Anger |
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Who are you to force from me this pain? Why is it you think you can control me My life My thoughts My sanity For a mere feeling? You do not own me, I am of God, Yet you take control of my thoughts Send my feelings into frenzy And change my entire life. You have no right to do this. You only wound me when you try to understand. You can't. You find it so easy to live your life with her. And to abandon me in the trenches of your soul Where I am forced to witness your progression away from me. If only what I felt for you was so simple; My loyalty so easily conquered. I have survived through storms greater than your worst nightmare Lived among darkness and death And cried torrents of tears over uncountable agonies. How dare you think you can enter me now And rip me to shreds as you endulge your own desires. You feel only what you want to And only when you want to. But I cannot change how I feel And the love I hold for you only provides a foothold For the destruction your "love" brings. Do you tire of my anger? I don't care. You forced this on me and you had no right. If only letting go of you Were not worse than living with the pain I would throw you from my soul And make you feel even a drop of the blood my heart sheds. I can not release you now. You have entered and grown in me like a cancer And you will destroy me. You waste your time Fearing I will see you as perfect Fearing you will be like "all the others". Why do you not fear destroying me Losing me in your own selfish needs Forever. You think miles will drive us apart But the length of no ocean can compare To the terror you have inflicted into me. You are so ignorant to the curse of love Because you try to "move past" me And place me in the catacombs of your soul. But it can never truly fade And it can never transform into memory And denial will only bring it closer And make it deadlier. You cannot completely destroy me Because I am forced to feel. But you will rot your love with the walls you build And when they fall you will not withstand the attack. You brought down my walls When you made me trust and love you. And then you disrespected and stole my being. I don't want you to know me. You had no permission to try. And how dare you sleep content in your dreams of her When you have forced me to lie in tortured wakefulness And sleep in uncontrollable fits of sadness and terror. I would not love you if you were evil. You have abused and stolen what was sacred in me But I have taken captive of so much more of you than you realize. And I will never return it, because you cannot live without it.
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