This is the true story of five guys picked to live on a tourbus & have their lives taped to find out what happeneds when a pop band stops being nice and starts getting real. The Real World Tourbus.....
Nsync's tour bus has been traveling through the night. It is enroute from North Dakota to Wyoming. The sun begins to rise, the bus driver yawns. We see a shot of the bunk area, curtains close, light snoring. Suddenly a loud fart awakens Lance....
LANCE: Aww Joey, c'mon man!
JOEY:
(slightly awake) Sorry, I had some pork rinds last night before bed, I guess they didn't agree with me
LANCE:
Just as long as it doesnt't ssmme-aw that stinks dude!
JOEY:
Hey I said sorry awrite, what do you want?
LANCE:
how about a colon cleansing for your birthday?
CHRIS:
( a head full of dreads peaks out of the curtain)
What's the ruckus? Please don't wake Justin up!
JOEY:
I'll wake up who I please dread boy! (loudly farts again)
CHRIS & LANCE:
Eww Gross Man!!
JOEY:
Oh! like I'm the only on that farts right? (mumbles) losers.
JC:
Good Morning everyone wassup? Ew, What's that smell?
JOEY:
Drop it already.
JC:
Ok no need to get hostile, we don't want to wake up Justin.
(just then the curtain to Justin's bunk swings open, everyone quickly sticks their heads back down under the covers. Justin says nothing, he gets up and goes to the kitchen area and fixrs himself a bowl of Apple Jacks, Joey sticks his head out.)
JOEY:
Can I have some.
JUSTIN:(silence)
CHRIS:
Don't push it Joe, let him finish erright.
(five minutes later Justin is finishing up)
JUSTIN:
Here Joey, you can drink the milk (hands Joey the bowl)
JOEY:
Cool (grabs bowl and takes a sip) Hey have you ever notice that htis don't taste like apples or jacks?
CHRIS:
Somebody hold me back or I'll hurt him, I swear I'll do it!
JOEY
What? (burps)
JC:
So, how did everyone sleep?
LANCE:
Like a baby until Joey.....
JOEY:
Oh shut up lancey boy.
LANCE:
I'm tired of this, this, this (voice trails off)
CHRIS:
Shit huh, Lance? if that what you're tryna say buddy?
JOEY:
Ooh I'm scared fancey lancey is gonna get me someone help!
JUSTIN:
Yo Joey, why don't you shut your punkass up yo?
JC:
Finally a voice of reasoning can't we all just get along?
( A shot of the bus careening down the highway, in the video confessional behind the bunk area Joey Settles in).
JC:
Um hi camera I just wanted to say that the busmates always blame me foe everything. Like missing food, dirt laundry, groupies. I mean I am 21 years old and I should be able to do waht the hell I want! I know.... I will call a meeting to discuss my feelings with the other guys.
( A meeting is called and all the busmates meet in teh living room area.)
JC:
Ok this meeting was called so we can straighten out some of our differences and hopefully get along better.
JUSTIN:
Wassup wit dat ya'll.
CHRIS:
Can I say something?
(JC nods)
CHRIS:
You guys are just like you guys and we're friends and like we're friends.
LANCE:
Thanx for clearing that up Chris, cuz I was confused up until now (rolls eyes)
CHRIS:
No problem man anytime, I would also like to say that you can be a nobody one day a big star the next day and a nobody the day after that.
JUSTIN:
Tru dat dawg.
JC:
As odd as that sounded, Chris is right, we were all cool with each other and we're like brothers, if all this ends tomorrow I want the assurance that we will remain croonies.
JUSTIN:
(perplexed) What da dilly yo?
LANCE:
Let me help you out Jus, Jc said that we gonna be cool like dat even if we stop singin fo da hunnies.
JC:
right, right, I hear dat yo, ya'lls my boys!
JOEY:
Look I called this meeting because I am not gettin the respect I deserve. You guys are always dissin me. Justin can't even speak english and yous value his opinion more than mine!
CHRIS:
Well he IS the most popular in the group.
JC:
Yes, and I suppose the word "yous" is proper english.
LANCE:
Ok Joey, point taken. But sometimes you bring it upon yourself. For example, missing food, dirty laundry, and let's not even talk about the groupies.
JC:
Can we come to some agreement?
JOEY:
(shouting) IT'S MY MEETING, WHY CAN'T I TALK? (folds arms like a three years old)
JC:
(shouting back as vein on forehead pops out) BECAUSE I'M THE SANITY IN THIS GROUP!
(Joey shrinks back down in his seat)
JUSTIN:
Yeah boy, you betta recognize!
JC:
If Joey limits his food intake, properly disposes of unlaundered material and fornicates every other third Tuesday it would be beneficial to all the busmates. All those who agree say I!!
CHRIS:
I
LANCE:
I
JOEY:
Me
JUSTIN:
Wha?
JC:
Oh sorry Justin, Lance Please.
LANCE:
Oh, kay what JC said was we cool aight?
JUSTIN:
Oh I can Get down wit dat on the real.
JC:
Once again all those who agree say I
CHRIS:
I
LANCE:
I
JOEY:
I
JUSTIN:
YO
(they all turn to look at Justin)
JC:
Good Enough yo means I in spanish Meeting adjourned
(the bus pulling into a rest stop).
The bus pulls into a rest stop and Justin rushes off with a basketball in his hand. The others aren't too far behind. They casually stoll over to the building. The bus drives over to fill up on gas. Justin is bouncing his vall in the lot. Joey heads for the Burger King Express. Lance goes to the arcade area and JC and Chris go to the gift shop. A teenage girl walks past JC and accidentally bumps his arm. Chris keeps walking.
JC:
Excuse me miss.
GIRL:
No problem just watch where you're going.
JC:
Um, you bumped into me, I merely being polite by saying....
GIRL: (cutting him off) OH MY GOODNESS do you know who you are?
JC:
(smiles proudly) Yeah I've met myself a Few times.
GIRL:
I feel soo stupid, i totally ove your music! My favorite song is that slow one um, " I'll Never Break Your Heart".
JC:
(sharply) We don't sing that song, now if you'll excuse me.
(he turns to walk but the girl grabs his arm)
GIRL:
Sure you don't sing that song (winks), can you give this to Nick for me?
(She hands him a tiny stuffed bunny)
JC:
Well I'll don't know when I'll see him but I'll try my vest to see that he get's it.
GIRL:
Thank you soooooo much (walks away)
JC:
(to himself) That was weird.
The camera shows him leaving the gift shop and entering the bathroom then zooms in on Chris.
CHRIS: (looking at the camera) Where's JC? The Bathroom? Ok Thanks camera.
Chris also walks towards the bathroom. Another camera shows Justin outside dribblin when Lance runs up and steals the ball away.
JUSTIN:
Hey whattchu doin
LANCE:
I'mma 'bout to school you son!
JUSTIN:
(laughing and pointing at Lance) You crazy boy? I'm da baller 'round here and you da, da, da, whattchu do again?
LANCE:
Don't sweat da dawg, I'm da new baller 'round here. ( dribbles around Justin)
JUSTIN:
Don't get mad when i take the ball away sucka hahahahaha.
Justin charges at lance, Lance fakes right, then left and Justin tries to grab the ball away instead trips over his own feet and falls to the ground skinning his knee. The camera shifts to Lance.
LANCE: (extending his hand to Justin)Yo I'm sorry man.
JUSTIN: ( slaps hand away) Leave me alone, just get away.
LANCE:
Aw C'mon don't get mad dude we was just playin.
JUSTIN:
You see those cameras? huh? you know wassup, Im da best baller, you supposed to make me look like good at all times.
LANCE:
I know but I couldn't resist. (turns to camera) Why don't you guys just edit that part.
JUSTIN: ( screaming) WAIT TILL I GET UP YO, IMMA BUST YOU UP.
Lance runs frantically away and Justin follows close behind. The first camea inside the building shows JC, Chris and Joey eating at Burger King Express.
JOEY:
Hey guys how do they get the onion inside the rings?
CHRIS:
I know this one...oh yeah, they have this machine that gros the onion and then they insert them inside the ring. After they are shipped all over the world for all lil boys and lil girls to enjoy.
JC:
If you believe that one I have an ocean in Iowa I'd like to sell ya.
JOEY:
How Much?
Chris and JC look at each other and shrugs.
JC:
Where are Justin and Lance? They had better get a square meal before we hit the road again.
CHRIS:
I didn't see them.
JC:
Oh well. I guess "Big Daddy" has to go gather them again, as usual.
JC gets up from the table and places the stuffed animal down. Joey and Chris keep munching on their food. Joey picks up JC's tray.
JOEY:
Hey Chris you think he's gonna finish this?
CHRIS:
I don't know dude, why don't you leave it just in case.
JOEY:
But it'll get cold by the time he gets back, 'sides he can order more.
Joey picks up the stuffed bunny, smells it and stuffs it in his mouth, Chris' jaw drops to the table.
CHRIS:
Joe what the fuck did you just do man?
JOEY:
This taste weird, whaddya mean?
CHRIS:
I can't believe it, you just ate a stuffed animal. a friggin stuffed animal dude!
JOEY:
Really, well it's my belly now.
CHRIS:
Wait til you poop that thing out, there's no way you can digest it!
JOEY:
I didn't think about that.
JC returns with Justin and Lance. Lance looks visibly shaken and they both are sweaty.
LANCE:
I'm gonna get something to eat.
JUSTIN:
Grab me somethin'
LANCE:
Get it yourself.
JUSTIN:
I'ma wait til you get back punk.
LANCE:
I got your punk right here (grabs his crotch)
JC:
Why Lance, what would Jesus do? I'm sure he wouldn't do that.
LANCE:
I apologize to everyone 'cept Justin. (walks away)
JUSTIN:
Whateva, Joey go get me some grub please?
JOEY:
Yeah sure ( Joey gets up and follows LAnce to the counter)
JC:
What is going on between you two.
JUSTIN:
Nuttin yo.
CHRIS:
Lance has been acting mighty fiesty lately.
JUSTIN:
There ain't nuttin' wrong aight?
JC:
Well if you say so, hey where's that little stuffed animal.
Chris looks away and a small smile comes over his face.
JC:
That wasn't mine it was for Nick.
CHRIS:
Who?
JC:
Give it back now, or heads will role.
CHRIS:
I have no idea what you're talking about (laughing evilly to himself)
Meanwhile Joey is still at the food counter, Lance has taken his Big King Meal to go and heads back to the tour bus, Joey looks over and sees JC searching the table. Joey turns to the camera.
JOEY:
JC is gonna be pretty mad when he finds out that I ate his little stuffed animal. Hey it smelled like candy. (burps)
Back on the bus in the video confessional Lance is eating a french fry.
LANCE: (speaks to the camera) I've been in the background for far too long. They all have those high voices, whipdeedoo. I am unique, I am the bass! I should be tha man! I need solos. Once I get my chance Justin'll be singing backup, no hel'll be a back up dancer. You just wait.
Fades away
CHRIS: I don't feel so good.
JC: Just handle it professionally.
LANCE (excitedly): Don't worry Chris, Justin can sing your parts and I'll do his.
JC: That's pure nonsense Lance, you'll be fine Chris, Just take some Maalox.
LANCE: Whatever you say JC.
LANCE: Tune in next time on The REAL WORLD.
Chris: TOUUUURBUS!
This story was written by Madgirl who has another nsync humor webpage. She hadn't updated it in a while so the first five segments of this fanfic is credited to her. Since she never continued and I found it funny. I've decided that I'll just continue with the story, it's really a great one so why end it right.
JUSTIN: On the Next Real World.
Real World Tourbus Continues....