Title: The Hurt in the Heart
Author/pseudonym: Tinnean
Fandom: Bones
Pairing: Lance Sweets/Zack Addy
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: They belong to Fox and Hart Hanson.
However, if he'd treated them better, I wouldn't have had to write this.
Status: New/Complete
Date:
Series/Sequel: no
Summary: Zack has a nightmare.
Warnings: Spoilers for The Man in the Fallout Shelter
from Season 1, and The Wannabe in the Weeds and The Pain in the Heart from
Season 3.
Notes: This is my response to the Season 3 finale, The Pain in the Heart. The writers totally screwed up a decent character, leaving me no choice but to correct their error. Thanks to Gail. She does the best betas.
The Hurt in the Heart
By Tinnean
Dr. Lance Sweets wasn't sleeping well.
He hadn't been sleeping well since…
Well, it had been a while.
Things were worse now. Not because he'd started the affair
with Zack Addy, who was also a doctor, albeit a PhD. He'd been surprised to find
himself attracted to the youngest squint, because he'd been fantasizing over the
luscious Agent Booth.
It was safe gazing at Seeley Booth with longing. The
longing didn't even need to be concealed very carefully. Both Booth and Dr.
Brennan were too involved with each other – not on a romantic level, of
course. Neither of them was as in touch with their feelings as they tried to
convince him they were during their joint sessions.
But then Booth and Dr. Brennan had agreed to let him
continue to work with them, profiling cases, and he'd gone to the Jeffersonian
and met Zack Addy.
Zack was a year older, not that that was the problem.
Sweets was used to dating people who were older than he was, but Zack actually
looked four years younger.
Zack had to be the most clueless individual he'd ever met.
For some reason, Sweets found that totally arousing.
"I understand you've cut your hair," he said,
gazing meaningfully into Zack's eyes. "I'd really love to see how you look
with it longer."
He was nonplussed when the scientist pulled out a photo of
the entire crew of squints, plus Booth and a man he'd never seen before.
"This was taken at Christmas a couple of years ago. We were quarantined to
the lab. Here's Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan, Jack, Angela. This is Dr. Goodman,
who was in charge of the Jeffersonian before Dr. Saroyan. She isn't in this
picture because this was before she arrived to take over."
"Uh… "
"That wasn't what he meant, was it, Dr. Sweets?"
Hodgins said, grinning at Sweets' dismay.
"Um… "
"It's okay. We all know you're gay, and it doesn't matter- "
"You what?" How could Hodgins know that,
when Sweets himself hadn't been certain?
Hodgins patted him on the shoulder, a little harder than
was necessary, if Sweets wanted to be honest about it. Surreptitiously he rubbed
the offended joint.
"Just don't hurt our boy."
"Yes. If you did, we'd have to kill you, and we're
skilled enough to get away with it." When had Angela arrived on the scene?
"But… but… "
She smiled at him, an expression he'd always thought was
filled with care and understanding, but now he saw nothing but grim
determination in it.
"Agent Booth would never let you get away with
it!" After all, Agent Booth was Sweets' friend. Kind of.
"You don't think so, Sweets?" Agent Booth stood
there grinning. Were these people cat burglars in another life? How could they
sneak up on him like that, without him knowing it?
"What doesn't Sweets think?" Dr. Brennan walked
in, and he turned to her as the most rational, logical person in the room.
"All I did was tell Zack… Dr. Addy… that I was
interested in seeing what he looked like before he cut his hair, and these…
these… "
"Careful, Sweets."
He glared at Agent Booth. "Everyone is totally jumping
to the wrong conclusion! Seriously!"
"And what is the correct conclusion, Sweets?"
"I… I… "
"I don't understand what's going on," Zack said.
"Of course you don't, sweetie." Angela went to
him and rubbed his shoulder, and Sweets couldn't help noticing it was a much
more sympathetic gesture than Hodgins' had been to him.
"Is someone going to explain it to me?" Dr.
Brennan asked.
"I think we'll let Dr. Sweets do that. Just remember
our warning, Sweets. Booth has a gun, and we've got sharp knives." Hodgins
smiled at him, not a nice expression at all. "We'd have no problem
dismembering you and hiding the evidence in 'Limbo'."
"Huh?"
"It's the room where we keep boxes of bones… Never
mind. What did you want, if it wasn't to see a picture of me before I'd cut my
hair?" Zack looked confused, making him appear even younger than usual.
"I wanted you to… Y'know what? Forget it. This was a
total mistake." Flushed with embarrassment, Sweets glanced around,
expecting to see everyone grinning at his discomfort, only to find that he and
Zack were alone.
"I still don't understand." Zack touched his arm.
"Why don't you explain it to me?"
So Sweets did, over a cappuccino.
****
That was the start of it. Sometimes Zack would sing to him,
that gorgeous tenor voice of his sending chills up and down Sweets' spine. And
sometimes, while Zack was making mad, passionate love to him, Sweets would sing
for Zack.
If the others noticed that Zack wasn't spending as much
time in the lab after hours as he usually did, they kept that observation to
themselves.
And if Hodgins noticed that Zack wasn't sleeping every
night in his apartment above the garage, he wasn't saying anything either.
And if he saw Sweets' car parked in front of the garage all
the other nights, he didn't tell the others.
Well, maybe except for Angela. She looked at him with the
knowledge in her eyes that on the nights when Zack did sleep in his own bed,
Sweets was there sleeping with him.
****
It all turned to shit when the woman they'd been told was
called Fat Pam started stalking Booth.
Sweets could have told him it wasn't a good idea for him to
touch her shoulder, but he hadn't been asked. And besides, it had happened so
quickly, there was no way he could have stopped it.
He told himself that. So did Zack.
Booth brushed aside his worries, as did Dr. Brennan, which
didn't really surprise him, since while no one understood bones better than she
did, she was totally clueless when it came to human interaction. Totally.
And then Fat Pam had aimed her gun at Dr. Brennan, and
Booth stepped between them and took the bullet…
****
So it wasn't surprising that Zack had started to act weird,
distant and cool.
He'd told Sweets how much he looked up to and admired the
FBI agent, and Sweets had totally not used his professional expertise as a
psychologist to worm that information from his lover. He wasn't jealous. Nope,
not one little bit. Seriously.
But now Angela's eyes were red from all the tears she'd
shed, and Sweets had never seen Hodgins look so defeated. Dr. Brennan did what
she did best – she compartmentalized, and if she cried at home, he couldn't
tell.
And Zack… Zack had just shut down.
****
It was two whole weeks, fourteen days, and Booth still
hadn't come out of the coma he'd slipped into. The doctors all assured them it
was just because of the amount of blood Booth'd lost, that it was just a
matter of time, but Sweets could see none of the squints believed them.
Even Dr. Saroyan stopped listening to them.
So it was no wonder why Sweets wasn't sleeping well.
Neither was Zack.
"You may as well go home, Lance."
"No, I'll stay." Sweets was proud of himself for
not letting Zack see how much it hurt hearing his first name. It had taken a
while for him to realize that when everyone at the lab called him 'Sweets,' it
was their way of showing their acceptance of him.
"I won't feel like making love." He hadn't since
Booth had been rushed to the hospital, not even that first night. Wasn't there a
theory about the urge to reaffirm life? Where had that gone?
"No, that's okay," Sweets assured him. "We
don't have to do anything. I'll just hold you."
Zack shrugged. "I don't understand why you'd want to
do that."
"You're my- my lover. Can't I… " Sweets hated
the way his throat clogged and his voice hitched, making him sound like an
adolescent. He swallowed and tried again. "Can't I just want to hold
you?"
Zack shrugged again. He went into the bathroom and shut the
door, and when he came out, he was wearing his plaid flannel pajamas, buttoned
high to the throat. Without saying another word, he climbed into bed.
He held himself stiffly as Sweets crawled in after him, put
an arm around his waist, and pulled him close.
"I said- "
"Shhh. I'm just holding you."
Zack sighed. It was a long time before his breathing evened
out to indicate deep sleep. It was even longer before Sweets dried his cheeks
and surrendered to the siren lure of much-needed sleep.
He didn't think he'd been asleep long when he was jolted
awake by the tossing and turning, the incoherent muttering of his lover.
"Zack, what's wrong?"
"No... I won't… You can't make me… I don't
believe… Jack, I'll pour the monomer into the thermoplastic. You can… Oh no!
Oh no! My hands!" Zack cradled his hands to his chest, moaning and writhing
as if to escape unbearable pain. "My hands!"
"Zack! Zack! It was a dream! Nothing more than a
dream!"
"What?" Zack opened eyes that were still cloudy
from the nightmare. As if terrified of what he might find, he raised his hands
to eye level. "Oh, my god, you're right!" A single tear rolled down
his cheek, and Sweets tenderly caught it on his fingertip.
"What were you dreaming?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"I know you don't, but as a psychologist, I'll have to
insist. It will make you feel better."
"That's what those shrinks said after I came back from
Sweets could feel Zack moving further and further away from
him even though he was still within arms' reach. He bowed his head, his forehead
touching Zack's. "Oh, babe, please don't shut me out! I couldn't bear
it!"
"Sweets." There was wonder in Zack's voice.
"You… you love me?"
"What did you think these past months were?"
"I don't know. I didn't think. I was afraid if I
asked, you'd just tell me you felt sorry for me."
"Oh, Zack, for a couple of child prodigies, we were
total dunces, weren't we?"
"Total." Zack's laugh was watery. "Let's
nuke some mac and cheese, and I'll tell you about the nightmare."
They went into the small kitchen, and Zack took a box of
Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese from the freezer.
"So that's why Dr. Saroyan calls you Zackaroni."
Zack laughed. "That's the first time anyone ever gave
me a nickname. Don't tell her, but I kind of like it."
Sweets wouldn't tell him, but he kind of liked it too. He
only wished he'd known Zack earlier so he could have given it to him.
Zack removed the plastic wrap, put the plastic container in
the microwave, and set the timer for eight minutes. Then he began to talk.
Sweets kept quiet and listened.
****
"Wow, that was one weird nightmare," Sweets said,
once Zack was done talking. "But there's no way you would have become a
serial killer's apprentice."
"You don't think so?"
"It's not a matter of not thinking so, it's a matter
of knowing so. I know you, Zack."
"But Gormogon's logic?"
"Fuck his logic. It would take him more than three
months of chance meetings to brainwash you into going along with not only
killing another human being, but putting your team members at risk as
well."
"I guess."
"And I'll tell you something else: being willing to
put your life on the line to save Hodgins, even in your sleep, shows you would
never buy into Gormogon's theory of the human experience as a whole being of
more value than a single person's life!"
"You… you think?"
"I know, Zack. I have to tell you one thing
though. Looting Limbo for canine teeth to make Gormogon a set of dentures? That
is seriously fucked up. I think you've been reading too much Stephen King!"
That got Zack to laugh. The microwave had been pinging for
a while, letting them know the mac and cheese was done, and he went to it now to
take it out. "Get a couple of forks, okay?"
"No plates?"
"No. We can share?" There was a note of hope in
Zack's voice, and Sweets smiled in relief.
"I like that idea."
Just then Zack's phone started ringing. Since Sweets was
closest to it, he checked out the display. "It's Dr. Brennan."
Zack's eyes widened, and he turned pale. Sweets felt kind
of pale himself.
He swallowed and picked it up. "Dr. Addy's
residence."
"Zack, are you okay? You don't sound like
yourself."
"That's because this is Dr. Sweets."
"Sweets? I don't understand."
"I'll explain later, Dr. Brennan. Why are you calling
now?"
"It's Booth! He's come out of his coma. and he's
asking for apple pie!"
"Booth's out of his coma, Zack!"
"Sweets? Zack?"
But the phone had fallen from Sweets' hand as Zack grabbed
him and pulled him into an embrace.
~End~
