Tuesday, April 29 Gulf Shores Beach House

Hey there short update today, just got back into town fro my weekend excursion to Gulf Shores Alabama. It was an awesome trip and I'm not looking forward to sitting in cubical hell tomorow. But here are the first batch of pictures from the trip.

Wednesday, April 16 Cher, TV's Talking Horse

As you know, we here at State of the Greg just love us some Cher. (sarcasm) Today I found an article about how Cher's farewell tour concert nabbed 16.6 million viewers, prompting me to ask, WHY THE HELL WOULD 16.6 MILLION PEOPLE WATCH A CHER CONCERT?!? Yes I know how impressive it is to get a horse to put on those skimpy outfits, and even more impressive to teach it to sing. But again I am forced to ask America why do we keep making Cher famous?

First with that ridiculous "I got you babe" song that she sang with Sonny "watch out for that tree" Bono, then her stints on Scooby Doo (guess they wanted an animated talking horse to go with the animated talking dog), then I thought she'd go away, not unlike the Harlem globetrotters and Scooby Dumb. But noooo she had to start winning Academy Awards, then she appears almost naked in the Turn Back Time video riding a giant cannon on a battleship. Why won't she go away?!

A few years ago, when I thought the world had forgotten about her, she slaps on a vocoder (that robotic-sounding voice modulator thing) and releases yet another song, and is immediately famous again. Then every crappy, no talent musician has to throw some vocoder into their music and we end up with stuff like Britney Spears. (who looks remarkably like my parents cocker spaniel, only with a nicer butt) Anyway, no more Cher, she is famous enough, has enough awards. Hell, I'd even create an award just to give it to her so that she'd go away. Congrats Cher you are the first recipient of the Greggy Award, for outstanding outstandingness in the field of outstanding annoyances. No speech, just go away.

Monday, March 10 Oops

OK thought something exciting was going to be written today, but I thought wrong. I did get a call that I was rehired by Lockheed. Go me.

Tuesday, February 26 Wok the Dog

Perhaps my roomate should have been more specific when she said to walk her dog?

Friday, February 14 Dems' Da Breaks

Yet again I go missing for a few weeks. This time I have a decent excuse. I managed to break my finger in 3 places during a football game. (flag football, I'm an embarrassment to my family)So I'm all casted up, and I have to hold my hand all twisted to the side to avoid hitting the wrong keys. While sitting around doing nothing I decided to redo the "business-end" of StateoftheGreg.com. Here is a test image. The other pages aren't done, so the buttons don't work yet. But they will soon.

Wednesday, January 29 Old man Greg

Today is the day after my birthday. I'm 26. To celebrate, I got my ass kicked in football. I went out all excited to play a friendly game of flag football, and got so soundly beaten, that I found myself wanting to tackle the other team. The other team even had a few girls on it, used mainly as pass rushers. Nothing feels better than getting beat down in football then having a 70 LB girl trash talking you afterwards. "Wow, I really burned you on that play old man"

I didn't make any mistakes this time around though, so at least I wasn't mad at myself. I played pretty hard too, which might be why everything from my waist down feels like an angry mongoose was dropped into my pants. In fact I played so hard that when I got home I looked up at my three flights of apartment stairs almost decided that it wasn't even worth trying to make it to the top. It seemed that insurmountable, but I hired a Sherpa and he guided me safely to the top.

Friday, January 24 He does it again.

Lookie there true believers, yet another entry into the State of the Greg weblog, and only 1 (one) day wait. Perhaps this slacking on the web site thing is a thing of the past? Let's just see what the weekend brings.

So I was reading a newspaper article tonight about a college student who ate so poorly that he developed scurvy. That is AWESOME. Imagine, eating so badly that you get a disease that people once only got when they were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean thousands of years ago. The sailors that usually got it had resorted to eating rats for nourishment, but this guy is in his posh apartment eating crackers and cheese every day and slamming it down with a nice big soda. Sir, I may be unhealthy with my anti-vegetable stance, but you are a moron.

Enough of that rant, anyway, today was a pleasant day, didn't go to work as there are strange contract negotiations going on, so I began planning for what happens if these negotiations fall through. We'll call this Plan B. Usually plan B was the one that Wile E Coyote resorted to after Plan A rocketed him off of a cliff. Here's hoping that won't happen, I hate plummeting.

Thursday, January 23 Resolve this!

New Years Resolutions:

1. Keep on updating the web site

2. Get in shape

3. Live life better

OK, its January 23, this is my first web site posting of 2003, so I guess the first resolution is out the window. I wanted to, its just damn hard to be funny when things are going right in my world. No scorpion attacks, no alphabetizing books, and I have a decent job. (there's a little more to the last part, but we'll talk about that next time)

Get in shape. Yup your faithful web host has decided to join a flag football team. And we actually won our first game. I have an extra point, several receptions, a touchdown saving tackle, a pulled hamstring, shin splints and a bone bruise on my thumb from punching my teammate's watch. Perhaps I should go back to being unhealthy? It seems to keep me out of trouble.

Live life better. I wake up, go to work, come home and read with my dog laying on my feet. I guess that is living life the good way. That part I have no complaints about. I'm trying to go through life without hurting anyone either (myself included). I'm doing a so-so job at that too.

So much for New Years Resolutions. I guess Ill have to go to the one year where my resolutions panned out. junior year in college, the resolutions?

1. get an internship

2. see two girls make out on my couch

by January 7th I got my internship, and at the party I threw celebrating said job, I saw 2 girls making out on my couch. My one victory in 25 years of missed resolutions.

 

Monday, Dec 9, 2002 Why?

I just saw Bowling for Columbine and it really made me think. If you don't know anything about it, it is a documentary made by Michael Moore (the most unkempt man in America) about gun violence. The title refers to how blaming the Columbine massacre on Marilyn Manson is about as ridiculous on blaming it on the bowling class that the 2 students had that morning. The movie is very deep and thought provoking but does annoy me on some points.. I'll probably delve deeper into that someday, but not at 1:30 on a worknight.

Anywho, apparently Iraq delivered a 12,000 page document on the nuclear and chemical weapons program that they DON'T have. I also do not have a nuclear program and could declare that to the UN in one page. It could even be typed up in bold letters and double spaced and would say "I don't have a nuclear weapons or chemical weapons program" then I'd sign the bottom.

Monday, Oct 21, 2002 I'm da man

OK, OK so its been awhile since I've updated the site. So let see what's happened in the past month or so. First I got a job. Not just any job but a job working for one of the biggest defense contractors in the world (Lockheed Martin). My official title is Simulation Database Engineer, and if I tell you what that means, I have to kill you. (I've always wanted to say that) Its a pretty cool job, and I'm doing all the stuff I never thought I'd be able to do, and I'm only one or two work related injuries away from my own F18 Super Hornet. Doesn't it make you feel safer knowing that I'm helping protect the free world?

In other news, my favorite football team, the Gators has been letting me down recently. From losing to Ole Miss and LSU, and narrowly beating Auburn they've not been good on the heart this year. I am one field-goal-for-the-win away from a massive coronary. I think I need to take up a less stressful hobby like crochet, or maybe become a Bengals fan so that I don't expect a win every time I watch a football game.

Finally, I am moving.... again.. Not that it matters to the people who didn't see my current place, but Ill be moving to a really nice place in east Orlando. Its overlooking a Best Buy so it is sufficiently dangerous for my bank statement to live there. The complex itself has a bar, a surround sound theater, and a parlor where you can get facials and massage. So feel free to visit. Yeah my life sucks... ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ahh h ha ha ha ha haa (beat me at will)

Wednesday, Sept 11, 2002 Updates Galore

Updated the 3D pages with some renders of a real time 3D project involving everyones favorite 80's cartoon, GI JOE. Also added rendered views of my final portfolio and an updated resume.

In other news sharonsegal.net is coming along nicely, I update it as more and more of her rendered art work comes in. So far the 2D and Logo design section is designed with the finishing touches being the copywriting, the resume page in finished and I am about to begin working on her 3D section.

Monday, Aug 26, 2002 Sick Sick Sick

I become so whiny when I'm sick, but you'd whine too if there was a small dwarf living in your head that liked playing piñata with your sinuses. He also likes pushing on my ear drums making the feel like they are going to explode. Perhaps the Robitussin is making me hallucinate a bit. I also found a brand new way to find my web site on a search engine. Not only will "CNN gay rumors" and "naked pictures of Eddie Vedder" bring up Stateofthegreg.com but so will "kirsten supercuts" and "underwater soft porn movie trailers" What the hell is wrong with people today?

In other news, I started building Sharonsegal.net today. It's a web site for a computer animation student, built to be used as a portfolio. Its nowhere near done, I really only started on it about an hour ago, but Ill put it here to add some color to the place. (that's SO Martha Stewart of me)

Saturday, Aug 24, 2002 Gay porn on State of the Greg?

Well I was taking some time to track my web site statistics when I discovered something disturbing. Apparently you can track what keywords people typed into a search engine to find your web site. Well, I would like to take this time to thank those 2 people that managed to find my web site by typing in:

"CNN gay rumors"

and

"naked pictures of Eddie Vedder"

I am sure they were very disappointed when they found pictures of puppies and graphic design. Man I am going to kill my marketing director...

Tuesday, Aug 14, 2002

Hey kiddies, been awhile yet again. I've started work on a more professional looking web site to coincide with this one. This one will still be the same but you'll get to decide where you want to go at the beginning, either the "new hotness" or "the old and busted". Yup the lame Flash animation will be going away in a few weeks. The 2 sites will allow me a few options I don't usually have. First of all I can re-post all those pictures of Kimmie on the toilet. I can also be more clever and opinionated (read: tell dirty jokes, and say "ass" a bunch more) Neat huh?

OK, in other news I finally finished up that interface that I spoke about a few weeks ago. I designed the graphics and sent them to Uber-programmer Mark Kesley. He did some programming mojo and brought me back a great looking, very cool interface. His wife Holly also helped with the voice-over work. It is basically the type of thing you would see on a CD Extra type CD, where you pop in the disc and a video pops up. Anyway, it is online for all to see at http://www.kesley.com/media/group/. If you want to check out some of his other work, go to Kesley.com

Sunday, Aug 4, 2002

Fresh from the oven (Tampa) here are some pictures from the Warped Tour. Since I am exhausted from editing the pictures, and from being in the sun for 12 hours I'll post more about how I got them. I smell a State of the Greg coming.... Besides, I didn't get much sleep last night, I had to earn those photo passes somehow right? A special thanks to T-bone, Gunther, and Roaddogg for.. uh... nevermind...

Warped Tour 2002!!

Friday, Aug 2, 2002

Its Friday! But not just any Friday, its the Friday before I get to go backstage at the Warped Tour. OK I'm bragging, but I've been working nonstop this week on a 3D animation, so I am allowed this one chance to brag. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Here's those test renders I promised, in various stages of completion.

Thursday, Aug 1, 2002

Hey everyone! Greg again. Just been busying myself with a quick reteaching of 3D studio Max. I'll post some test renders in a few days. I'm attempting to make a candlelit scroll for a project, and its coming out pretty well.

The Forum seems to be gaining speed. As of now its been up for 5 days, and we have like 18 members. So far everyone's being civil as well, which is good, but slightly less fun.

Well its almost time! The counter below is counting down the days until Florida Football! The Zook era begins, and I am excited. I've heard good things about how the team is coming together behind the new coach so lets see what will happen. If we lose a game however, I will be looking for a job and I am sure with all my NCAA 2002 Playstation experience, I will do a good job. Hell I beat Florida State by 44 points.

Saturday, July 27, 2002

Changes galore out there. First you now have a nifty guestbook button for you to play with, might I suggest doing so?. As well as something even cooler, the brand new... State of the Greg forum! OK, here's the deal. I rant and rave about something insignificant, like scorpions, and take up bunches of your time in doing so. THEN you go over to that forum button and click it. Magically you will be whisked away to the forum area (special thanks to pingpeng.com) where you can post your thoughts, insult me, tell me how much I rule, or even offer me a job! Yes its fun for everyone, and now the interactive experience, that is Greg (the "g" stands for gratuitous) is THAT much more interactive.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

StateoftheGreg.com has a brand new home. This will mean nothing for you, but you will notice that the lovely pink YM magazine pop up ads will no longer be a hassle. Other coolness includes a faster connection for ya'll so it doesn't take forever to get stuff off the site, AND this brand new guestbook for you to make fun of me in. Go nuts, but be nice. I'll have to spend time adding additional links to it but that's good for now.

In other news, OK I have no other news, all I do is work on computer projects. Tomorrow I get to start calling ad agencies though. Isn't that fun?

Wednesday, July 16, 2002

First of all a little bit of thanks to Mark Kesley. He is like the Rainman of programming. Definitely definitely a good programmer. He helped me write some code for the dropdowns which are now working smoothly above (more on that later). If you need any programming done, get in touch with me and I'll patch ya though.

More updates on the ole' site here, the aforementioned drop down menus actually go away now after 3 seconds, that means that if ya'll can't figure out which page you want to go to within 3 seconds then you are going to have to move your lil mouse hand back up to make the dropdown....er... drop down. I also added some navigation to the bottom of the page, it'll make things easier when you are falling out of your chair laughing at my rants and raves. The opening animation is slightly less annoying, and now you will be able to see it if you have older versions of Flash. If you do have older versions, you can also update to newer ones. Think that's about it for changes.

I'm a little bit traumatized over a close encounter with a frog I had today. I hate frogs, no, I am terrified of frogs. Well there was this one frog that wasn't aware of the rule that states: Frogs are supposed to be outside. So the frog decided it would be fun to hang out on my futon for awhile, until I decided to track down my yardstick and flick his little green ass out the door.

Just call me Kemar the Frog Slayer.

Monday, July 15, 2002

Phase 1 of Operation: Get-yo-lazy-ass-a-jobby-job is now underway. This complex maneuver involves me turning myself from computer geek working all hours of the night on the computer, into computer geek working all hours of the night on the computer and GETTING PAID. If things go the way I plan, I'll be rolling around on a bed full of money by February, if things go as they were, Ill be serving you fries.

Just kidding. Get off the floor parents! If anybody doesn't hire me they'll miss out on a real talent... like the type of talent that can make these nifty looking things....

Respectively, they are: A design for a futuristic interface, it is currently unfinished, but it will eventually be fully functional. A logo for State of the Greg, if it were a delectable chocolate and cream sandwich cookie, and a test I did on how to make my own lightburst without using plug-ins. (some tutorials were involved)

Hey you aren't done yet! There's more State of the Greg at the SOTG Archive!