Felicia:
I woke up the next morning around 10am and just laid in bed for a while. Just thinking of stuff in general. I was glad that Nick and I were friends again. I needed him more than I thought I did. When he left the night before, I began to cry and couldn’t seem to stop. I cried myself to sleep and then was waken up by him, banging on my door. But we worked everything out and it felt good to have him as my friend again. Now if I can shake all those feelings that I have when he’s in the same room or when we hug away, it’ll be all good. But it didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon.
I was about to get up when I saw Nick come running up to the bed and he jumped on it.
"Wake up sleepy head!" He exclaimed.
"I’m up you dork. I’ve been up for like 5 minutes." I teased, laughing.
"Oh, sorry. I didn’t know."
"It’s ok. Wow, Carter is actually up before noon. I don’t believe it!"
"Shut up, Roberts! I don’t sleep ‘til noon everyday."
"Yeah, sure whatever."
"Hey, I don’t."
"I believe ya, Nick."
"Fine, don’t believe me, I don’t care." He crossed his arms and pouted. He looked like a 5-year-old and looked so adorable. I just laughed at him and got up.
"You are too funny, you know that right?" I messed with his hair.
"Yep, that’s why you love me."
"Sure." I laughed again.
"You suck, Felicia."
"I know. Well, I’m gonna take a shower. You can watch your cartoons."
"YAY!" I just laughed, shook my head and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I got into the shower and about 20 minutes later I finished got out and got dressed. I put on my dark blue flare jeans, and a white, stretch tank top. I towel dried my hair, then brushed it and put it half up. I put some make up on and body spray. I was finished with all that and walked out of the bathroom. Nick was sprawled out on my bed, watching TV. I looked over at the TV and saw that he was watching Pokemon. He is one strange boy. I laughed a little, which took his attention off the TV and on me.
"Damn, could you have taken any longer?"
"What? I’m a girl, what do you expect?"
"Well, if a guy took that long you’d worry."
"Exactly. Girls are supposed to take forever in the bathroom. Didn’t your mother teach you anything?"
"Obviously not." He laughed.
"Yeah, I agree on that one, since you’re watching Pokemon."
"Hey, this is a really good cartoon."
"Yeah whatever you say."
"It is."
"Mmhmm." I tried hiding my laughter but wasn’t having much luck.
"You think that’s funny?" I nodded in response. "Ok, I’ll give you something to laugh about"
Before I knew it, I was running around the room, trying to get away from him, so he wouldn’t tickle me. I climbed on the bed and tried to crawl away, but got stuck in the sheets and fell over. He jumped on the bed and began to tickle me.
"Nick...st...stop! I...can’t...breathe.." I said through fits of laughter, but he didn’t stop.
"Ok, mercy! I take whatever I said back!" I surrendered and he stopped. He sat up and I just laid there, trying to catch my breath.
"You better not say anything about Pokemon again or you’ll be tickled to death."
"Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ve learned my lesson."
"Good. I gotta go pee." He got up, ran to the bathroom, closing the door. I just laughed and sat up. I turned the TV off and turned the radio on. The song ‘Hanging by a moment’ by Lifehouse was playing. Nick came out just as I turned the radio on.
"Hey why’d you turn Pokemon off?"
"It was over, so I decided to listen to the radio."
"Oh, ok. So, you wanna do something today?"
"Yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?"
"Basketball, the beach, the mall, hang with the others."
"Hmm....oh I have an idea. Why don’t all of us go putt putt golfing? That’ll be fun."
"Sounds like a good idea to me. Let me call the others and see if they can."
"Alrighty."
He called everyone to see if they wanted to go and they did.
I got my purse and we left the hotel and went to his place so he could get ready. An hour later he finished getting ready and we went to the putt putt place. AJ and Dani were already there when we arrived. Just as I got out of the car, Dani ran over to me, screaming.
"Felicia! Oh my god, you’re back and you look great!" She exclaimed, and I laughed.
"Thanks; you look great too, Dani. How have ya been?"
"Great, having the time of me life with AJ."
"That’s great. I’m happy for you."
"Thanx. So, how was New York?"
"Not for me. I mean, it was cool and all that, but I’m a Florida girl."
"Well, it’s great to have you back."
"It’s great to be back. I missed you all."
"We’ve missed you too, especially that blonde boy over there." She said, pointing to Nick who was talking to AJ.
"I believe it."
"Oh, and you’re gonna freak!"
"What?"
"Nick has a new girlfriend! Did he tell you?"
Absolute, total complete shocker! Did he just some how forget to mention that last night?!
"He does? That’s great. He didn’t tell me yet."
"Well, I’m sure he will. She’s a sweetie and has blonde hair, tall, skinny. He name is Kayla."
"Cool, can’t wait to meet her."
"They only started going out a month ago."
"That’s nice to know."
"Hey you two, enough chatting. Let’s go in." AJ told us.
"But everyone isn’t here yet." Dani protested, and I laughed.
"Well, there they are. C’mon." Nick began to walk in when I heard people calling my name. I turned around and saw 4 people running towards me and noticed that it was Brian, Howie, Amanda, and Laura. Amanda and Laura got to me first, and they engulfed me into a hug. Almost knocking me over.
"Holy shit, you two. Don’t kill her." Nick laughed.
"It’s great to see you two, too." I said.
"Why didn’t you tell us you were here?" Amanda asked.
"Because I only just got here yesterday."
"Oh, well it’s great to have you back." Laura said.
"It’s great to be back." They both let me go.
"Hey Felicia. I see you’re back." I heard Brian say.
"Hey Brian, yep I’m back. It’s great to see you." I hugged him.
"Same, you look good. New York did good to you."
"I guess, but it wasn’t for me. That’s why I’m back."
"Well, we’re glad to have you back."
"Me too. Well, hey Howie. It’s good to see you too." I hugged Howie next.
"You too. It’s great that you’re back."
"Yeah, it is."
"Ok, ok, enough hugs and shit. Let’s go play!" Nick whined.
"Fine Mr. Impatient! We’ll go play!" I replied and walked inside, the rest of them following me.
We paid for the game and got our clubs and balls. We went outside and began to play.
"I warn you, I seriously suck at this game." I told them.
"Oh, c’mon. You can’t be that bad." Nick said.
"Believe me, I can be. And plus I haven’t played in forever."
"We’ll see."
"Just start the game already." Brian whined.
Amanda went first, then Brian, AJ, Dani, Laura, Howie, Nick and I was last, but I wanted to be. It took me like 6 times to get it in the hole and it didn’t even count.
We went to the next hole and AJ, Brian, Nick, Dani, and Howie all got holes in one. Amanda and Laura got holes in two and I got 6 again. I wanted to quit, but Nick wouldn’t let me.
"I told you that I suck and would you believe me? No." I pouted.
"You gotta try harder, Felicia." AJ said.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
We continued to play and finished the game and I was in last place. Go figure. Doesn’t matter, it was still fun. We put all the clubs away and went outside.
"Hey, why don’t we got to Tabu for some dancing and drinks?" AJ suggested.
"That’s fine with me." I said, and everyone else agreed.
"We’ll all meet there. Let’s go." Brian said.
Everyone got into their cars and I went into Nick’s and we headed to Howie’s club, Tabu.
"So Nick, Dani tells me that you have a girlfriend. Why didn’t you tell me?"
"Because we broke up. We were more friends than anything. Plus she still loved her ex, and I knew I was ready for a relationship."
"Oh, well I was just curious. I’m sorry it didn’t work out."
"It’s ok. Kayla and I are friends and we’re cool. So, don’t be sorry. What about you? Any boyfriends while you were in New York?"
He had to ask. Alright, fine. I wasn’t totally honest with him last night, but you know it’s hard. And I’m trying to get over what happened and it was working pretty well. But now, I don’t think I can keep it locked in anymore.
"Felicia? Hello? You still with me?" Nick shook me a little, brining me back to reality.
"Huh? Oh, yeah I’m still here."
"Ok. So, any guys?"
"No, not really. I was pretty busy with work." I lied, which I hated but I just wasn’t ready to tell anyone anything that happened in New York yet. Not even Nick, my best friend.
"Oh ok. Well, you’ll start dating soon, don’t worry. AJ and I will help you."
I laughed.
"Boy, that just brings me so much excitement. Can’t wait to get started."
"Hey we can look tonight."
"Thanks, but no thanks." I laughed at him again, shaking my head. I knew I had to tell him, and soon. Or it would ruin things.
"Ok, fine. Maybe later."
"Yeah, later."
I turned the radio on and up. Janet Jackson’s ‘All for U’ was playing and I just wanted to jam to it.
We arrived at Tabu in an hour, Nick drove fast. So did everyone else. We went inside and went to the private area of the club. We sat down at a table for 8 and waited for someone to come wait on us.
"So, Felicia, where are you staying?" Amanda asked.
"At the Double Tree on I275. It’s only temporary ‘til I find an apartment."
"Oh, cool. Why don’t you stay with one of us? I mean, so you won’t have to pay for a hotel room every night?" Howie asked.
"Maybe, I’ll think about it."
"Hey, you can stay with me. You know, like you did before you went to New York." Nick offered.
"If you really want me to."
"Of course I really want you to You’re my best girl friend. So what d’ya say?"
"Alright, I’ll stay with you ‘til I get an apartment."
"YAY! We’re gonna party!"
I just laughed at him.
A waiter came and took our orders. The music started and people started dancing. The song ‘Around the world’ by ATC was playing.
"Dude, this is so old."
"Yeah well then I’ll fire the DJ" Howie said, laughing.
"No, I wasn’t being serious. Don’t do that."
"Felicia, calm down. I was kidding." Howie replied.
"Oh, ok. Good." I laughed with him.
The waiter came back with our drinks. I drank my drink and talked with everyone. We were there for about an hour and I had about 5 drinks. Since Nick was driving back, he only had one drink and coke the rest of the night. I was beginning to get all hyper and crazy.
"Hey Nicky, you wanna dance with me?"
"Sure."
We got up and went out to the dance floor. The song ‘Sandstorm’ by Darude was playing and I was just dancing like crazy.
"Um, Felicia let’s go sit down. I’m getting tired."
"But Nicky, don’t you wanna dance with me?"
"Not right now."
"Why? Do you not like me anymore?" I pouted
"Of course I do. It’s getting late and I have to do a bunch of shit tomorrow. So let’s go."
"But can’t we finish this song?"
"Fine."
We continued to dance and then the song ended. We went back to the table. Nick was saying something to the others but I couldn’t hear him over the music. I grabbed my drink and gulped it down.
"C’mon Felicia. We’re going back."
"Why?"
"Because it’s late and you’re pretty drunk."
"You suck, Nick." I slurred my words.
"Thanks Felicia. I love you too."
He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the door, and walked out to his car. He helped me into the passenger seat and closed the door. He got in on the drivers side and started the car.
"I’m not very pretty when I’m drunk."
"Yeah, I figured."
"What’s that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, just drop it."
He turned the radio on and drove back to Tampa in silence. I was beginning to talk about shit.
"Nick, I love you. Seriously, I do."
"Felicia, just don’t talk. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re drunk."
"Don’t tell me what I feel. That’s why I came back."
"Shut up, Felicia!"
That shut me up. Did he hate me? Did he know I was lying? Thoughts were running through my head, which made it hurt worse than it was. The rest of the ride was silent. We got to Tampa and he went to his house.
"Why are we here?"
"Because you’re drunk and I don’t want you to be alone."
"Wow, I didn’t know you cared."
"I do, more than you know."
I didn’t respond to that, just because I knew I had to tell him. I got out of his car, well more like fell out of his car and walked towards to back, to the beach.
"Felicia, where are you going?"
"I need fresh air." I continued to walk. I got to the edge of the water and sat down and for some reason I started to cry. I felt Nick sit next to me.
"Felicia, what’s wrong?"
"I lied to you, Nick."
"What about?"
"New York."
"Ok, I’m confused."
"You see a few months back I was dating this guy, Tom. He was sweet, caring, your perfect guy."
"I thought you didn’t date anyone up there."
"I lied."
"But why?"
"Because I’m stupid. I thought that if I didn’t tell anyone what happened, it’d go away. Nick, I was...I...I was raped." I just let the tears flow, and started rocking back and forth.
"What?! Why didn’t you tell me?"
"Because I wanted it to go away. I wanted it to be ok. You don’t have a clue what I’ve been through the past year."
"But I’d like to know, Felicia. I want to help you."
"Tom wanted sex, but I didn’t. He kept pushing, but I’d always tell him no. But one day when I wasn’t looking, he came up from behind me and raped me. I tried to fight him, but he tied my hands and feet and kept hitting me. I was found the next day and I had to stay in the hospital for 3 months. After I got home, my mom started to bug me again. She wouldn’t listen to me and just wouldn’t leave me alone. So, I disconnected myself away from her and the rest of the world. Then one day, I woke up from whatever depression I was in and decided to get my life back together. But here I am, drunk off my ass. Shows you how well I got my life back together."
I began to cry harder. Nick engulfed me into a hug and I cried on his chest.
"Shush, it’s ok." He whispered.
"I thought that maybe it would be ok. That it would all just be ok. But no one showed me or told me that it was going to be ok. No one was there to help. No one cared. Not even my own mother or father. They never gave a damn about me, never! And you know what hurts the most? Is the fact that they love and care more about my brother. That just rips my heart out. It hurts so much." I cried more and Nick just held me. I didn’t say anything else, just cried.
It was 4:30 when we went inside. I went over to the couch, laid down and passed out.
The next morning I woke up with a killer headache. I sat up on the couch and watched as the room started to spin. I heard a door open from upstairs and saw Nick come downstairs.
"God, I have the worst headache and the room won’t stop spinning." I put my hands on the temples of my forehead.
"Yeah, that’s from all that drinking you did last night."
"Ugh! I feel like shit. Never let me drink like that again, ok?’
"Ok."
"Did I do anything stupid last night?"
The room was beginning to stop spinning and I looked at Nick and he had a strange expression on his face. But he didn’t say anything. Just looked at me.
"What? I did do something, didn’t I?"
"No, nothing." He walked towards the kitchen. I slowly got up and followed him.
"I know I did something Nick, so tell me please. Don’t give me that bullshit.
"I’m just surprised you don’t remember telling me." Was the response I got. I tried to think back to last night, but it was vague.
"I can’t believe you’re being so stubborn and won’t tell me what I did or what I said."
"Well, if it was true or mattered to you, then you’ll remember."
"Why do you have to be so complicated?"
"Because I’m not sure what you told me last night was true or not."
"Oh my god, not this again! You don’t believe me again. What did I ever do to you that you couldn’t believe me?! My god, you’re screwed in the head, Nick. Sorry if I don’t remember this minute. I guess I’m not that important to you. Goodbye Nick." I went back to the living room, got my shoes on and went out the front door. I started walking down the street; not sure where I was going, but I knew I had to get away from him.
I got down to an intersection when I heard Nick calling my name. I ignored him and continued to walk.
"Felicia, would you stop?!" He yelled. He caught up to me, got in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me.
"What do you want, Nick? To let me know how much you don’t trust me again?"
"No, I don’t want to do that. I want to apologize for being a jackass, and for being stubborn."
"What did I do to you to make you hate me?"
"I don’t hate you, Felicia. I could never hate you. I was just shocked that you didn’t remember. But I realize that you were pretty drunk and you’ll remember and that I should have told you."
"Yeah, you should. What did I say or do?"
"You told me about New York and what really happened."
"Oh." I turned around, as I let the tears fall. I just realized that I had told him. I felt so dirty and especially now, since he knew. I don’t know why though.
"Felicia, you don’t have to be afraid. I’m here for you, always."
"I know." He hugged me.
"Let’s go back inside and get some rest."
I shook my head up and down in agreement and we went back to his house....
