..I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it…..
-I don’t want fries, I want a relationship!!
-Parfaits are delicious!
-The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
-I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
-American is a very difficult language mixed with English.
-The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
-Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
-A great many open minds should be closed for repairs.
-Ah! Don't say that you agree with me. When People agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
-I like children. Properly cooked.
-I hate alternate dimensions. They make for messy book keeping.
-You know the problem with nudist colonies? No quality control.
-You’re starting to grow on me, kid. Quit it.
-Wow! his heart is black! And what's stranger, it's covered with rainbow sprinkles!
-OOHHHH! Pretty lights! Wow! Look at that!
-Never leave a ferret to do a bunny’s job.
-Tiki gods RULE!
-OH CRAP! Jesus is coming! Everyone look busy!
-There are some who would say Ozzy Osbourne is grossly overexposed. There are others who are Amish.
-Shut up, I'm out of Aspirin!
-Wow, so that’s why they call you master of the obvious!
-If sophisticated humor "goes over your head", my humor "hits you in the shins".
-When you're normal, it's just one good rational thought after another. But when you snap, the sky's the limit!
-I don't need to be careful! I have a gun!
-EVIL DEMON BUNNY CLOWN BABY!!!!!
-I happem to ve prod pf my typos tank-you-vey-mush.
-Angry protester: Down with necklines!
-I think you are under-estimating my sneaky-sneakiness.
-DSOA: Don’t Spank Ogres Alone (I’ll think of a better one eventually)
-I don’t think you are grasping the sneakiness, sir.
-Women: can’t live with’em, can’t kill’em… *sigh*
-… and now with a news brief from Nifty News 50, here’s Quirky Walton…
-Oh great, the rabbits are reproducing again!
-At the rate you give people headaches; you should buy stock in Excedrin.
-The words Watoo-Owan-Koha will bring bad luck and premature death to all who read them.
-You regard free speech not as a right but as a never-ending obligation.
-Everything's better with monosodium glutamate!
-Success will never change you. You'll always be a bastard.
-They say you are a true miracle worker - if you work, it is a miracle.
-You are far from lazy. You put in a hard day's work... every week.
-Avoid large, heavy objects traveling at a high rate of speed.
-A friend in need will be out of your way soon.
-Yes, sir, I am very sneaky-sneaky.
-There is something to be said for sleep. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to say it.
-If life is just one big movie, who wrote the soundtrack?
- I've said it once, I'll say it again: 'Too many monkeys’.
- It’s a girl, Mrs. Walker, it’s a girl……
-“You must have had strict military training.” “nope. Pet bunny”
-Face to face with a creature that big, and you poke it in the eye?!?
-“You killed my fish!” “Why does that pickle you?”
-“Retreat!” BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! “retreat the other way!”
-I sense a great disturbance in the force. As if a significant plot-line cried out in terror... and was suddenly silenced.
-Hi! I'd like to order a large helpme pie with he's-got-a-gun and extra cheese! Please deliver as soon as possible!
-The name is ‘Perky.’
-Hey, are you saying I'm too stupid to be afraid?
-“How could you tell I wasn't really a masseuse?” “The hook-for-a-hand was my first clue.”
-I need attention from someone I don't care about to keep caring about those who don't care about me!
-You know, I never thought I would be so thrilled to be devoured by a hideous alien!
-I'm sick of democracy getting in the way of my plans!
-Deja vu!
-Veja du!
-How about we play a silly game of bullet tag?
-Well, my work here is done. If you need me again, just admit to yourself that you're screwed and die.
-My thesaurus only had ten variations of the word LOSER!
-You put your face back on this instant!
-Good god! Your floatie is HUGE!
-He showed up two hours late, I kicked him in the privates, I went home. It's actually the most fulfilling date we've had so far!
-You wore those clothes when you ruled a kingdom! And now you use it for a Halloween costume?!?
-Ah! I'm burning with goodness!
-Snipers taste like turkey and are easier to spot!
-Did you just see a drunken rabbit hop by with my bottle of 151-rum?
-I have smelt of this puddle of beer and am BUZZED, I tell you, BUZZED!
-This looks like a job for EMERGENCY PANTS!
-Before you kick my butt, just keep in mind that I am an overworked pseudo-postal-worker.
-"Oh!" God says, "A challenge!"
-Next week, on Keg Party Of Five…
-The bullets were just my way of saying "Keep it down, I've got a hangover"!
-The silence of death sounds so promising…
-If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
-If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
-If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
-If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
-What luck! A laser cannon!
-SAVE A LEG! nueter your dog
-You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later, you'll dance with the reaper.
-Go eat a bowl of beef, cuz it's just so freakin' good.
-“The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excaliber from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur! That is why I'm your King!”
-“Listen, strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government!”
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IN MEMORY OF THE WORLDS GREATEST BASSIST, JOHN ALEC ENTWISTLE
IN MEMORY OF THE WORLDS NIFTIEST DRUMMER, KEITH MOON
| You are 51% geek | You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other. |
