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~"Most people have only heard of angels...I held one in my arms."~author unknown

"I'm Free"

Don't grief for me,
For now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard Him call.
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
then fill it with remembered joy;
a friendship shared, a lugh, a kiss,
all things I, too, will miss.
Be not burdened in time of sorrow.
I wish for you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savored much.
good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seems all too brief.
Don't spend your life on undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
God wanted me now
He set me FREE.

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irst of all I need to tell you that, this is NOT the first webpage I created for Patrick. For some unknown reason, the first page I created was completely deleted. I don't know how but I sure can tell you why.
Believe this or not, but there were words on the first page I created, that would have touched your hearts for Jesus. I make no apology for that. My husband Patrick knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, where he was headed when he died. He knew that the God that created the Heavens would be there to greet him with outstretched arms.
If you don't know Jesus Christ, maybe you'll find Him here. If you do know Jesus, then Praise God!
The purpose of this webpage is to remember a man who my family and I loved very much. Someone who will never completely leave our hearts ever. We know that we will all be together again. My family and I wanted to share our thoughts, our memories, and maybe even a few tears with you. We want people to know who Patrick was as a man, a husband, a father and a friend. I pray that you will come to know Jesus on these pages, come to know Patrick, even tho, you may not have ever met him personally. Patrick changed many lives while he was with us, I pray that through these pages, you too, will be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

n January 1, 2001, my family and I lost someone so very precious to us. For me, I lost my husband, Patrick. For my four children, they lost "Daddy." Being believers in Jesus, didn't make the pain any easier, but because we know where he is now, we can rejoice in knowing we will all be together with Patrick again.
As strong as I tried to be for my children, there were times that they became my strength. In the first weeks after our loss, we couldn't seem to stop crying or hugging each other for long. Family and friends gathered around us, trying desperately to shield us from the pain we were suffering, but to no avail. Grieving is never easy.
Our son who is nine years old, held himself together well. Never shedding tears during the first few hours. Then evening came and he realized that Daddy wasn't going to walk thru the door with his famous, "Hi Family! Daddy's home!" saying. Our son broke down in terrific sobs.
As my son and I laid together, he said, "Mommmy, I'd give my Nintendo, my Playstation and my tv up, just to have one of daddy's hugs." I hugged him and we cried together.
Our daughter who is eleven came to me and said, "Mommy, daddy always used to ask me 'How's my baby girl?' Who's going to ask me now?" I looked our daughter in the eyes, and answered, "How's Daddy's Baby Girl doing?"
She smiled thru her tears and answered, "Mom, Daddy's baby girl isn't doing too well." I hugged her and we cried together.
Our other daughter who is fifteen took daddy's passing very hard. Patrick was so close to all our children. He had no problem playing taxi on the weekends, even tho, his job required him to drive 60-80 a week. He never hesitated to sit with any of the kids when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Our fifteen year old shed tears over, not just a father, but one of her best friends. Being a teenager has it's tough times. Teenagers tend to live in the moment and say things that they don't mean. Unfortunately, our fifteen year old daughter had said to a friend, not a week before Patrick's death, "My dad got me so mad last night, sometimes I just wish he'd die."
It took quite some doing to explain to her that God doesn't honor those kinds of requests. If He did, we wouldn't have any enemies, with one phrase we could wipe them all out!
Our eighteen year old daughter, who doesn't live at home, met the rest of the family at the hospital. She cried buckets of tears and didn't really have much to say. I believe she was feeling that there were so many things that had been left unsaid between the two of them. Things that could only be spoken thru The Father now.

here aren't words to express how deeply we are grieving. How much we miss a man who only entered our lives six years ago. I know you are all wondering about my math right now. Let me explain a little. You see, Patrick, wasn't their biological father. But he married a woman that had four children from a previous marriage and loved them as if they were his. In return, they loved him just as much. For my children, there will never be another man in their lives they will call "Daddy" and mean it with all their hearts. I, will never find another man who will love my children as much as I do. He might not have been the one to create these children with me, but he was their "Daddy" in every other sense of the word.

want to tell you about something that helped me tremendously, during this difficult time. I received a book in the mail the day after my husband passed away. I have no idea where the book came from, but it must have been God. There's no other explanation for it.
s I sat on Tuesday, January 2nd, I got the thought to go and check my mailbox. I pulled a plain wrapped package from the box, wondering briefly, what it could be. Once, I was back inside the house, I opened the package and there was a book entitled, "One Minute After You Die." by Erwin W. Lutzer.
I have to tell you that the thought of it being some kind of sick joke, never entered my mind. I was so curious about what the book had to say, and I was looking for some comfort to ease the heartwrenching pain I was feeling.

here are so many things people question when a loved one dies, that it isn't unusual to search for the answers, as a way of healing and being able to go on. Some people even go as far as to, try and contact their loved one through people claiming," they can communicate with the deceased."
I have NEVER believed in that kind of thing. But the Bible even talks about it. In Deuteronomy 18:11-12, God says,"Let there not be anyone who casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritualist that contacts the dead among you. Anyone who does these things is destable to the Lord, and because of these detestable practices, the Lord your God will drive out the nations before you."
eople do not understand that there are demons who can impersonate the dead to create an illusion that the living can communicate with the dead. These spirits have astonishing knowledge of the dead person's life since they carefully observe individuals while they are living. Through the power of deception, they can mimic the deceased person's voice, personality, and even appearance.
I'm sure you might be thinking, "We have a real fruitcake writing this webpage!" But if you read the Bible and study it, you will see that this is all truth from God's mouth to our ears. To try and contact the dead is to invite fellowship with hosts of darkness pretending to be helpful angels of light. Isaiah the prophet warned the people that to consult a medium is to turn one's back on God.
Look, you think what you want, no matter how many enemies I might have, I definitely don't want God as one! That's the One I wouldn't want to piss off!! (Excuse my frankness) Maybe, I can explain it better this way.

lmost a week to the day of my husband's passing, I awoke in the morning and opened my bedroom door only to find rose petals on the floor outside my bedroom door. I didn't think too much about it then, but I picked up the rose petals and threw them in the trash.
The following morning, again, there were rose petals outside my bedroom door. I questioned my kids and they all swore they had nothing to do with it. I knew there was no logical explanation as to where the rose petals came from, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. The following weekend, I annointed every doorway with oil, praying as I did so.
"Lord, I ask you to bless this house and the people who live here. I ask you to bless the people as they enter and as they leave. I command any spirits which are not Godly to leave this place immediately, and to never return! I ask this in Jesus name, Amen."
There were no more rose petals. My children who had on occasion said to me, "Mom, I thought I heard Daddy's voice." or " Mom, I felt like someone was just standing next to me." That all disappeared. Praise God!

lease let me continue to share with you my search for the answers to my many questions.
The following are excerpts from the above mentioned book. I hope whoever you are and wherever you are, you can find comfort and peace in the words that you are about to read.

hink how powerless death actually is! Rather than rid us of our wealth, it introduces us to "riches eternal." In exchange for poor health, death gives us the right to the tree of life that is for "the healing of the nations." (Revelation 22:2). Death might temporarily take our friends from us, but only to introduce us to that land in which there are no goodbyes. Similarly, death is the means by which our bodies are put to rest while our spirits are escorted through the gates of Heaven.
Now, my belief, if you don't mind me tossing it in here, is that, when a loved one dies, his spirit ascends directly to Heaven. Our loved one is not lying in a grave somewhere, twiddling his thumbs, waiting on God to call him home. No, I didn't find that in scripture, but that is my belief. Neither is it fearful for us to make our final exodus, for we are following our leader, who has gone on ahead. When the curtain parts, we shall not only find Him on the other side but discover that He is the One who lead us to the curtain in the first place. We should be content with the fact that though he died and was buried by God, he was not unconscious, but able to converse with Christ. (see Acts 7:59)

A Collapsing Tent

aul spoke of death as the dismantling of a tent. "For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens." (2 Corinthians 5:1)
Our present body is like a tent where our spirit dwells; it is a temporary structure. Tents deteriorate in the face of changing weather and storms. If used regularly, they often need repairs. A tattered tent is a sign that we will soon have to move. Death takes us from the tent to a palace. It is changing our address from earth to heaven.
There's an old song that goes like this:

This world is not my home,
I'm just pass'n through.
My treasures are laid up
Somewhere beyond the blue

here is also the story of a little girl. Let me tell you about her.
When Corrie ten Boom was a girl, her first experience with death came after visiting the home of a neighbor who just died. When she thought of the fact that her parents would die someday, her father comforted her by asking, "When I go to Amsterdam, when do I give you your ticket?"
"Just before we get on the train."
"Exactly. Just so your heavenly Father will give you exactly what you need when we die--He'll give it to you exactly when you need it."
Dying grace does not mean that we will be free from sorrow, whether at our own impending death or the death of someone we love. Some Christians have mistakenly thought that grief demonstrates a lack of faith. Thus they have felt it necessary to maintain strength rather than deal honestly with a painful loss. Good grief is grief that enables us to make the transition to a new phase of existance. The widow must learn to live alone; the parents must bear the loneliness brought on by the death of a child. Grief that deals honestly with the pain is a part of the healing process. Christ wept at the tomb of Lazarus and agonized with "loud crying and tears" in Gethsemane at His own impending death.(Hebrews 5:7)

wish I could tell you all the things my family and I have felt since New Year's Day, but I'm not sure we even understand all the feeling we have. We have tried, and often failed, at taking things one day at a time.
If you have lost a loved one, let us comfort you by letting you know, we grieve also. It is a difficult time in our lives too. We would be more than happy to pray with you, offer whatever comfort to you that we can.
The bible teaches us, "weep with those who weep"(Romans 12:15) So we offer you the opportunity to weep with us in your loss also.

lease continue to follow our pages thru the links we have created. We pray that these words as they are typed, will be a blessing to you. We pray that God touches your heart and soul for Jesus Christ. We rest easier knowing that our beloved Patrick is with his Heavenly Father.

Please sign our guestbook before you leave. Thank you and God Bless you richly! Lisa and family.

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