Jump out of a tree and knock him out, or out from an alley. No matter how much he hits you: DON'T LET GO. Hold onto the head, if he's bigger than you and go for the eyes. Shove your house key up his nose. Fuck the karate crap. I'm talking gross movement and down and dirty. Kick his ass. Throw rocks, wrap a chain around your fist, hit him with a two by four with a nail in one end and go for the fucking nuts.
I've been in more fights than I can remember and what I've learned is:
If you're nervous about fighting this guy? Just remember you'll feel a million times better once you do, you'll get your bike back almost for sure and if you don't, well, beat him up again, or just relish in the fact that you feel better. Plus, all your friends will think you're much more kick ass.
And, if you leave him permanently handicapped or disfigured, you'll have a trophy for life. Take a picture of him when you can and keep it with your wieghts so you can look at it when you want to get pumped up.
O YEA BABY! IM READY TO FIGHT!
Really. The two greatest feelings of the world are
Number 1: An orgasm... can't beat that.
A little pain goes a long way. And don't yell at him too much before you do it. You want to catch him completely off gaurd. Don't give him ANY warning. Don't even let him SEE you, if you can avoid it.
And if you can knock him out cold long enough, take his fucking wallet and anything else you can strip him of. Who cares if it's worth anything. If it is, all the better, but take everything you can just to make him feel like shit.
Cheers,
House hold weaponry is an art.
Fighting a bigger guy is no fun.
Fighting a smaller guy is even less fun.
But, fighting dirty is ALWAYS fun.
So, don't worry. If you end up needing stitches, hey, all guys goes through that. Just don't break anything. You'll be fine.
Number 2: Winning a fight
Lost
