Articles of Interest

BDSM, The Internet, and Safety

The Internet has brought global village closer together than it has ever been. We can 
purchase everything and anything we can dream of. We can peruse pages on every 
conceivable topic.  We can even converse with other people who are in the same town 
or in another country through E-Mail or chat rooms. We look for others who have the same 
interests in the comfort of our own homes. The Internet has afforded a unique opportunity
for people who are interested in alternative lifestyles to converse with each other. It is a 
way to "meet" people.  

I remember the days when there was no Internet. (I think we were still carving letters on
stone tablets.) I actually had to prepare for my evening out. I would spend hours primping 
and preening just to sit in a club. The BDSM lifestyle was still a mysterious and secretive 
society. You had to wear the appropriate attire, know the "right" people, and present yourself
in such a way that you can get the key to gain entrance. (Sounds like a quest for the Holy 
Grail doesn't it?) The Internet has changed the rites of passage.  Now anyone and everyone
with an iota of curiosity can access the once underground society.  Way back when in the dark
ages of snail mail and face-to-face encounters, people relied on reputations and referrals. 
BDSM lifestylers were wary of the vanilla world. There was a protocol and etiquette that was 
adhered to. There was a progression from acquaintance to friend to possible mate that lasted
months. The Internet has dramatically shortened the time we use to get to know one another.
(Online chat time of 7 days equates to 6 months of face-to-face meetings.) Initial encounters 
aren't what they used to be. People develop relationships and fall in love with the words that 
come across their monitor. It is a strange phenomenon. People would share their inner most 
desires with each other in such a short period of time. It is my opinion that people tend to do 
this for several reasons. First of which, is that they under the misconception that everyone in 
the BDSM lifestyle can be trusted.  Trust is the basis of all forms of BDSM isn't it? So they 
permit themselves to open themselves up. They share intimate information with someone they
have never met and probably will never meet. I find it ironic that in a matter of hours or days 
that a person will disclose extremely personal details. (Would you tell someone you just met in
the supermarket that you get turned on when you beat his or her nice pink bottom into crimson
heated flesh? Or give your heart and soul to someone you only knew for 3 days? I think not.) A 
second reason why people tend to reveal more information than they should is probably due to
the fact that they are sitting in the safety of their own home. People are lulled into a false 
sense of security. People are either ignorant or they forget that anyone with enough time can
find out everything about you from an Internet ISP or E-Mail address. (I know, I have done it.)
You would be amazed how shocked some people are when I call them by their first name and
list the names,addresses, and phone numbers of their neighbors. Why do I do that? Well, 
basically to prove a point to those who think  they are immune to the predators and psychopaths.
It is to show them that just because they are in their own home with the door locked, wearing 
their pajamas and fuzzy bunny slippers, it doesn't equate to complete safety.  All right, if 
you are wondering what is my point is (other than to spend a lot of time spewing words)
that everyone should be mindful of who is lurking in cyberspace reading the words you
send him or her. (The tall leggy blonde lingerie model might in all reality be a toothless
tattooed old man.) It isn't just for the people who share interests in BDSM. It is for everyone.
However I will say this. It is more important to keep this in mind when meeting other people
who are (or claim to be) in the BDSM lifestyle. (For obvious reasons.) 

It was not my intent to make you paranoid about the cyberspace citizenry. However, it was 
my intent to serve you with a reminder that the Internet is not an all-encompassing safe 
haven that it leads us to believe. There are a lot of decent people out there who share 
the same thoughts, views, kinks, and sexual preferences that you do. (In other words,
 "You are not alone".) Constructive discussions and perhaps long lasting relationships
can be precipitated from utilizing the Internet.  Just as long as you keep in mind that
the Internet is a tool. If the tool is utilized with safety precautions in place and some 
common sense, it is a wonderful way of networking with others. (Also the ability to
find really neat BDSM toys that aren't readily available in your local Wal-Mart)


      *** This article was written and copywrited my The SnM InfoDesk 9/26/2000.  
           All rights are reserved. Any part or whole article may NOT be reproduced  
         and/or distributed in any form without expressed written permission of SnM  
             InfoDesk. For requests to reprint please contact SnM InfoDesk@aol.com 
          






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