Madame Twanky does the Macarena
Disclaimer: Not in any way, shape, or form are the following characters mine. X-Files characters belong to 1013 and Fox. Sailor Moon characters belong to DIC and Bandai, etc. Xena and Hercules characters belong to Universal and MCA Television, etc. Also, Team Rocket belongs to Pokemon and its respective companies. This is purely entainment material only! Enjoy!
Place- Mulder and Scully’s office, FBI HQ.
Time- One o’ clock PM
Mulder is alone in the office, wandering around, wiring what looks like turntables up. A disco ball hangs from the ceiling. Mulder is moonwalking to some silent music. Suddenly, Scully walks in
Scully- (slaps forehead) Again! Again Mulder, you are turning this room into a circus!!
Mulder- You can never have any fun Scully! Don’t you see? This is going to be fun!
Scully- What are you talking about? Mulder, please explain.
Mulder- My name is no longer Mulder. It is now DJ Foxy M.
Scully- DJ Foxy M?
Mulder- Like it? I’ve been thinking. I’m always trying to meet aliens, maybe I can meet them in a more conventional way—
Scully- (Looking at the equipment, doubtfully) By having a dance?
Mulder- Exactly.
Scully- Ok, DJ Foxy M. So your going to invite aliens to—
Mulder shoves a flyer into Scully’s hands.
Scully- (reads) Swingin’ singles dance hosted by DJ Foxy M. All aliens welcome.
Mulder- I had Frohike and the guys hand this flyer out all over. I even got them to find the aliens that we met before. And I even bent the rules a bit, I invited that girl in leather and her little blond friend.
Scully- Oh, great! Now I’, going to have to deal with the Leather Lunatic again.
Mulder- You guys just got off on the wrong foot.
Scully- May I remind you she tied you to a tree.
Mulder- I know, but unlike you, I can forgive and forget.
Scully- (throws up hands, exasperated) Whatever Mulder!
Mulder- My name is DJ Foxy M!
Scully- Yeah, whatever. (sits down)
Krycek walks in, dressed in an outfit straight from Saturday Night Fever. He wears platforms and a thick gold chain. He is wearing a fake afro wig that nearly stops him in the door.
Krycek- Hey guys. (Holds up flyer) I heard that Muldy is throwing a little shindig here, and I wanted to stop by. I am invited of course?
Mulder- (Looks over at Krycek) Uh, no.
Scully- (teasingly) Oh, come on Muldy!
Mulder- Shut up!
Scully gives Mulder a puppy dog face.
Mulder- (sighs.) Fine, Krycek.
Krycek- Yay! (Does a mini disco dance, nearly trips and falls and breaks his neck.) Hey Muldy, I hope you save a dance for me tonight! (Dances out of the room, singing Macho Man by the Village People.)
Mulder- What did you expect?
Scully- You should change your name to DJ Muldy Muld.
Mulder- Funny.
Place- Mulder and Scully’s office, FBI HQ.
Time- Ten o’ clock that evening.
The office is booming. Mulder, dressed in a FUBU jersey and baggy jeans is mixing up the latest music. Scully, looking very depressed, is wearing a short black dress. The disco ball is ablaze, and Frohike and Krycek are tearing up the floor.
Frohike- Come on Scully, let’s dance! (Does the washing machine.)
Scully- No thanks. (Looks at Mulder.) How did you ever talk me into this?
Mulder does not reply.
The door flies open. Ares dressed in his traditional black leather walks in, followed by Xena and Gabby. Finally, Joxer makes an appearance wearing the exact same outfit as Krycek.
Krycek- (bounces over to Joxer.) Nice outfit!
Joxer- You too!
Gabby rolls her eyes. Joxer and Krycek begin to disco dance.
Xena- How did you talk me into this?
Gabby- Come on Xena, we never have any fun anymore.
Scully notices the entrance of the party and tries to make herself unnoticeable.
Xena notices Scully.
Xena- Hey, it’s that woman I fought.
Gabby- Don’t start a fight, Xena.
Xena- I’m not. (Walks over to Scully.)
They begin to talk. Eventually they find common ground. They both think the party sucks.
All the while, the sailor scouts have arrived. Everyone is dancing.
Mulder- Hey all you party people, shake your booties!!
Everyone screams in reply.
Frohike- (To himself.) I have to get the tasty Scully. (Grabs Scully.) Come on, have some fun!
Scully- Come on, Frohike, leave me alone.
Xena- Frohike, right?
Frohike- Yeah.
Xena- Good night! (Puts the inch on him.)
Scully- Hey, thanks. I wanna learn how to do that!
Xena- I’ll teach you.
Xena drags Frohike into the corner and shows Sully the steps.
All the while the party is getting insane.
Mulder- Everybody say hey!!
All- Hey!
Mulder- Everybody say hey, hey!
All- Hey, hey!
Mulder- And now it’s time for everyone’s favorite… The YMCA!
YMCA plays.
All- Y-M-C-A! It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!!
Then the door bursts open, Hercules bursts in.
Hercules- There’s no party without the Herc!
All- Go Herc, go Herc, go Herc!
Hercules dances around. Krycek is starting to get into it. He pulls off his disco suit and starts dancing around in a red speedo.
Krycek- Hey Muldy, come dance!
For once Mulder listens, he starts to dance.
Then the music stops suddenly. The disco ball stops spinning. The lights go out. A spotlight appears on the door, the door flies open and…
Madame Twanky- It is I… Madame Twanky!
She waltzes in and jumps on top of the desk. She looks down on the mass of people and then says.
Madame Twanky- Everyone—MACRENA!
The Macrena begins to blare from the speakers. The whole room, including Frohike, Xena, and Scully begin to Macarena.
The music blares and everyone is singing along. Then the music stops.
Madame Twanky- Hey!
Krycek- (in mid-butt wiggle) Hey! I was enjoying that!
Mysterious Voices- Prepare for trouble… And make it double… To protect the world from devastation… To unite all people within our nation… To denounce the evils of truth and love… To extend our reach to the stars above… Jesse… James… Team rocket, blast off the at the speed of light… Dance now, or prepare to fight!
Meowith- That’s right!
Mulder- Yes! Yes! Real aliens!!! Yes!
Team Rocket- Congratulations… You have learned the Official Team Rocket dance! Now, let’s go!!
Macarena begins again.
The party flares back to life.
Mulder- Hey, I told you I would meet aliens.
Scully- Whatever, DJ Foxy M, whatever.
All- Go Twanky, go Twanky, go Twanky!!
Macarena continues…
The End! (Make it Stop!)