The snow had barely melted on the streets of new york city, as I walked down the sidewalk. i knew i was near what used to be the tall building that fell a few years ago. i think i was asleep when it happened. i didn't know about it until half way through the day...I should have been there. now i am haunted by things i never truely saw.

I can hear screams..i can smell the burning..i can smell...death. sometimes i feel i may have a connection from that day.. maybe because half of me died in there that day? i don't know. on this bright sunny winter day....someone tell me how i can get the screams and smells to vanish!!!

I'm here...at this lot that once was. i can see the many ghosts from yesterday.. it's not hard, all you have to do is concentrate.. then you can hear the talking.. the screaming...the crying. you can also hear the questions of why....why did this happen?? i can't answer their questions.. all i know is it was done out of hate..

I hold a piece of the building in my hand.. it broke the glass on my home that day...it's the first thing i saw when i woke up, a broken window. i'm torn...should i leave it here...or should i bring it home. would the nightmares subside....i doubt it.

i don't cry anymore.. it's not that i am numb to the fact that america has been hurt. it's just that i can't afford to.. someone has to be strong for us.

i shove my hands in my deep pockets, and sigh.. i was supposed to be to work early that day and overslept. how did it happen that so many of us were sidelined with something else...was it not our time to leave this earth??

why do i torture myself by coming to this place. really though, if not here at the scene, it will always be in my thoughts. in my thoughts every day fresh.. some say to get over it.. but if they lived it...truely lived it..then they would understand how many of us feel......lost.