Little Old Self Centered Me

Okay, I don't mean to bore you to death, but today was my first day at my new job and I have no one to tell, except you and my pop, who came stumbling home roaring drunk and singing songs in Hebrew.

"Howa er duh. Huh? Ja - wha? You got ja wha?"

That's been the most intelligent conversation I had all day, and it was one sided and smelled of whiskey.

So, I work for PMC Magna Corp. And they finance people who want to get plastic surgery but can't afford it right away. The boss the is a tyrant and is wife is about 50 years old and doesn't have one piece of real skin anywhere on her body. He threw a tempter tantrum today and broke a copier machine. But, he likes me. He calls me "Kid" and tells me I remind him of his youngest daughter. So, I really don't care how awful he is, as long as he's nice to me.

Anyways, I'm completely reorganizing the filing cabinets for now. Then they're giving me my REAL job, as a loan consultant and data entry specialist. I like to say specialist because it sounds so much more important than clerk. Clerk is the kind of noise people make when they belch. I hate being called any kind of clerk. Especially a filing clerk. Because, well, they're the worst kinds.

And there is this one really fucking hot chick I work with, but I've only been there a day and she's already talking behind my back, so fuck her in the ass.

It has recently been brought to my attention, that I am very self centered. I never really thought of myself as a very self centered person, because I know I sacrifice a lot, and I really don't mind sacrificing a lot if it's for something I care about. Like my family, I hate the Hell out of them, but I'd still do anything for them because they're family.

Anyways, I've kept in contact with just about all my old boyfriends. We're all still friends, believe it or not, and every one of them told me that I didn't pay any attention to them. That I didn't listen to them and that I only cared about myself.

That is blatantly not true! Certainly, I live my life for me. I don't conform to anyones expectations of me and I do what I please and if my boyfriend at the time doesn't like it he can very well piss off. It's just the kind of person I am. Of course I cared about everything they said, just, sometimes may be I had no words to respond, or may be I was preoccupied, or may be THEY'RE the self centered ones.

In any case, I think they're problem was that they were trying to tie me down. And now that I think about it, I want a companion, not a boyfriend. Someone I don't HAVE to be monogomous with, but want to anyways, because that's just the kind of person I am.

Of course, I romanticize about getting married and settling down and having the three children family with the golden retriever and the big house in the suburbs, but could I really live that life? May be, with the right fellow. But, that I'd be TRULY happy is rather unlikely.

I'd make a terrible wife. I can't cook. I'm a lousey housekeeper, and I'm not even sexy. May be if I married a rich man that could hire a cook and a housekeeper and get me a ton of plastic surgery. But, I don't want plastic, though I might keep the cook and the housekeeper. I'm much better for conversation and/or a conversational piece. I'm good at keeping things lively, and I'm not flaky. I'm very punctual and responsible. I'm just very open, down to Earth, and I'd like to think of myself as wild, but I know I'm not.

Anyways, all about me. Me me me. May be I am a self centered cat. Most of them are. Anyways, I'm going to go and stare at myself in the mirror. See if I can make myself spontaneously combust. But, wait, if I make myself spontaneously combust, it's not really spontaneous, now is it.

Cheers,
Lost