek walked away, whistling, his step jaunty.
He didn't realize. By the next morning, I would be gone to find my one
true love.
****
Once my flight landed in SeaTac, I paused just long enough to visit the
men's room in the terminal to make sure I was presentable, then hailed a cab and
gave the driver the address.
I should have taken the time to eat some breakfast, I mused, as the
driver took me closer and closer to where my lover waited.
I was too happy and excited to have any appetite, though. There would be
plenty of time to eat afterwards. After he'd kissed me. After we'd made love.
After we'd planned out the rest of our lives.
As the driver followed the curving roads, I gazed at the houses. They
were very beautiful, and obviously very expensive. This was where Simon
was living now? He had always preferred hotels, having everything no more than a
phone call to Room Service away. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.
"Here we are. You want me to wait?"
"That won't be necessary." Where Simon lived didn't matter.
What was important was that we were together at last. I handed the driver the
fare and a healthy tip – after all, his cab was the white charger that had
brought me to my lover – smiled, and got out. More than two years of waiting
and yearning and loneliness were about to come to an end.
Simon's house, like the others, was large, with numerous windows that
reflected the midmorning sun, a flagstone pathway to the front door, and lush
shrubs surrounding the vast yard.
At the end of that pathway, I would find my lover.
Swallowing again, I walked up the path and pressed the doorbell.
From somewhere in the back of the house I could hear a dog barking. I smoothed a
hand over my hair, making sure it was tucked neatly in its tie.
The door opened. "Yes?"
"Simon." I was unable to take my eyes off the man
who stood in the doorway. It had been such a long time. Such a very long time. I
wanted to throw myself into his arms and cover his face with kisses.
"Yes. Who… Miles?" Simon turned pale. "I wasn't expecting...
Weren't you off-world?"
"Yes." I'd been willing to go to the Pegasus Galaxy, willing to leave
family, friends, and the planet of my birth in order to be with the man who'd
been my first lover. Only he'd elected to remain behind on Earth.
"Well, it's... It's good to see you again." He didn't sound very
certain of that.
"I've missed you, Simon. I had to come back." No
need to tell him just yet what a witch his wife had been, how she'd jeopardized
the lives of everyone on Atlantis time and again until I'd had no recourse but
to return to Earth. However, if that gave us a second chance to be together,
than all that had gone before would have been well worth it. "Aren't you
going to invite me in?" I let my eyes chronicle his beloved face, noting
each change. I raised a hand to touch the unfamiliar grey hairs at his temple,
but he backed away, and I dropped my hand. "Simon?"
"Miles." He offered a weak smile. I didn't remember the lines around
his mouth. "I really can't... This isn't a good time… "
"Who is it, Simie whymie?" a voice called from another part of the
house, young and very female.
"It's... uh... It's just a former student of my mine."
I shivered, abruptly cold. 'Just a former student?' Was
that how Simon thought of me?
"Please, Miles," he whispered urgently.
"Please don't say anything about… about us. My… my standing in the
medical community… It won't withstand another scandal!"
Another scandal?
What was he talking about? What had been going on in the time I was away? And
how could he let anyone address him
as 'Simie whymie'?
"Well, invite him in, honey bunny." She walked up to us, although
waddled would have been a more accurate word. She was as young as her voice
indicated, possibly no more than nineteen or twenty, and very blonde, very
vapid-looking, and very, very pregnant. "I'm Debbie Buckston." She
held out her hand. "Simon's girlfriend. But we're getting married as soon
as his divorce becomes final."
"You are?" I felt light-headed.
Debbie looped her arm through Simon's and leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Yeppers. What's your name?"
"Miles Kavanagh. I... I was in the neighborhood… " It had only taken
me two jets and a taxi to get here. "… and thought I would look up
Simon… " He sent me a beseeching glance. "… that is to say, Dr.
Wallis to say hello." I took a deep breath. "Hello, Dr.
Wallis."
"That's so sweet of you! My Simie has that effect on
people, you know! People drop in from nowhere to see him."
I stared at her in shock, but she wasn't being snide. The
girl was serious!
"Everybody loves him. Well, that's how I got in this
condition." She giggled and patted her protruding abdomen. "Well,
maybe not Daddy, but that's just because he still thinks I'm his little girl,
the silly. I'm Simie's now."
"Er… yes." Simon looked like a deer caught in
the headlights. "Aren't you getting a little chilled, precious? We wouldn't
want you getting a head cold, now would we?"
"You're always looking out for me." She gave him
an adoring glance, then turned to me. "Would you like to come in and have a
drink, Mr. Kavanagh?"
"Dr. Kavanagh," I corrected sharply.
"Sorry." She blushed.
"Now, baby doll, perhaps Miles has somewhere he needs
to be. And you know you're not supposed to have alcohol."
"I know that, silly, but Dr. Kavanagh can!" She
squeezed his arm and giggled again. "Isn't it super how he looks after
me?"
"Yes," I agreed, my voice sounding hollow in my
ears. "Super. I… er… That's very kind of you, but it's later than I'd
realized, and Dr. Wallis is right; I do have somewhere I need to be," I
lied. "I didn't mean to barge in on your… " love nest. "….
Er… Congratulations on becoming a father. At your age." I couldn't resist
the snarky remark. Working with Dr. McKay must have rubbed off on me more than
I'd realized.
"I'll just say goodbye to Dr. Kavanagh. Why don't you
go in and put your feet up, precious?"
"That's a good idea. The doctor told me my ankles'll
get all fat and swollen otherwise. Boy, will I be glad when this baby decides to
get born! If I hadn't seen the ultrasound of his little willie, I'd still know
he was gonna be a boy. He kicks like Warren Beatty."
Simon's eyes took on a glazed look. "Warren Beatty is
an actor, Deb."
"I know that, but he played a quarterback with a
wicked kick!"
"In 'Heaven Can Wait.'"
"Yeah! You know movies, Dr. Kavanagh? That's so
cool!" A golden retriever wandered out to join us. He blinked large brown
eyes at me, then nudged Debbie's hand until she ruffled his ears. "This is
Fur Face."
"'Watchers'?"
Her eyes lit up, and I realized she wasn't vapid, she was
just tired. "Yes! That's my favorite of all Dean Koontz's books.
Although the movies really sucked, I thought."
"I have to agree with you." I smiled at her more
warmly.
"Ow." She blew out a breath and rubbed her
abdomen. "Boy, he's kicking up a storm today! I'd better go sit down. It
was nice meeting you." She stretched up and kissed my cheek. "Bye
bye."
I waited until she left, staring stonily at my one-time
lover. "Since when did I become 'Dr. Kavanagh' to you, Simon?"
"Miles, things change. Nothing stays the same... " Had Simon always
been this trite?
"I haven't.
I've loved you, and nothing changed that. Why couldn't you have waited for me?
Why couldn't you have come with
me?"
"My work is here. Everything I love is here. I
couldn't leave Earth. You have to understand… "
"Understand what? That you couldn't keep it in your
pants and got a girl young enough to be your daughter pregnant?"
He flinched but attempted to defend himself. "You're
being melodramatic. I'm nowhere near Dean Buckston's age!"
"You screwed with a dean's daughter? Good god, Simon, were you out of your mind?"
"You don't understand," he insisted stubbornly.
"She was so young and pretty and smelled so good, and she threw herself at me! I couldn't resist… "
"No, I guess you couldn't." Had he always been like this? Had I been
so blinded by love that I hadn't seen? "Is your wife aware?"
He looked away. "She was here about a month ago. She
thought I'd drop everything and go to the tail end of some godforsaken galaxy,
leave everything I have here on Earth, just because she loves me."
It was my turn to flinch. I'd expected the same of him, and
for much the same reason. "I guess there's nothing left to say."
"She should have stayed here on Earth. Things would
have been fine if she'd just stayed home and… "
And what? Had his babies? Tended to his house? Played the
little woman? He didn't conclude that thought. As little as I liked Elizabeth
Weir, I knew enough about her to know that a life like that would have destroyed
her as a person. Why didn't Simon, who had loved her enough to marry her, know
that?
"What will you do, Miles?"
"That's really none of your concern, is it, Simon?
Dear god, how could I have been so wrong about you?" Why the fuck
couldn't
"Miles, please!"
But I had already turned on my heel and was walking away
from the man I'd loved... who I'd thought loved me...
"Wait!"
My heart gave a leap.
"It's too far for you to walk. I'll give you a lift.
Just let me tell Debbie."
So much for a dramatic exit.
****
The drive to the airport was passed in silence on my part,
inanities on Simon's. I waited for him to say something about my hair. After
all, he was the first one to tell me I should always wear it loose. However, I
waited in vain.
"I'm kind of looking forward to being a dad. I never
saw myself in that position, but hey, it's a new experience. And I'll be working
out of Harborview Medical. It's a… a good deal."
"Is that where you'll be doing your research?"
"Uh… yes. That's right." He kept his eyes on
the road. "What about you, baby?"
"I don't think you should call me that any more."
"Yes. You're right, that slipped out." He reached
for my hand to squeeze it, then turned into the entrance to the airport and
followed the signs to Departures. "But you can see why I did what I did,
can't you? Don't be angry with me."
"It has nothing to do with being angry with you,
Simon. You're about to become a father. Your child's mother is young enough to
be your… "
"Hey! I told you I'm much younger than Dean Buckston! Much!"
The car came to a jerky stop in front of the Delta terminal.
"Perhaps, but by the time your child has graduated
from high school, you'll be collecting Social Security."
"I will not! I'll only be… " He bit off his
words and glared at me. "This isn't like you, Miles."
"How would you know what I'm really like?" God, I
felt such a fool! "We knew each other for a few brief days… What are you
doing?"
He reached over and hooked a finger in my collar, dragging
it down. "Oh, my god! What happened to your neck?"
"Nothing."
"Liz said something about those… those things,
wraiths, I think she called them. Did one of them do that to you?"
"The Wraith don't feed on blood, Simon."
"Then who…?"
"It's not important."
"It was another man, wasn't it? Another lover. Oh,
you're a fine one to talk, Dr. Kavanagh. Vowing you'd love me forever, then
taking up with the first man who shows the least bit of interest in you. And
then you have the nerve to try to make me feel guilty because I want to try for
a normal lifestyle… "
"Fuck you, Simon." I'd closed myself off from all
possibilities of love in an attempt to remain true to him, and for what? I let
myself out of the car, slammed the door, and stalked away, refusing to look
back.
And still, deep inside, I hoped he would come after me.
He didn't, of course. The sound of the engine roaring as he
gunned it to life was cut off as the door shut behind me, and I knew that he was
out of my life, totally and irrevocably.
****
I returned to Stargate Command, and when I wasn't buried in
my work, I was closed off in my quarters. I came out only for meals, and only
during the hours when I knew it was unlikely for anyone to be in the dining
hall.
It was too reminiscent of the time in Atlantis, first when
we'd arrived, and again when I'd realized that Grodin had only wooed me on a
dare.
I mourned the loss of my love, the death of my dream, the
likelihood that everyone in
****
The knocking on my door became irritated rapping. "Dr.
Kavanagh, we know you're in there!"
My concentration broken, I pushed back from my notebook,
stalked to the door, and yanked it open. Standing there was a woman with an
Asian cast to her features, and a man with thick, gray hair.
"Yes, yes, what is
it?" I growled. I'd been on the verge of discovering a way to replenish a
ZedPM using sea water, which was plentiful on Atlantis, but the interruption had
driven the formula from my mind.
The man sniffed. "This is Ambassador Shen. I'm
Chapman." Two of the people I'd sent reports concerning Elizabeth Weir. He
didn't have to tell me, "We represent the IOA."
"What do you want?"
"Invite us in, Dr. Kavanagh," Ambassador Shen
murmured. "This is not something we wish Stargate Command to be privy
to."
"Very well. Come in." I stepped back to allow
them room to enter, then closed the door. In spite of myself, I was intrigued.
While I didn't know much of the workings between Stargate Command and the IOA,
when I thought of it at all, I'd thought they were at least cordial.
Ambassador Shen and Mr. Chapman looked around, apparently
surprised at the condition of my quarters, although I couldn't understand why.
I'd always been tidy. Why should the fact that the very fabric of my life had
been torn asunder have any effect on that?
"Would you care to have a seat?" They sat, side
by side, on the loveseat, which, aside from my desk and chair, was the only
piece of furniture that would fit in the small space that comprised my living
area. "I'm afraid I don't have any refreshments to offer you."
"That is unimportant. This isn't a social call."
I nodded and sat across from them. "Then to what do I
owe the honor of this visit?"
They glanced at each other, and then the Ambassador spoke.
"We've read your report of the occurrences in the Pegasus Galaxy. Let me be
frank with you. Elizabeth Weir was not the Advisory's first choice for civilian
commander of Atlantis. However, at the time she had very strong supporters in
both the president of the
Mr. Chapman scowled. "She still has them," he
sneered in a clipped British accent.
"Beyond the fact that she wasn't your choice, you're
not telling me anything I didn't know."
"Your report has made it clear that our
instincts were correct. She must be removed from that position."
I remained silent, waiting to hear what else Madam
Ambassador might have to say.
"We understand you have your… issues… with Dr.
Weir." A subtle way of saying they knew I'd been head over heels in love
with her husband? "You see her as she is, not as everyone idealizes her to
be. Therefore, we think you'd be the ideal candidate to gather the information
we need to see her removal."
"So what you're saying is – "
"We'd like you to return to Atlantis."
She continued speaking, but all I heard was 'return to
Atlantis.' Away from
Return to a galaxy where unspeakable death could very well
lie in wait at the end of the day, but also where there were people who cared
for me more even than my own family.
As for love, I'd been burned too badly by my feelings for
Simon Wallis. I was through with it.
I interrupted her without apology. "What do you want me to do?"
~End~
