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In and Out

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Title: Mama Gets Married 

Author/pseudonym: Tinnean 

Fandom: In and Out 

Pairing: Howard Brackett/Peter Malloy 

Rating: R 

Disclaimer: They belong to Paramount and Paul Rudnick. I just take them out for a brisk canter and then rub them down and put them nicely away. 

Status: new/complete 

Date: 7/01 

Series/Sequel: This is part 7 of the Out of the Closet series.

Summary: There’s finally going to be a wedding 

Warnings: m/m, implied m/f, spoilers for the movie 

Notes: The title is taken from the musical, Gypsy. “But Mama gets married, and married, and married…” Some of the dialogue is taken from the movie. For those who aren’t familiar with it, watching the submarine races is another term for parking and making out in lover’s lane, or lookout point, or in just a really dark parking lot. And as always, this is for Silk and Gail for support and help. I couldn’t have done it without you! 

Mama Gets Married

Part 1/1 

I put the plate in the pan of soapy water and scrubbed it briskly. “You had to do that, didn’t you?” I snapped at Peter as he stood next to me, waiting to rinse the dish I handed him and then dry it. 

He had been surprised at first to find that the only dishwasher in this house was whichever male got roped into it. But he had jumped at the opportunity to join me in the kitchen while Mom and Dad spent some time on the glider on the front porch. 

Now he had the nerve to strive for a look of complete and total innocence. “Do what, babe?” 

“Don’t give me that nonsense, you…you… How could you kiss me? In front of my parents like that?” 

“Don’t people kiss in Greenleaf?” He turned away to place the plate on the stack waiting to be put in the cupboard. “Did you ever hear the story about the man who jumped out the twelfth floor window of a hotel? When they asked him why he did it, he said it seemed like a good idea at the time.” 

I turned around and just stared at him. “And that’s it? It seemed like a good idea at the time to kiss me?” I demanded. 

“Well,” he pursed his lips, and in spite of my displeasure with him, I wanted those lips on mine again. “You were hugging and kissing your Mom and Dad. I felt left out!” 

“You could have …” It started as a shout, but hastily dropped to a whisper. “…kissed my mother!” 

His mouth tipped up in a grin. “I like kissing you better. You have a wicked tongue, did I ever tell you?” 

I could feel the heat climbing up my cheeks. “No, you never told me!” I wanted to make the statement forceful, but it came out sounding forlorn. 

“Doesn’t matter, babe. I…” He pulled himself up short. “I think we’d better get going, don’t you?” 

I wondered what he had been about to say before he changed his mind.  “All right, fine. Just don’t kiss me in front of my mother and father again!” 

I emptied the dishpan and wiped down the sink. “You’re going to make someone a marvelous wife, you know that, babe?” 

“Kiss my ass, Peter Malloy!” I stalked out of the kitchen. 

His soft laughter followed me. “It’ll be my pleasure, babe!” 

I had to adjust myself. And I hoped he hadn’t noticed. 

We reached the front porch. 

“You’re leaving now, sweetheart?” 

“Yes, Mom. Peter has an early flight to catch.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Peter. But you’ll be back for the wedding, won’t you? My dress should be ready for next Sunday, and Frank already has the tux. We want you to be there, Frank and I. As Howard’s guest, of course!” 

“*Mom*! Dad!” I looked to my father for assistance. 

He just shrugged, distancing himself from this whole thing. “I told you, son. She’s insane!” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Mrs. Brackett. As a matter of fact, I’ll reschedule my trip back and stay in Greenleaf.” 

“How wonderful!” She clapped her hands. “Why don’t you stay with Howard? He has plenty of room!” 


“Great idea, Mrs. Brackett. I’ll see if I can convince him.” Peter’s hand was like a brand through my clothes. “Come on, Howard, I don’t want to keep the car out too late.” 


He opened the passenger door and waited patiently until I got myself into the car. 

“Frank, isn’t that sweet?” It was supposed to be sotto voce, but my Mom could never do sotto voce. 

Peter laughed softly and shut the door. He walked around to the other side. “Night!” he called cheerily. 

I waved to my parents. They stood on the porch, their arms around each other, and watched as we drove off. 

“You can’t keep the car out too late?” 

Peter smiled, his eyes on the road ahead. “I thought it was pretty good, for spur of the moment.” 

“Are you really going to change your flight? You don’t have to,” I hastened to say. “I mean, if you just said that to please my mother, you really don’t have to. It’s no big deal…”

“Howard, it is a big deal. I want your parents to like me.”

Was he serious? “Peter, what’s happening here?” 

“If you can’t tell, I must not be doing it right.” He pulled over to the side of the road, switched off the engine and unfastened his seat belt. 

“Don’t you tell me you’re in love with me! Don’t you dare!” 

“Oh? And why not?” 

“Because…because…because you don’t fall in love with someone in a few days!” 

“Speak for yourself, babe.” 

“I knew Emily for years. I was engaged to her for three years after I finally asked her to marry me!” 

“And it took exactly how long to call that wedding off? What’s your point?” 

“It’s too fast! You can’t be in love with me! You don’t know me!” 

“Babe, do you have any idea how much personal information is available on computer databanks throughout the United States? I know almost as much about you as your own parents!” 

“You…you do?” 

“Howard, come on! I don’t rearrange my whole life just because I meet someone with a cute ass!” Peter’s fingers played with the hair that curled behind my ear, tugging it gently. “Now, are you going to show me lover’s lane?” 

His teeth flashed white in the dimness of the car, and I shivered. My heart beat heavily, and my blood flowed thickly to pool in my groin. I licked lips that were dry from nerves. “Sure. Just take this road…” 

Before I could finish the directions, Peter slid next to me and took my head in his hands. His lips were warm and moist as they rubbed over mine. His nimble fingers had my trousers unzipped, and his hand was questing inside them. He made a pleased sound as he found my weeping cock. I moaned softly as he squeezed me. 

He drew back. “Now let’s go watch the submarine races!” 


Because most of the kids were busy celebrating their graduation, lover’s lane was almost deserted this night. Of course, there were always the diehards who frequented the secluded area no matter what. 

And along with a beat-up old jalopy bastardized from anonymous donations by the automobile industry, a twenty-year old Chevy Nova, and a Dodge Dart that had seen better days, was the family station wagon. 

Curiosity got the better of me, and I slid out of Peter’s vehicle and made my way to where the wagon was parked, its windows starting to get seriously fogged up. 

I tapped on the driver’s window, and Walter rolled it down. “Hi, Howard.” 

“Hi, Walter. Um, having a nice time?” 

“Oh sure, you bet.” My baby brother turned to his companion. “This is Howard. He teaches high school! Howard, this is Sonya. She’s a super model! And she likes me!” 

I leaned down to whisper in Walter’s ear, “You’ve got protection, Walter?” 

He smiled his sweet, slightly vague smile at me. “It’s safe around here, Howard. I don’t need a gun!” 

Peter touched my arm. I hadn’t realized he had gotten out of the car and followed me. “We’ll just leave you two to have a good time. Come on, Howard.” And he pulled me, protesting, back to his car. 

“I can’t stay here!” I told him. “I refuse to make out in a car while my brother is doing the same thing not five yards away from me! It feels…incestuous!” 

“Trust me, Howard, they will not be doing the same thing!” 

“Of course they will!” I huffed. “They’ll be making love!” 

Peter got a strange look on his face. “And that’s what you think we’ll be doing?” 

“Well, of course! I may have only just come to realize that I’m gay, but I’m not stupid you know. What would you call it?” 

“I just wasn’t sure you’d see it that way.” He turned the key in the ignition. “Buckle up, and hold on. I’m getting us back to your house, and I’m breaking all the speed limits to do it!” 

“Peter… why?” 

“I was afraid you’d think you were just an on-location fuck. And you’re not that, Howard. You never were!” He threw the sedan into reverse and backed the car out of the lane. He glanced at me when I moaned quietly. “Babe!” 

I rubbed my hand over the bulge beneath my fly, meeting his eyes. And he tramped his foot down on the gas. 


It was a bright and sunny morning. I leaned close to the mirror, fussing with my tie. A face I was becoming used to seeing in the morning appeared next to mine. “Ready?” Peter asked. 

“Nearly,” I sighed and turned so he could examine me. He tugged lightly on my bow tie and stepped back. 

“Very spiffy! Are you nervous?” 

“No. It’s only a wedding. Why should I be nervous? I just want everything to be perfect!” 

“Howard, it will be!” Peter looked so good that I almost swallowed my tongue. 

“Is your cameraman here?” I asked casually as I ran my fingers over his tie. 

“No. I’m not filming this. There are some things that are more important than show business.” Peter was trying to look pious.  And this time I wanted to swallow his tongue. 

“Really?” I threaded my fingers through his hair, tugging lightly on the short strands. “Like what?” 

For the briefest second he looked nonplussed. “I don’t know!” And he smiled. “But didn’t it sound great!” 

I leaned closer to him. “I love you, Peter!” 

His hand cupped my jaw, and he sighed. “Finally!” He would have said more, but Walter appeared in the doorway. 

“Guys! We’re starting!” 

Peter searched my eyes, and then pleased by what he read in them, he grinned and nodded in satisfaction. His tongue came out and flicked over his thumb, which he rubbed over my lips. I licked them and tasted him there. 

He took my hand and placed it over his heart. 

“The preacher’s waiting!” 

We hurried out the door, Walter hard on our heels, and made it to the church just in time. 

I walked Mom down the aisle, while Walter stood by Dad, his best man. 

My best man stood off to the side, watching as I put Mom’s hand in Dad’s and stepped aside. 

“What a truly special occasion! What an unusual couple! Bernice, after forty-two years, do you still take Frank to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

“I do!” She looked at him with such love. 

“Do you, Frank take Bernice, to be your lawfully wedded wife?” 

“I’d better!” But I saw how he regarded her. 

I glanced toward Peter, and he was regarding me in the same manner. I edged down the side aisle until I stood next to him. 

“Then I now pronounce your vows renewed for another forty-two years.” 

A hushed sigh swept over the church, and more than one observer dabbed at damp eyes. Reverend Morgan stood there, his smile becoming strained. Mom and Dad just gazed at each other, lost in the warmth of their memories. 

“Ah hem. You may kiss the bride!” That caused a stir of laughter, and applause as they kissed. 

And Peter kissed me.


On to Free Again

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