Articles of Interest

On your mark, get set, GO! It seems like a race for some 
to obtain that elusive collar in the BDSM lifestyle. As 
soon as one learns of the lifestyle,it becomes the goal 
of everyone to either collar or be collared by someone. 
There was a time when a collar was more important 
than a wedding ring. There are those who still believe
in this. (I know you are out there somewhere.) The 
meaning of the collar has, as many definitions now
as there are people. Each person has his or her own definition. 

So what does it mean to have a collar? In my humble 
opinion, it essentially means that you have someone 
you own. (Speaking from the Dominant point of view.) 
It entails having someone you love, trust, and have a 
devoted loyalty to. It doesn't matter what form of BDSM
you practice or what fetish you are into, the collar is a 
universally recognized symbol of being in a committed 
relationship.

I have heard of training collars, protective collars, 
collars to display you are being mentored, and collars
for play. (So many to choose from, I'll take one from 
column A and two from column C.) Let's explore what 
some of these collars might define. 

A Training Collar is to show that a person is rather new 
to either the BDSM lifestyle or a particular aspect of the 
lifestyle. (It is not like   a training bra.) There is an 
agreement between Trainer and trainee to teach 
and learn. A Protective Collar is to show that someone 
(usually a sub/slave/bottom) is being protected by a 
Dominant. It acts like a safety net when the collared 
feels uncomfortable in social situations. (I hear some are 
bullet proof.)

A Mentor's Collar is to show that you are being taught a 
particular skill. It is similar to a Training Collar. For some 
people it is the next step up. (Like graduating from school.) 
Play Collars are used during BDSM activity and not 
necessarily to display as being committed to someone 
else. It only lasts as long as the activity does. 

There is a term known as a True Collar. That 
is when someone is in a committed relationship. 
(It is almost synonymous to a wedding band. 
In all reality it is "collaring" your left ring finger.)

I have seen people change their collar (Dominant 
or submissive) faster than they change their underwear. 
They hop from relationship to relationship being 
collared to each person. This is more prevalent in 
the cyberspace community for some reason. It is in 
the cyberspace community that, in my humble opinion, 
that the meaning of what a collar is has been somewhat
lost. (As if it wasn't difficult enough to keep track of who 
is who, it becomes more of a chore to figure out who
is collared to whom.)

There is a protocol that must be adhered to when 
approaching someone who is collared.  Dominants 
can't just assume that they have free reign over someone
who is collared. They are owned in one form or another. 
It is highly recommended that one ask the Owner of the 
collar if you can touch them. (Hugs, kisses, or in some 
cases even talk to a collared submissive.) So don't take 
offense if a collared person doesn't respond to you, 
there might be a reason for it. 

The collar is the brass ring we all try to obtain. It has 
a definite meaning to each person. It is something 
that should not be rushed into. Don't let your need 
override your sensibilities. You must understand what 
the collar means to your prospective partner so you can
both enjoy your journey together in the BDSM lifestyle.
(Some have been to hell and back, I just want their
frequent flyer miles.)


*** This article was written and copywrited by 
The SnM InfoDesk 10/19/1997. 
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