2. Let your family and friends know your relationship has ended. Now is the time for you to seek that extra tender loving care and emotional support from your family and friends. Going through a breakup is code for others to know that they need to send you their love and care. They won't know it unless you tell them though.
3. Do NOT rush out and find someone new. Flings are not the answer. It is imperative that you give yourself time to heal and deal with the issues or else you will just carry them over as baggage to your next relationship, and it will end in the same manner. Each relatonship only creates more and more emotional baggage. We must deal with our problems, not run from them. They do not leave, but show up repeatedly, until they are dealt with and you are healed from repeating these patterns again with someone else.
4. Find a therapist if you need someone to talk with and vent your feelings. Or at least have one special friend you can talk to about what happened. It is through talking things out that we can see our patterns and correct them. It takes from six months to two years to get over a break up, and unless you give yourself that much time to heal you will be worse off in the long run.
5. Realize that there are two sides to every relationship. It was not all your fault or your partners. Take responsibility for your own actions. But do NOT take all the blame on yourself either. Don't keep playing the regret game and wondering if you did this or that, would it have made any difference? Once a decision has been made to break up the relationship, then live by that decision and do NOT cry over spilled milk.
6. Do NOT talk on the phone to each other. Do NOT send each other emails. Do NOT write each other letters by regular mail. Do NOT leave voice messages. A break up is like forming a scab over a sore. If you keep peeling off the scab the wound will never heal. Each time you talk to each other, you are peeling off that scab and opening up the wound again. However, it is necessary for proper closure, so one time is allowed to get everything said between the two of you that needs to be said to clear the air, then move on with your life.
7. Have faith in yourself that your next relationship will be a better one and right for you in every way.
8. At some point, you will feel the urge to get back with your ex. Leopards do not change their spots. If you couldn't make it work before, you will not be able to make it work now either. Have a close buddy that you can call when the urge hits you to contact the ex for a reunion.
9. When you get horney, do not contact your ex. Go to My Pleasure and purchase a sex toy because you are better off using it than getting back with your ex.
10. Do not stalk your ex by driving by his/her area, or contacting his/her friends, or waiting outside his/her door. This is illegal to do, and they can have you arrested for it.
11. Give yourself time to heal. You will know when you are healed. You will see your ex one day and wonder whatever did you see in him/her in the first place? Or you will meet someone new that things just seem to fall into place with both of you. Most people want instant healing to take effect when a break up occurs, but the only instant cures I know of are hypnosis which just lasts a few days and EFT which can be permanent if done properly. This might help you to cope better with your pain and grief.
12. Think about all your relationships you have had and see if you can detect the patterns of choosing the wrong person. Make out a list of qualities you like in a person and qualities you do not like in a person. In the future, refer to those lists to not make the same mistakes.
13. In any relationship, your inner self will give you warnings when something is not right. Red flags will pop up. Your gut intuition will tell you something is wrong. Don't deny the truth when it is staring you in the face. Never tolerate things you know you should not tolerate. Take the necessary steps to always protect your heart yet remain open to real love. If you box yourself up like a hermit, you are shutting yourself up inside the box too, so love cannot find you.
14. You must realize that with every new relationship, you are taking another chance with love. We have no guarantees it will or will not work though. Try to see all the good you can in your partner. Don't focus on his/her bad points. Love him/her with all your heart. Make him/her first in your life except for God. He should always occupy that position. Pray together and play together. Become each other's best friends, faithful companions, and finally passionate soulmates in a love relationship.
15. Remember it takes two people working together daily to make a relationship last. No matter how much one wants it to work, it is impossible for one to carry the whole relationship. Love is like a delicate plant. It can be killed so easily in the early stages. Give it just the right amount of good soil, water, sunshine, and fertilizer to make it grow into a strong love that will last a lifetime.
