What I thought could never happen finally has. The love of my life, Mr. Garth Brooks, has decided to divorce his skank of a wife. After 14 years, 3 children, and 1 publicized record of adultery he's throwing in the towel. Hopefully he'll seek a vacation from the press by visiting a small town in Florida [namely Okeechobee, which is where I happen to live ;)] and fall madly in love with yours truly. Here's the article from the Palm Beach Post which gave me the proof:

Garth Brooks, wife plan to divorce

Country superstar Garth Brooks and his wife have agreed to a divorce, a spokeswoman at his record company confirmed over the weekend. The acknowledgement came after Brooks told Billboard magazine that he regrets his failed marriage but believes he is closer than ever to his children. Garth and Sandy Brooks (*cough*skank*cough*) have been married for 14 years and have three children, ages 8, 6, and 4. "Right now," Brooks said "we're focused on the impact it will have on the children and how to handle that best, to remain parents even if we don't remain husband and wife." He said recent difficulties, including his mother's death and his first break in touring in 11 years, have taken a toll. "But the trade that I made is that I am an infinite number of times closer to my children than I've been the entire seven years of their lives before (this year off). And I can't help but think when I lie down at night and say my prayers that that, in itself,...is worth the trade I've made to get here." Brooks has sold 97 million albums, making him country music's best-selling artist.

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That's so heart wrenching.(*sniff*)Feel better, Garth. You know she was sleeping around while you were on the road. Come to me, my love!

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"Finally, that skank is out of my life!"

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Screw Country Music, I Want More *NSYNC!