By: Phaedra Phelan


Rating: PG-13

Summary: What happened between Remington and Laura at Ashford Castle on that first evening after Daniel died and the following day.

Disclaimer: This "Remington Steele" story is not for profit and is purely for entertainment purposes. The author and this site do not own the characters and are in no way affiliated with "Remington Steele," the actors, their agents, the producers, MTM Productions, the NBC Television Network or any station or network carrying the show in syndication, or anyone in the industry.


Even though Laura had been aware that Daniel was seriously, even terminally ill, his sudden death caught her by surprise. She was not prepared for the grief that Remington would feel and the frustration he would experience at still not finding out the important information about himself that he had sought for so long. She found herself grieving for Daniel-the man who had seemed to be so dead set against the relationship that had developed between Remington and her over the past four years. It affected her like the passing of a favorite uncle and she was shocked by that as well.

After they resolved the casket questions and called a mortician to handle the shipping of the "bodies," it was very, very late when Laura and Remington finally walked up the wide staircase to their rooms in the west wing of the castle.

Suddenly the realization of his loss seemed to come hard upon Remington as he stepped into their room. He stood leaning against the door for a long moment after he had closed it..

Mickeline had laid a fire and it was dispelling some of the chill from the drafty room. The huge elevated and canopied bed was turned back and there was tea laid out as well. A red velvet love seat and matching large wing-backed chair in front of the fireplace created a very cozy focus for the large drafty room.

Laura took Remington by the hand and led him to the fireplace where the room was warmest.

"Laura, I found my father today-and I lost my father today."

"I know."

"The grief I feel. . . hurts, Laura" He held his stomach in genuine abdominal distress, as the reality of Daniel's death finally reached him.

"Have a cup of hot tea. It may help, love."

Remington shook his head. He couldn't bear the thought of food or drink.

"Why don't you get into bed and-and try to relax. Just let your feelings come naturally. If you need me, I'll be here."

"I do need you, Laura. I can't imagine what I would do if you were not here." He paused for a moment before he could continue. "I dare say that you are the only one who could possibly understand what I am going through."

Remington undressed and crawled wearily into bed and Laura got ready for bed also, but she sat having a hot cup of tea and watching the fire for a while, mulling over the events of the day.

Remington lay quietly at first but when Laura heard him muffle a sob with his pillow, she jumped from the chair by the fire and went to their bed, reaching out for him, taking him into her arms. As Remington felt her arms holding him, he broke down completely and gave way to deep wracking sobs.

"Oh, God, Laura, he's gone. . . gone."

"It's all right, Remy. It's all right to cry." Laura, who had never seen Remington come apart so completely, summoned all her strength to help him.

"I-I screamed at him when he told me-called him selfish-stormed out of the room. I was quite horrible."

"You couldn't help that. You couldn't know he was so ill."

"When I-I came back, it was too late for us."

"You did talk some?"

"Yes. We embraced, reminisced a bit about the old times, were about to share a brandy-and he was gone. I was asking him my real name-and he died." Remington's tears flowed again. "It was not nearly enough."

"Cry for your father. . ." Laura smoothed his hair and just held him to her bosom as he grieved for Daniel. "Cry for Daniel."

Laura kissed his temple and forehead as she held him sobbing in her arms.

"Please don't ever leave me, Laura. You're all I have in the whole world."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Remington clung to Laura. "Oh, Laura, comfort me tonight." Remington begged, reaching for her breasts with the tips of his fingers, caressing her hips and thighs, even as his tears still flowed, searching for the flesh of the woman that made him feel emotionally whole and complete.

Suddenly the chill seemed to vanish from the drafty room as Laura shed the warm cotton gown she was wearing and set about comforting her grieving husband.

"Just lie there, Remy."

"Laura, I'm consumed with sadness tonight. Help me forget for just a while."

Laura kissed him over and over again-her soft mouth caressing his lips, his face, her hands rubbing his chest and hard belly, all of him.

"Yes, Laura, yes!" His urgent cry was her response.

They were rapidly involved, aroused. Remington groaned and growled passionately as he sought Laura's flesh, touching her so masterfully that she simply melted in his arms. They were overcome, unable to hold back from one another for another moment as Remington drew Laura onto him. It seemed natural for them to join that way on this night when he was in such grief; even so, they were unprepared for the shock of ecstasy as they came together. After weeks of abstinence, the connection caught them off guard and they both shuddered and quivered as the primordial sensations of coitus gripped them, holding them captive.

"Yes, Laura. Oh, God, yes!" Remington wept as Laura made love to him and Laura wept as well. She cried for the lonely man whom she loved with all her heart, the man still was searching for his himself, trying to know who he was, and she cried for her own father, who had left her as a teenager so many years before.

"Remy, Remy. . ." Laura sighed the name that she had given him over and over as they gave themselves to one another.

"Oh, God, who am I?" Remington cried out in anguish. "I'll never know who I am."

"You're mine, Remy. You're my husband. . .and I'm-I'm yours. . ."

Laura was caught up in her passion for Remington-hardly able to speak due to the combination of intense pleasure and pathos she was feeling as Remington's body filled hers so completely. And when the summit came, they were both transported by spasms so profound that they just held on to each other for dear life, trembling and shaking helplessly, babbling incoherently.

"Remy. . ." Laura gasped finally.

Remington felt the intensity of Laura's acme and the release of his life force simultaneously with her experiencing the marvelous free fall of total surrender that left her finally lying limp on her husband's chest.

"Where would I be without you?" Remington whispered to her as the afterglow began to overtake them.

"No matter where you were, I would find you, Remington Steele."

"I think that you would, love."

"And I would name you Remington Steele all over again."

"Laura-Laura. . ." Remington's heart was throbbing in unison with Laura's as the fiery passion that had been banked for so long within the two of them burst into flame again, fueled by inexhaustible stores of sensual energy in both of them and they were gone again, the chill and draftiness of the castle bedroom forgotten as they threw back the covers and made love with abandon until they finally fell asleep well after midnight.

When Laura awakened just a few hours later, it was just after dawn. Remington had gotten the fire going again and he sat on the velvet love seat in front of the fireplace in quiet reflection. The anguish of the night before was gone but the mere thought of Daniel still flooded his eyes with tears.

Laura lay in the bed watching her husband, remembering the night before when he had been so shaken, so in need. She got up, wrapped herself in a warm wool robe and went to Remington.

"How are you, love?"

Remington looked at his wife, so beautiful to him fresh from sleep and drew her down beside him, kissing her tenderly upon her mouth, his hands catching in her long tousled chestnut locks.

"I'm better than last night, Laura. I just felt suddenly so lost-lost in the world-truly orphaned in the fullest sense of the word. . . no need to look for my father any longer. The quest is over-and I still don't have the answers I was searching for, the answers I want to give you."

Remington's blue eyes were sad, pensive, their intense color only heightened by the deep navy of the heavy terry robe he had wrapped around him. His hair mussed from bed, unshaven, he was still shockingly handsome to Laura.

"I can't expect you to give me information that you do not have, Remy. That would be unreasonable."

"Laura, I want to tell you all that I know about myself. I want you to listen very carefully because some of this is not at all pretty but it is nonetheless the truth. I don't want any more surprises like Shannon Wayne dropping in on us that you know nothing about. Do you think that you are a point where you can handle this kind of information?" He took Laura's hands in his and rubbed them and then kissed them. "Before I start with this, I want to thank you for last night-for the way you gave yourself to me to help me get past my initial feelings over the loss of-of Daniel. We were truly one last night, Laura. You. . . shared everything. . . my pain, my tears."

"You needed me." Laura said simply, smiling a smile of mysterious seduction that Remington was coming to know so well. He gathered her even closer into his embrace and kissed her willing lips, a deep searching kiss that left Laura wanting him to keep kissing her forever.

"What we have between us, Laura. . . I have never been like this with anyone before. Oh, the mechanics were always there, and I always prided myself on being able to satisfy my partner in a variety of ways, but the emotion I feel when I am joined to you is like nothing I could have ever imagined. I can only describe it as a marvelous sense of completeness, of letting go emotionally to you. I realize that I had always held something back from everyone that I was with. But I do not want to hold anything back from you, love. I can't." Remington took Laura's hand and turned the palm to his lips and kissed it, inhaling the scent of it.

"You always kiss my hand like that."

"I love your hands, Laura. I love the smell of them. I love the feel of them. Would you believe that you are the only woman that I was ever with who never lacquers her nails?" He kissed Laura's fingertips.

"I never felt like I had anything to lacquer. I confess that I bit my nails when I was a child-actually well into my teens. It was a real issue between my mother and me. Since I played the piano, she would continually remind me that my hands were just too unattractive to put on display like that. Finally, when I went away to college, I stopped biting them, but they were never-well-beautiful."

"I find them supremely beautiful. You never need to lacquer them for me. The feel of them, the way they move, that quirky left-handed way that you do everything. It's part of what makes you 'you.' " Remington turned her hand over and kissed her wrist just over her pulse and then the tender sensitive inside of her forearm.

Laura gasped as the sensation awakened a profusion of emotions in her that would have only one means of resolution.

"It is all so strange. I feel like I just became a woman since you and I came together physically. All the others, the college boyfriends, the relationships that I thought were serious-Wilson-all seem insignificant now. I thought of myself as a woman of the world, aware, experienced, but I found out that there was something out there waiting for me that was so much more sensual, more passionate than anything I could have imagined. I wanted you from the beginning, but I did not realize how much I needed to give myself to you, to surrender to you. I was always so afraid of being dominated, of losing myself in a man."

"And-did you feel dominated when I was on you like a crazy man?" Remington scrutinized her carefully, his finger tracing the outline of her lips.

"No, I felt like we were two people dying of thirst who had found a beautiful oasis and were drinking to the full-no limit, no rations, for the first time in our lives. You were drinking from my cup and I was drinking from yours."

Remington kissed Laura again, possessing her open mouth with his in the passionate way that he always did.

"Oh, Remy, when you kiss me like that. That's how you got me, you know. That first time we kissed-the taste of your mouth, the sensation of your mouth inside mine. I don't believe you know the meaning of the term 'chaste kiss.' "

Remington smiled. "Those kisses were all we had for a very long time, Laura. I had to survive off those kisses. My darling, I never dreamed that I could desire a woman as much as I have desired you."

"I know. I lived for those kisses too."

"And then the moment came when everything changed, didn't it?"

"I will never forget that day for as long as I live-or that night."

Remington kissed Laura's forehead and then reluctantly released her and poured a cup of the hot tea for her from the pot that was on the tray before them.

"O'Casey has been here already, I see."

"I thought that I wouldn't be sleeping well so I asked for tea early."

"It is perfect," Laura said as she sipped from her steaming cup and then turned her full attention to Remington again.

"Well, let me see where I can start. My life up until I was about four is pretty much a blur. I remember someone that I called 'Mother' who suddenly disappeared at that time. That is when things really changed for me. I went from one house to another. No one seemed to know what they wanted to do with me. I remember arguments. I did not understand them but I knew them to be about me."

"They just raised you with their own children?"

"In a sense. I knew that I was the odd one. I always knew that. And being shunted about like that I went to so many different schools by the time that I was ten, that I became a pretty negative young boy. Then, when I was ten, I was sent to live with Mr. and Mrs. McGinty. I realized later that it really was a home for orphans. There were ten of us there and it was truly hell. Mrs. McGinty was about six feet tall and weighed in at well over two hundred pounds and her husband was even bigger. The name of the game was threats and intimidation along with deprivation. One day I did not make my bed to her satisfaction and her husband cuffed me so soundly that I was unconscious for some time. I have no way of knowing just how long, but when I came to, he-he had me down with his filthy. . ." Remington stopped for a moment, unable to continue. Then he took a deep breath. "I screamed and he knocked me out again. When I finally regained consciousness, I was bleeding from my rectum and I could hardly walk."

"Oh, my God! He-raped you." Laura was horrified, her eyes filled with tears as she realized what had happened to him.

"Yes, he most certainly did. I knew that such things happened but it had never happened to me. I was devastated because I knew that his wife was in on the game. I made up my mind to leave-to run away from that place. I knew that I would die if I stayed there because I would not yield my body to that abuse voluntarily and he would end up killing me. There was a circus in town that week and I waited till the day that I knew they were leaving town and ran away with them."

"But you were only ten years old."

"I worked, Laura. I carried water for the animals. I cleaned up the crap in their cages. I worked hard. Of course I learned things too-fire eating, trapeze, carnival con games, pick pocketing. One of the women there in the sideshow had children and she made me sit with them when she gave them their lessons. I had learned at that orphan house not to ever trust anyone again and that was my motto, Laura. I had learned the disadvantage of being slightly too good looking as well and I learned to fight-to defend myself against the McGinty's of the world, those men who were looking to abuse young boys who were seemingly unprotected like myself."

"You were just a child and you had to survive like that."

"Yes, and I did. The circus finally ended up in London by the time that I was eleven years old. I knew some carny people who had contacts in Brixton and that's where I was for quite a while-living by my wits, one step ahead of the law. When things got too hot for me there, the opportunity came to get on that tanker going to Greece."

"With Mar-cos." Laura smiled, remembering the story of the Greek pirate that took Remington in.

"Yes, Marcos Androkos. I went all the way around the world on that tanker he was the skipper of-France, Italy, Turkey, down to Kenya and South Africa. He was a straight shooter. I did what I was told and he fed me and kept me out of trouble. Then, after he bought that ill-fated tanker, the one that blew up, I came back to England with him on another tanker. I had missed England and Ireland for some reason."

"Even though things were so tough for you?"

"Yes, even though things were so tough-hanging out in Brixton in damp dank cold water flats-picking pockets just to have bread in my mouth. I was fourteen by then, in the throes of puberty. That was when I met Daniel-on the street near Harrod's. I had picked his pocket and he threatened to beat the living hell out of me if I did not give his wallet back to him."

"And you gave it back."

"Absolutely. He'd beaten me at my own game-and I was good. Then he looked at me and I guess he took compassion on me-asked me when I had last had a good meal. I couldn't remember. He took me into a decent pub and told me to order up-and I did. I was suspicious because I thought he was just a pervert looking a boy to use and I wasn't about to fall into that trap. He asked me where I stayed and I told him that the streets and I were best friends. I had atrocious table manners and he kept correcting me. He asked me if I wanted to come and stay with him-learn how to be a proper gentleman, break out of that terrible situation that I was in."

"And what did you say to that?"

"I refused him flat. I still thought he had designs on me. After what had happened to me with McGinty, I was sensitive to that kind of thing and wasn't about to get taken advantage of. But something about him seemed sincere. He gave me his address and told me to look him up if I ever got in trouble. We parted and I thought that that was the end of it."

"Was he the suave, debonair character even then?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely-groomed to perfection, immaculate. And I was a mess. If I got a bath once a week, I was doing well. I was growing out of my clothes as fast as I filched them. I even had a beard most of the time-because I didn't have any steady place to attend to myself."

"And you weren't going to school?"

"Would you think that I could have gotten into Eton like that?" Remington quipped. "No, I had no formal education other than what I have described to you. I loved reading and during those long months on ship I had read everything in the ship's library at least twice. Then the travel itself taught me so much-geography, science. I learned geometry on that bloody tanker traveling by means of the stars, using a quadrant. I learned the language of the places we visited-French, Spanish, Greek, Turkish, Afrikaans-more of some than of others, but enough to get by in any case. No secondary school, no university, nothing like that."

"Where did you learn to cook?"

"I worked at Chez Paul's in Paris for a summer when I was seventeen-a four star restaurant in Guide Michelin. Daniel was working a big con in the south of France and didn't need an inexperienced teenager around mucking things up."

"You had on the job training. There is no substitute for that."

"When I found out that you had matriculated Stanford-top of your class, I was quite intimidated, Laura. I felt that you would feel that I was too far beneath your station-at least that is the way it would be stated in England or Ireland."

"You felt that I would view you as beneath my station. That's why you didn't tell me these things about yourself."

"Yes, that is partly why."

"But, Remington, you have tremendous life experience. Even now academic institutions credit people for their life experience toward academic degrees. The travel, the cultures, the languages-all that you have been exposed to and soaked up has given you a tremendous education. How could I think of you as beneath my so-called station?"

Remington smiled tenderly at Laura and kissed her hand. "That is what makes me care so deeply for you, Laura." They paused and both of them realized what he had just said. "Laura, I think we need a break from this talking. We can pick this up again after breakfast, don't you think?" His voice was husky with desire for her again as he drew her into his arms and they lost themselves in each other on the red velvet love seat in front of the fire.

"Oh, Remy, where did you learn all this?" Laura murmured as he touched her, pleasuring her.

"Let's not talk any more, darling," Remington whispered as they became engrossed in their own mysteries once again. The love seat presented no problem for them as they came together as man and wife again, their bodies entwined and locked together in a passion that burned hot and complete for them. There were no tears this time as there had been the night before, but just the two of them joyfully surrendering themselves to one another. Laura saw Remington's face in the firelight, contorted in an agony of ecstasy, his eyes rolling back into his head. And she heard herself crying his name as the climax thundered over her, leaving her moaning helplessly in its wake. The next thing that she knew Remington picked her up in his arms and carried her off to bed again.

It was nearly noon when they finally were able to leave the haven of their bedroom and face the world outside. The staff had prepared a hearty brunch for them in the dining room and they were happy to show their appreciation by eating heartily of the smoked salmon, steak and kidney pie, eggs and bacon and assorted seasonal fruits and pastries along with steaming coffee.

"I think that I would like to go into the village to speak with a solicitor, Laura, about what to do about this place. I can't sell it. I can't get it out of debt, but I think that I should be able to give it to the servants. They could become a corporation of sorts, run it as a guest hotel. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. Do you think they will give us options on that master bedroom in perpetuity?"

"Seems reasonable enough. We have already some marvelous memories of that place, don't we? And I'm looking forward to more. It's going to take a few more days to see these matters with Daniel, Kamadov, and agent Fitch resolved. In the meantime we have to figure out what to do with this castle."

They were occupying just one end and corner of the long table and Remington leaned over and squeezed Laura's thigh to emphasize his point. She was radiant, the passionate moments with her new husband only intensifying her classic beauty. They were both dressed casually in heavy sweaters of Irish wool and slacks and Laura was hardly wearing makeup but they were both so carried away with one another that they just glowed.

"Tell me more about how you and Daniel got together, Remy."

Laura poured more coffee for both of them as Remington continued his saga.

"Well, I went on a caper with a couple other mates-Monroe was one of them. We broke into a jewelry store. It was stupid really. The alarms went off and we had to get out of there. Monroe and I got out before the bobbies got there but we knew that we were going to be hot after that on the street. I only knew of one place to go and that was the address that Daniel had given me. Monroe had his own contacts among the West Indian community who would protect him. I showed up on Daniel's doorstep in the middle of the night and he took me in. I came clean with him as to what had happened."

"What did he say about that?"

"He said that if I were going to be a jewel thief, I'd better learn how from the master. I had to promise that I would do nothing else stupid and he promised me training, mentoring, a making of me into a gentleman who could present himself anywhere. I took him up on it. He was a tough taskmaster but I was fascinated with him. He was cultured, appeared to be wealthy, and I decided that I wanted to be like him."

"You wanted to be a jewel thief," Laura smiled wryly at her husband.

"I saw that if I didn't get off the streets, I would soon land in prison-and I did not want that under any circumstance. Daniel taught me many things. I found out right away that he was no pervert. I never told him what had happened to me at McGintys' but after he cleaned me up and took me to a decent tailor, he knew that I would be a target of men like that. He schooled me well on how to protect myself, sent me to a boxing academy for seveal weeks. He wanted to send me to school but I had no papers from any of little schooling I had previously had. I did not even have a birth certificate, Laura. We could have forged papers, but I had not had enough experience in school to know how to carry off the con."

"Your situation was pathetic."

"To top it all off, I was a raving adolescent. I was so randy. I brought a young girl into his house to take her to bed and Daniel was livid. That's when he gave me his talk on the rules of the game-about protecting females from myself and other things. He gave me a supply of condoms and told me to never be without them. He made no moral judgments for me. I wish that he had really. I was looking for that from someone. Instead he sent me for a visit to an old female friend of his, Lillie Lamour. She was actually a madam. I stayed a month with her and-well, she was my teacher. She was forty and I had just turned sixteen. After a month with Lillie Lamour-well the rest is history. I went around bangin' every bird I wanted. I don't have any idea how many women I've been with, Laura, but it was way too many-easily a couple hundred from every corner of the earth-white, black, Asian, East Indian, West Indian, American Indian, Spanish, Portuguese, Greek, Jewish."

"But it is Lillie Lamour that I owe all this expertise to," Laura stated smiling and shaking her head.

"When I was in London two years ago, I heard that she had passed away. She was a woman without a moral compass but-well, that is the life to which Daniel introduced me to, and it was a whole sight better than where he found me."

"Did you stay with Daniel all the time?"

"No, when I was nineteen, we had to leave London for a while. Things were pretty hot after we did a pretty high profile jewel job together. Monroe and I hooked up again and ended up in Barbados for several months. When we wore out our welcome there, I went to South America, to Rio."

"That's where you were the Kilkenny Kid?"

"Yes, and when that ran its course, I took a steamer around Cape Horn and on to Hong Kong."

"You met Shannon Wayne there?"

"She was the daughter of a British attaché there. She'd had an ill- advised love affair with an older married man, had become pregnant and was disgraced by her family. We became friends-and then lovers for a while, but neither of us was faithful."

"She called you 'Dougie,' Douglas Quintain?"

Oh, yes, by that time I was in the name game on a grand scale. I dare say that you are aware that the movies were my other teacher, especially when I was basically living in the streets. I could always pick up a few shillings and go to a movie on a cold day-or a miserably hot one."

"Did Shannon keep her child?"

"No, she gave it up to be adopted. I think that that is really what made me leave her. Believing myself to have been abandoned by my own mother, I couldn't understand a woman who would do something like that. I went back to London. I was over in my twenties by then-twenty-three to be exact-and I looked up Daniel again. We took up our old relationship again and we worked together very well, pulling just enough jewel or art heists to stay under the radar, so to speak. It was Daniel who taught me to stay completely away from firearms. He said that carrying a gun was the easiest way to end up dead, and I believe that down to this day. He said, 'Know all that there is to know about firearms, but never carry one on your person.' And he taught me too. I recognize the make of a gun by just the sound of the trigger cocking. We lived quite well and I thought that that would be my life."

"And then one day you came to America following Royal Lavulite."

Remington took both Laura's hands in his and looked deep into her eyes. "Yes, one day I came to America and met a woman unlike any woman I had met in my whole life, and my life has never been the same since."

"You became Remington Steele. And Daniel was not happy."

"No, he wasn't. I had not realized that he was so attached to me. I didn't take it seriously. I had no idea that he was my father. I was so angry at a father who would leave a young son unprotected and uncared for that I would never have stayed around him if I had known. Even the fact that we were the same blood type we treated as a quirk, a coincidence. It never occurred to me that we might be related. We even joked about being at death's door and knowing where to find the right blood type. The ability to work a lock just like he did-well, that didn't strike me as anything genetically passed along. When he realized the truth about me? I guess that I will never know the answer to that question." Remington sighed deeply, his cobalt eyes pensive.

"Remington, I think that we should go see that solicitor now, don't you."

"Yes, I have a few more arrangements to check on as to the caskets that we sent out last night. British Intelligence will be contacting me about the resolution of all of this. We should be able to get back here just in time to have a nice nap-eh?" Remington's eyes twinkled at the prospect of the afternoon with Laura, as he drew her from her chair onto his lap and kissed her soundly.